ANY BODY WILLING TO HELP A STUDENT AND FELLOW LDR MEMBER WANTED !!!

[smagnew]

My name is Sarah, I am currently in a LDR relationship with my SO Chris and we have been together for almost a year now. We are separated due to the distance between our universities. I live in FL while he is in DE. It is because of this relationship, that I decided to do my semester research project on the social interaction between romantic partners in Long distance relationships. If any body is willing to help it would be greatly appreciated. Below are a list of open ended questions, feel free to answer as many as you like openly and honestly. I would also welcome an comments, tips, suggestions or possible questions you may think are important that I may have missed. I can assure you any comments that are left will remain confidential, as will your identity (username insures this).
Thank you.


1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
8. How important is trust?
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
13. Is it worth it?

[lala]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
we've been 3 months CD and now 9 months LD and there are 3 months to come till we see eachother- he is in canada, I'm in germany

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
he is very friendly, likes to help, has a good sence of humour, has a good heart, is open minded, sociable, has good work morals, is a family guy, sportive..

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
communication,trust issues, not being there for eachother, phisical aspect

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
we can concentrate on work and school. more time for ourselves, family and friends

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
sometimes,cause you are often alone and has to deal with everything alone..

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
sometimes. especially trust issues- if trust is broken once it's hard to work on that if you're apart

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
communication.plans for the future. respect each others nees and wishes

8. How important is trust?
really important. trust is the basic of relationships

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
yes. I try to calm down and focus on my things.. if it's getting to bad I'm talking to him

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
sure. but we helo eachother with that

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
we remind eachother of the moments we had together.share how our day was..

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
sometimes I act bitchy cause I'm frustrated that we are soo far apart. or I'm so happy cause I think about him

13. Is it worth it?
yes, otherwise I won't do it the moments together are worth every pain.

[kittyo9]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We have been together for about 1 year 8 months. We are about 3700 miles apart.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He's kind of a dork. He likes to be cute and silly, but is very romantic and devoted. He can sometimes be a little immature. He is very determined when he sets his mind on something. He is very friendly but a little shy.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Making peace with their physical absence.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR?
Trust issues and personality clashes are brought up much earlier in the relationship.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Sometimes. It's mostly frustrating when no matter how hard we try, things come in the way of us being together-- for example, my SO has tried twice to obtain a visa to visit me but has been denied both times.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
We try to tackle any problems when they first arise. The only recurring issue has been occasional immaturity.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Trust, honesty, respect, and communication.
8. How important is trust?
Extremely. You cannot have a relationship with a person if you do not fully trust them.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Only a little bit, mostly only when one of us spends more time with our friends than with each other.
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Not really. Both of us are very willing to put all of our effort into the relationship and we both have high emotional investment in it. We don't hold anything back from it just because we're not physically together.
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
Lots and lots of communication. We IM frequently and Skype call one another when we're both home.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Sometimes I'm a little extra spacey or emotional.
13. Is it worth it?
If it weren't, I'd have left a long time ago.

[katylynnlee]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
One year and eight months, 1703 kilometers

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
My SO is very calm and laid back. He likes joking around, and can be a huge goof sometimes. He's very sarcastic, and smart.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
In my experiences, being so far apart makes me very stressed and worried, but once I talk to him, everything is fine. It's also hard to explain to friends and family that you "made plans" with your boyfriend in a different province.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
A lot of our relationship is based on communication, and I really think we got to know each other a lot better and faster than if we would've met in person.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
It's not as frustrating, as it is lonely. I don't really mind it, but missing my SO can really hurt sometimes.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
The only problem on our part, is a little jealousy. But we talk through it, and explain why we love each other. Usually it's our own insecurities that would turn up in a close distance or long distance relationship anyway.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Good communication and trust. Our LDR struggled for a bit because we never use to tell each other what was wrong. Now, if there's a problem, we make time to discuss it until it is resolved.

