ANY BODY WILLING TO HELP A STUDENT AND FELLOW LDR MEMBER WANTED !!!

[CynicalQuixotic]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
Just over 10 months. I'm in New York, he's in Paris, so we are 3,615 miles apart.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He's witty and sarcastic and funny. A bit on the shy side, but when he warms to you, he can talk about anything and everything. Incredibly intelligent and caring.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Dealing with the loneliness. I'm a very physical, touch-oriented person, so being physically apart for long periods of time is very difficult on me emotionally.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
Some, I guess. I can go out with my friends without feeling like I should be spending time with my SO. I have more time to concentrate on my studies (not that I use that time particularly wisely, though...)

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Only in that we're not physically together. Otherwise, I haven't found anything particularly difficult about communicating--we're both students so we're constantly on our computers, and can text each other for free because we both have the same phone. We are closing the distance in a few months, so, the end is in sight and it makes things so much easier.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
JP has a tendency to snap when he's angry and yell and has said hurtful things, but it's something he's aware of and is working to keep in check. I can be petty and a bit too blunt. We're both pretty sensitive people with shaky relationships with our parents, but, the overwhelming majority of the time we're very good at supporting each other. Even though I speak French well and he speaks English even better, we misinterpret each other sometimes, but that's usually easily resolved. We talk everything out and come to a solution.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Open, honest communication and respect.

8. How important is trust?
Essential. You can't be in a relationship with someone you don't trust.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Not really--JP was once at a party and met an American girl who didn't really speak French, and when she couldn't find a taxi home after the metro closed, he invited her up to his apartment until the metro opened in the morning. That bothered me a bit, but he told me about it as it was happening, I trust him, and I know he was just being nice. JP gets bristly the few times I've talked about my ex, but, he's never said anything about me going out with groups of friends of both genders. Jealousy isn't something that's really on our radar.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Not hugely. We make sure to talk on Skype often and it still gives me butterflies to look at him, and we discuss pretty much everything about our days. I lately have been frustrated and impatient about not being able to see him, and it makes me sad that we can't kiss each other good bye in the mornings or cuddle at night, but that will all happen very soon.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We talk constantly through the day, mostly through text or IM, about anything and everything. We send each other postcards and the occasional care package. We make goofy faces to each other on Skype and laugh and talk about our future together.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
I think both of us tend to get more upset over little things when we're separated. Otherwise, not really.

13. Is it worth it?
2,000%. He makes me so happy.

[Xanahtas]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
I've been with my SO for a year and 8 months, we are 3589 miles apart (I live in Norwich, UK, he lives in Toronto, Canada)

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
Funny, charmer, kind, caring, stubborn just all round bubbly and lovely

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Lack of physical contact in everyway, its always hard because when your feeling rubbish and you need a hug, they cant be there. Sucks big time.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR?
Yeah many We know each other better than most couples CD would by this time. And because we have to work at it its rewarding

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Nah not really. Not being able to see him annoys me but thats it :P

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Umm not really, just missing each other causes us to stress out and sometimes argue about silly things but nothing major

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Trust, communication, commitment, respect, honesty, love

8. How important is trust?
Its important in any relationship, but especially in a LDR. They're miles and miles away with no knowing what they could be up to. If you dont trust them you will argue about things and then eventually it'll all go pear shaped.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Not really, occasionally i guess but thats for silly reasons.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
In a good way yes, we are closer emotionally because we have to be to because we cant physically show it or even do it all the time if we cant skype. So we make the most of the time we have.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We skype every night, leave messages for each other, sometimes we draw things and plan future things together. We have our little ways

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
I get snappy with people sometimes because i miss him, often find myself crying for no reason. Sometimes find it hard to go about daily things after ive been used to him doing it with me. But i wouldnt say its a huge thing.

13. Is it worth it?
Yes, yes, yes, yes YES! Totally, i wouldnt be putting myself through this if not!

[lyonsgirl]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
1 year, 3 1/2 months. We're almost 800 miles apart (may increase to 950 in the near future).

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
My SO is grounded. He's the rock that keeps my head out of the clouds. He's a very logical thinker, so he keeps me in line when I get too ahead of myself.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Not being able to do the little things together. Like driving around in a car, or going grocery shopping, doing the dishes, etc.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
We talk so much more. Our conversations are completely honest and we rely completely on our words to get us through, not anything else.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Only because we can't share the little things together.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
I can't always say what I mean. Through text or email, my words get misinterpreted. Or I misinterpret them, so I will get mad for no reason.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Communication. LD or CD.

8. How important is trust?
I don't think you can have a relationship-no matter what kind (friendship, coworker, dating, marriage, parents, whatever.) without trust.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Only when he's hanging out with mutual friends. It's not a "I'm jealous of that girl" it's "I'm jealous you & our friends get to hang out." I tell him I'm bummed, and we talk through it.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Definitely. I honestly think we're closer in that sense than we were before we went LD, but that could be partly due to the fact we've been together longer now than we were then.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
Skype. When we were CD we would frequently show each other what we were looking at (while sitting next to each other) online, now we will spend an hour or so just sending links back and forth while we talk on Skype.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Yes. My SO knows how to calm me down/cheer me up. Since we're LD I have to actually tell him how I'm feeling, rather than him being able to read my face/body language/tone of voice.

13. Is it worth it?
Definitely. The only other option is to not be in a relationship with him, and tbh, that's just not an option.