8. How important is trust?
In a normal relationship, trust is important, but in an LDR, it's the founding structure. You have to be able to trust that your SO is telling you the truth, and you have to trust that they will remain loyal to you. And most of all, you have to trust they love you and everything will work out for the best.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Yes, it can still be an issue at times. Usually we talk through it and explain to the other person that we love them, they are important, etc.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
It can be, but usually not. Sometimes we have boring conversations on the phone because we're both busy/don't have anything to talk about. But we still make efforts to say we love each other, make dates and talk when we feel like it. I don't think any couple is mushy 24/7, you have to have times where you chill out too. My SO is one of my best friends, but that doesn't mean I tell him every minute. Nor do I tell my other friends how awesome they are all the time. I don't talk to them 24/7 either. I think balance is in order, or the mushy stuff will get old.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We plan dates to hang out, and reserve time for them, as if we were hanging out in person. We do things for each other, like mail gifts or leave each other messages. My boyfriend once said, "Just pretend I live down the street, but I just never leave my house", when I was missing him. It's kind of like that, though I don't see him everyday, I talk to him and interact with him.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
I get a little more stressed out than normal. Slightly more emotion if he has recently left.

13. Is it worth it?
Yes, I have met a lot of assholes in the area I live in and I honestly didn't think I'd meet anyone I liked. Now I've been dating my SO for almost two years, and he makes me feel like I'm worth it when I never did before. He also opened my life up to new possibilities. Like the college I'm going to be attending in September, that I never would've looked at, if it hadn't have been for him living there.

[Zapookie]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We have been together for 1 year and 4 months. We are over 7,000 miles apart.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He is very charismatic - everyone he runs into takes an instant liking to him. He's a very loving and fun person to be around. Creative and talented. Open minded. Incredibly intelligent. He's quite grounded and he knows who he is, which I think is what drew me to him.. he loves animals and cute things, but he's still a manly man when he needs to be He's also a lover and is very affectionate.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Not seeing each other... lack of physical contact/affection.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I think the greatest advantage is communication becomes the number 1 priority, so it tests you and you slowly learn to fine tune it. You also spend a lot of time just talking to them, getting to know them on a deeper level because you don't have the physical distractions.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Yeah, it is at times, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
No, not really. If there's an issue, we talk it through. I try to make sure that there's no more residue of it left, and we usually try and move on from it. If there is an issue that I/he feels has not been resolved, we'll try and talk about it until we can find some kind of level ground.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Trust and communication.

8. How important is trust?
It's enormously important, especially with being away from your partner, you have to be able to trust that they aren't hiding anything or that they're doing what they say they are.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
It was.. from both sides. We talked about it. It was mainly issues with his ex trying to stay relevant for a while in the beginning of our relationship. He had an issue with someone I used to have feelings for a while ago, who in his opinion, was also trying to stay relevant.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
It gets affected when we don't skype for a few days at a time, or if our skype conversations become short and empty, which thankfully is rare.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We just talk every day. We keep each other updated with our daily lives. Basically we keep communication lines open both ways.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Yes, I definitely don't go out as much anymore. One of the reasons is money, but the other reason is that I just feel lonely going out without him and wish he could be there. I still catch up with my friends at least once a fortnight, but classes keep me busy. I was highly emotional right after he left after having spent 3 months together.. it was difficult for me to get back into the swing of things.

13. Is it worth it?
Yes ma'am.

[Haley53]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you? A little over a year. 5, 127mi.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality? He's very sensitive and expressive, intelligent, stubborn, but more easy going than I can ever hope to be. :P
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship? Being physically separated from one another, and not even being able to have a hug from him when I need/want one.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR. LDRs bring out any communication issues a lot earlier on, given that they're based around communication. I know I have personally become a better communicator in part because of my LDR (there are other external factors to that as well) and having a partner so open to communicating with me.
5.Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating? Sometimes. I of course want him to be with me all of the time, but that's simply not possible at this point and the only alternative to a LDR is, well, no relationship, which isn't currently an option for me, and I'm choosing not to focus on the frustrating/negative aspects to being so far apart.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they? Not really, no. We're both very good at talking things out and we're both pretty confident/secure in one another. I would say for a while, his grief was a problem, and it surfaces occasionally now. I'm not sure how our relationship would have differed, if at all, if we were close distance through this time.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship? Trust, communication, respect, honesty, and growth.
8. How important is trust? Very. I feel a lack of it can put an unnecessarily large strain on any relationship and the individuals in it.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it? Once. I personally dealt with it by doing work in therapy, because jealousy is a personal issue and I did not feel it was fair to "work on it" with my SO when he had done nothing to deserve it. It was my issue, so I worked on it with someone who could help. :P That said, it's only ever been with one person. Jealousy is not an issue for me in this relationship.
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance? Nope.
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart? We share everything together. We talk, we play games, we Skype, we plan on starting to read together, etc. We simply interact and engage as much as we can with the miles between us.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO? Somewhat. I curse a lot less, my mother says. But speaking seriously, I miss him to the point of depression after the end of each visit, but I tend to pick back up and settle into a routine. He has a somewhat harder time with that, but I also have work/school at the moment, and I take exercise classes, all of which help me have a life independent of my relationship and keep me from being sucked too deeply into the "miss you" level of depression. I think I'd go insane without those anchors in place. :P
13. Is it worth it? Simply, yes.

[lademoiselle]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
I've been with my SO for one year and eight months now. We're 213 miles apart; I live in London, UK and he's in Paris, France.

2. Briefly describe your SO's personality?
Although he gets on very well with others, he plays his cards close to his chest - I feel rather privileged to know the real him! If I had to pick three words to describe him, I'd say tenacious, ambitious and loyal.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
What I find hardest is being denied the chance to be there for him. Of course you can provide your partner with a great deal of emotional support no matter how great the distance between you, but that I can't meet him home from work with dinner or take care of him when he's not feeling great is something which never fails to sadden me. And, well, I do miss cuddling with him too

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR?
I suppose so! Both of us love visiting one another's countries, and when we see each other everything still feels new and exciting. On a deeper level, this LDR has taught me to appreciate the little things even more than I did before. I can't take anything for granted anymore - not just with regard to love, but in terms of life itself.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Not in itself, no, but I do get frustrated when external factors impede our progress. For example, I'm not working at the moment so I don't have a regular source of income, and of course I need money to visit my SO. Hence my inability to find a job disappoints me. I think that's a bit different!

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
I don't think we have recurring problems between us as such. I can be a bit of an emotional mess sometimes, but those stem from personal issues and are nothing to do with my SO. He's very good at helping me resolve them though

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Communication, trust, respect and honesty.

8. How important is trust?
Paramount, and all the more when you're in an LDR.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Not more than what I imagine is natural. I did feel rather insecure at the beginning when I heard about his past girlfriends; since I'd never had a boyfriend my SO didn't have to worry about me comparing him to any exes, but that wasn't the case for me! I got over it soon enough though

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Yes, in a positive way. I feel that our emotional bond is stronger because of the distance, as while we're apart that's pretty much all we have.

11. How do you attempt to maintain "closeness" while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We simply try our best to stay busy. I think it's easier for him because he has work and a wide social circle to immerse himself in; my life is quite empty in comparison (at the moment). Regarding staying close, we chat online as much as we can, drop each other the odd text and focus on making it to the day we'll next see each other. We muddle through somehow.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Hmm, it varies. I have days where I find I'm quite tearful for no apparent reason, then other times I feel fine. Apart from that heightened sensitivity to upset, I don't think I'm drastically different overall.

13. Is it worth it?
Worth it all and more

[LoveJ]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you? We've been together for about 5 months, and we're 2500 miles apart. He's in SE USA and I'm in NW Canada.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality? He's a very compassionate, loving, patient man who wants those around him to be happy. He's willing to put all of himself into what he loves. He's very artistic, talented and has a great sense of humour.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship? Not seeing each other regularly. Other modes of communication close the gap, but not having physical contact often makes missing the other person very difficult, and if a relationship is strong, that can be a very destructive force. LDRs seem to take more time and attention than "standard" relationships because you need to be a part of each other's lives from so far away, and you have to be dedicated to maintaining that.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR? Seeing each other after a long absence period is pretty amazing. Another advantage might be that the distance gives you the chance to really get to know someone without the physical side taking over. The fact that you need to constantly communicate can build a very strong emotional foundation and bond.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating? The only thing I find frustrating about it is that we can't be near each other every day. Maintaining it isn't frustrating at all; it's the miles in between us that are.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they? We don't really have any recurring issues; our situation is a little bit complicated and we're learning how to cope with it, and how to navigate through it together.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship? Communication, trust, respect, patience and love.

8. How important is trust? Extremely important, especially in an LDR; you're not there to be with your SO every day and know what their life is like every day other than what they tell you and what you've seen when there on vacation. Without trust, your mind can go to really bad places about what they're doing all day when you're not talking to each other, and that can cause a lot of problems.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it? At times, jealousy over our pasts and the fact that we both have one has come up. Not irrational jealousy, just being a bit miffed that we had people before we had each other, which is a hard thing for both of us sometimes. We just talk it over, and answer each other's questions if we have any, and remind each other that we can't change our pasts but that they are just that, the past.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance? Not in a negative way. The amount of time we spend talking closes the gap of any distance we feel emotionally. We talk about anything and everything, and are always telling each other how we feel about one another. The distance is what has allowed us to get so emotionally close.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart? We sing each other songs, write long emails about our feelings for each other, have just he and I quiet time every night, texting as much as we can, and talking whenever we get the chance too. We Skype every single night which really helps us feel closer.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO? I find myself more sad than usual when we have to go long stretches without seeing each other, and sometimes those bouts of sadness are pretty strong in that some days tears can come over nothing. I get a little aggravated sometimes when spontaneous things come up that prevent us from talking to each other for long stretches of time. But I'm also happier than I've ever been with him in my life, distance included, so in that regard everything in life is just a little bit sweeter.

13. Is it worth it? Every second of it is worth it. If it weren't, I wouldn't have found my husband.

[dglynn77]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you? just about 4 months / 236.75 miles for now. It will be much more when I leave for China
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality? friendly, funny, sweet
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship? Being apart when things go wrong, or when he is sick, and feeling helpless because there is NOTHING I can do besides worry... :/
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR. Yes! Some days I go without makeup just because I feel like it, or I don't shave my legs as often as I should... lol. Also, you HAVE to talk in an LDR, and you talk about anything and everything! I think it really helps you learn about each other and helps you get closer even though you are so far apart.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating? Frustrating - yes. Worth it - yes.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they? no
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship? trust, time together (at this point, texting/talking/skyping)
8. How important is trust? Most important
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it? Not yet... I'm a super jealous person so dealing with it would be really hard!!!
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance? I kind of feel like we are getting closer faster because of our LDR
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart? Texting, talking, emailing. Thinking about him. Finding things that I see everyday and "connecting" them to him in my mind so I am pretty much always thinking about him.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO? At separation, I am terribly sad.
13. Is it worth it? yes. yes. yes. a thousand times yes.

Thanks!

[dglynn77]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you? just about 4 months / 236.75 miles for now. It will be much more when I leave for China
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality? friendly, funny, sweet
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship? Being apart when things go wrong, or when he is sick, and feeling helpless because there is NOTHING I can do besides worry... :/
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR. Yes! Some days I go without makeup just because I feel like it, or I don't shave my legs as often as I should... lol. Also, you HAVE to talk in an LDR, and you talk about anything and everything! I think it really helps you learn about each other and helps you get closer even though you are so far apart.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating? Frustrating - yes. Worth it - yes.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they? no
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship? trust, time together (at this point, texting/talking/skyping)
8. How important is trust? Most important
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it? Not yet... I'm a super jealous person so dealing with it would be really hard!!!
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance? I kind of feel like we are getting closer faster because of our LDR
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart? Texting, talking, emailing. Thinking about him. Finding things that I see everyday and "connecting" them to him in my mind so I am pretty much always thinking about him.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO? At separation, I am terribly sad.
13. Is it worth it? yes. yes. yes. a thousand times yes.

Thanks!

[Moon]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
About three years, we're 4200 miles apart

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He's shy, funny, and very smart. He takes his responsibilities very seriously.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
The lack of time spent physically together.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
Yep! All of our time is spent communicating, we know each other so well. It also allows us to maintain some independence.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Not really, no. It's honestly easier than I imagined.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
No. Because of how much time we spend on communication, and our understanding of each other and ourselves, we compromise and get through the issue.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Respect, trust, honesty and communication.

8. How important is trust?
Very. No trust = No relationship. You just can't have a good relationship without it, and why would you want to?

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
No, actually. Neither of us would bother with an LDR if we spent the time being irrationally jealous. Huge waste of time.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Sometimes. There are days when you just want a hug more than anything, and no one there to give it to you. That's when I really feel the miles.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We talk about our daily lives, even the boring "what I made for dinner" chat. We take pics and videos of events, talk about things our friends are up to, discuss things we saw on TV, etc.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
I'm more lonely, naturally. But since we're usually separated, no, I'm just myself.

13. Is it worth it?
Of course, or why bother?

[enemey96]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We have been together for 9 months and we're 1,036 miles apart.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He is funny, caring, has a good sense of humour and cares about everyone who he loves.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Not getting to be with each other as often as most couples our age.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
You get to know the person a lot better and quicker because talking is the only main way of communication most of the time.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Sometimes, but it's worth it

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Not really and if there are we talk about them and sort them out.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Trust, communication, respect and honesty.

8. How important is trust?
Very very important, especially because usually you're away from your SO for quite a long period of time.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Nope.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Yes, but in a good way. I think that it's stronger and more powerful because we're so far apart.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We video call on Skype twice a day, once when he gets home from school, when we talk for an hour, and then just before I go to bed, which is normally 30 mins to an hour. We also send each other messages either on Viber (a free text messaging app) or we talk on MSN.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Yes, when we're together I'm much happier and I feel like I do a lot more.

13. Is it worth it?
Definitely

[kteire]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We've been together 23 months. We're about 300 miles apart now, but for the first year and a half we were 3700 miles apart.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He's very friendly, outgoing, laid back, competitive, and athletic. And he's fiercely loyal and ridiculously reliable.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Losing the physical side of the relationship. I don't necessarily mean sex, but my SO is a very physically affectionate person, and isn't always good at saying what he means. In person, I never have a shred of doubt about how much he loves me, and I can understand him so well through body language.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I guess for us it was an advantage when we were in our own home countries, because we could each have our own lives and be close to our family, while still being in a relationship with each other.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
No, not really. I am frustrated from time to time when I really wish I could just see him, but our relationship is very healthy and we're nuts about each other, so it's been easier than I'd expected.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
We haven't had many problems that recurred. We've had slight misunderstandings and issues here or there (not being online when we said we'd be, female friends going out of their way to alienate me) but as soon as either of us is upset, we fix it.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Communication and moderation. The first speaks for itself, but I think moderation is so important - not being completely reliant on your SO, and not sacrificing your CD friendships for your LD love. There always has to be a good balance of life and your SO!
8. How important is trust?
You can't have any healthy relationship with it, whether your SO lives across the street or across the ocean.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Yes, it has been about 3-4 times. If something happens that has made me jealous (Loic's not the jealous sort at all), I tell my SO, and we figure out how to deal with it. At his suggestion, he has had to tell a female friend or two that what they're doing is making both of us uncomfortable, and he's limited time with them.
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Definitely. It's much harder to read each other over skype, and we have such a strong physical connection that it's hard to not let the emotional side be a bit affected by the absence of contact! We do well over skype, but sometimes I find I forget how much I adore him until I see him waiting at the airport!
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We both keep busy, and talk as much as our lives will allow. We'll sometimes play games or watch shows together in order to feel closer, or do something simple like skype while we're lying in bed the same way that we do in person!
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
It was more noticeable when he and I were farther apart. We'd both be way more emotional and impulsive, because we'd have to say goodbye for several months at a time. Now it's usually 2 weeks between visits, so it doesn't change much!
13. Is it worth it?
He's the love of my life, so without a doubt

[carolynred]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We have been together for 9 months and 3 weeks. We are separated by 326 miles between Lubbock, TX and Everman, TX.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
Jacob (SO) is very calm and laid back, but he loves to play around and take care of others. He is VERY patient and rarely snaps in anger.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Keeping the separation from getting to your head. An LDR becomes difficult when emotions aren't in control. You have to fight regardless of the fact that your SO may not be with you.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
There is such a special bond in an LDR that I have never felt while in a close distance relationship. You're forced to know one another, to talk things out, and you truly appreciate all the things about your SO and ANY time that you get to spend with them.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Personally, I do not find it frustrating.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Jacob and I, thankfully, have not run into many issues with one another. The only one that will sometimes come up is when one of us doesn't hear our phone go off or something and we go for hours thinking the other just hasn't responded when they had. We both feel so guilty for not responding even though the other person is fine with the time gap. xD We tend to overreact on that, but we just talk it out and we're just fine.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Communication and never failing trust. Together, these two are the most powerful influences for the stability of a LDR. If you lack one, the relationship is almost impossible to keep up.
8. How important is trust?
Like stated above, it is EXTREMELY important. You cannot be a healthy LDR wondering if your SO is cheating on you the whole time. Trust is what keeps two people together regardless of the distance between them.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Naw, Jacob and I have never had to worry about that. We both have friends of the opposite gender and its no big deal.
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
I feel like intimacy is increased due to the distance. I tend to send him more lovey dovey messages because I am missing him so much when I go back to school. :3
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
I try to keep myself busy with school work and he works and goes to school. We text everyday and try to get in a few phone calls every week.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
The day he leaves/I leave I am a mess. Emotionally, I'm sad the whole day and when we separate, its difficult for me to focus on other things because I can only think of him. After a day or so, I'm back into my old routine though.
13. Is it worth it?
It has been, is, and will always be worth it.

[frompanthertomustang]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We have been together for about a year now, majority of it has been long distance. We're about 300 miles apart.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
My boyfriend is such a bag of contradictions, and it's what makes him (in my eyes) completely perfect. He's studying to be a Mechanical Engineer, so he's extremely logical and likes facts. However, he's also very in tune with his emotions, and very much a little kid at heart (he LOVES magic) and he is so genuine. He's overall what all the girls in high school considered "the sweet guy." <3

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
The hardest part for us has almost nothing to do with each other: it's other people. Seeing other happy couples around our respective campuses or around town is really hard on both of us. Like everyone else on LFAD, we just want to be closer!!

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I told myself in the beginning that I would be able to grow as a person and not have to worry about simply becoming one half of a couple. While I don't necessarily think this is true now, I do have more free time to spend with friends and both of us are able to branch out and make a lot of friends!

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
At times. I'm sure everyone will agree that there are good days and bad days. The distance is the frustrating part, not the relationship.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Unfortunately, I am the cause of most of our issues. Most of them stem from my over-protective nature. I'm constantly worried about his safety when he goes out (we're both in college and bad things have been known to happen on university campuses) and I am jealous of all the people that get to spend all of this time with him whilst I, his girlfriend and love, have to be separated from him.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
I actually completely agree with a thread that was posted a few days ago (forgive me, I don't remember who exactly posted it!) regarding the problem with the phrase "healthy relationship." My boyfriend and I talk every day: we text constantly throughout the day, have at least one phone conversation, and often Skype every night. Some of his friends (whom are also in LDRs) tease him about how much we talk and how "attached" we are. I don't think there is an ideal "healthy" relationship because, like almost everything else in life, it is absolutely relative. Whatever works for a specific couple is healthy for them.

8. How important is trust?
I don't think there are many people out there that would say it's not important. It's obviously extremely important, especially when you don't get to see them every day.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Yes, to some degree. Almost all of it is on my end. It wasn't necessarily jealousy of a girl who was hitting on him, but more of a jealously of the pretty girls he is in the company of every day. Like a lot of girls, I don't have the greatest self-esteem, but I am 100% confident in our relationship. To me, it's just most annoying when girls around him don't see me as a physical entity: I am not there, therefore, I do not exist. I've seen some of my friends convey that mentality about cute guys (with girlfriends) at parties we've been to. I know it exists, and that type of girls gets under my skin.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Not at all. I always feel close to him emotionally... we grew up together, we've been through relatively the same social situations since we were young. He's been with me through thick and thin-- distance does not affect that

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We talk a lot. We try to Skype every night. We develop interests outside of the relationship as well (mostly our Greek affiliations) and try to remain as much a "normal couple" through text and calling and Skype as possible!

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
As people on LFAD have surely mentioned, the time right after you leave/your SO leaves/you leave each other is the hardest of all. That's the biggest shift in our emotions. At this point in the relationship, it's the only time we ever cry over the distance.

13. Is it worth it?
There is no doubt about that. Yes.