[efish1042]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
I've been with him since April 1, 2009 and we are currently 428 miles apart. We've been LD a total of approx. 31 months, inconsistently.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He's pretty laid back and typically a really happy guy. He makes me laugh and smile. He's overly logical ("emotional range of a teaspoon" quote comes to mind, but that's exaggerating). He can seem quite callous, but once he really cares for someone, he will do almost anything for them.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
The lack of physical intimacy is always a bummer, but for a us, it's a little more so. My SO has trouble expressing himself verbally, so he conveys how much he cares with small gestures, little touches and caresses, and the like. So not having that has put a little strain on us. So that's communication and physical aspect... it doesn't makes trust an easy task, either.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I think it has brought us closer together overall, having to struggle to keep going. It's forced us to work on communication. It's been a good reason to focus on school, as it provides a distraction.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Of course? Being alone isn't easy. Being alone, knowing someone out there wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them, is even harder.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Communication and trust... always. Sometimes little things, sometimes bigger things, but trust and communication are never perfect.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Communication. Hope for the future, even if it's vague. Trust. Intimacy. Never giving up, no matter what.

8. How important is trust?
I've mentioned it at least three times already. I think it's important. Once it's lost it's hard to gain back, but (along the lines of never giving up) it CAN be regained slowly, but surely.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Not really. More of a situational thing -ie. I'm jealous of his brother's girlfriend because she can be there all the time and I can't, but I'm not worried about him cheating.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Yes. It's been forced to grow. You have to stick together to beat the odds, and that means sticking close... real close.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
Maintaining closeness and coping are two different things. I cope with distraction, but that doesn't improve our closeness. We maintain closeness by talking frequently about little things and occasionally having in depth discussions.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
I get really depressed for about a week after we separate. Then I get absorbed in my work. I'm much more self sufficient when we're separated. When we're together, I laugh and play easily, stress little, and lean on him for things just because he's there and is happy to be leaned on. I think he is the same.

13. Is it worth it?
Every now and then, it gets to me. The stress of separation, life, problems... the problem with giving your heart to someone else is that it is so easy to break and you're vulnerable. It can be pretty scary sometimes.
But I have never, not once thought that it wasn't worth it. I'd walk through hellfire for him.

[one-more-reason]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We've been together for just over a year. I'm in the US, he's in Australia, and there's about 10,205 miles between us.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He's very down to earth and level headed, very smart, and a big nerd. haha. he's incredibly caring, and though he's a bit shy, he's really goofy when he opens up. he's very comfortable with himself and sure of his decisions. he tends to kind of keep to himself but he has a few close friends and can be a partier when given the opportunity. :P

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
For us, we have between 14 and 16 hours of time difference, so it makes communication difficult. whenever it's early morning for one of us, it's evening for the other, so often we can't talk because one of us has class or one of us has made plans with other friends. besides time differences, communication can be a bit difficult because we're both in school so I feel like we often run out of things to say, and that would not be a problem if we were together in person because at least we could watch a movie or do something else. but really, the hardest part is simply missing their presence, missing cuddling with them before going to sleep, just doing little every day activities together. and the physical aspect of the relationship. you don't really realize how much a simple hug can mean until you don't get to hug that person for six months.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
you have to develop a sense of trust and communication really quickly, because that's what a LDR is all about. those are good skills to form right away though, because if you don't have them, your relationship is not going to work. LDRs also force you to think about the future, and as important as it is to take things a day at a time, thinking about the future is important because it really makes you think about where your SO is going to fit in to your life. another advantage is that when you're together again, you won't take each other for granted because you know how hard life is without them!

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
it's actually not as bad as I anticipated. the first two weeks or so of separation is the hardest, but eventually you learn to cope. it'll be wonderful to be together permanently, but in the meantime you just have to look at the positives and think of fun things to do together despite the distance.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
nope, we don't really have any recurring problems. any small issues we've had we've been able to work through very quickly.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
trust, communication, respect, and definitely a sense of humor so you can laugh at each other and not take things too seriously. also in a LDR, a goal to be together permanently is incredibly important

8. How important is trust?
trust is the most important thing! you wouldn't have a relationship without it.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
jealousy has been an issue on my part a few times, because I tend to be insecure. but whenever it's been a worry, I always talk to him about it, and he always reassures me that I'm the only one he wants. he's gone out of his way a few times to show this to me, so it's become much less of a problem. I'm thankful he's always showing me he cares again and again, I'd be a mess if he didn't. and on his end, he's totally confident in me, which is a good feeling. I'm glad he trusts me so fully.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
a little bit? sometimes we'll be having a really intense conversation and I'd give anything to give him a hug or a kiss and I just can't, and that hurts. I guess it's like physical closeness just gives closure to the emotional things? like if we're chatting online, typing "goodnight babe, I love you" doesn't feel as real as saying it in person and giving it closure with a kiss. I don't want our relationship to feel forced or become routine, which is sometimes a concern with talking online so frequently.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
talking all the time! even though the time difference sucks, we try to make a point of being online to say goodnight and good morning to each other, even if we don't get to talk throughout the rest of the day. we skype every three days or so, and our skype dates are always at least two hours long, so we dedicate a good amount of time to each other. we'll send each other pictures, like if I'm feeling cute I might send him a picture of my outfit for the day. if he finds something funny online, he'll send it to me and I can look at it when I wake up. we watch tv shows together and play games online.

also, when we were together in person we did things like getting stuffed animals together, making painted handprints for each other, I gave him a "love knows no distance" bracelet from this site and he gave me a really pretty ring... just having things around you that your SO gave you or that you got together is really comforting.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
I find myself more motivated to do things like work out, because I always want to be better for him each time I see him. I also get more emotional about things when I'm not with him, like if I hear a love song or see two people hugging, I'll get all teary eyed and sometimes I'll just cry for no reason. :P

13. Is it worth it?
completely. there's no way I'd go through this if I didn't think we were going to last through it. I know he's the best person for me right now and I'd rather wait for him than be with someone who might be closer, but who wouldn't make me feel as happy or loved.

[bigmac62]

How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We have been together for a little over four and a half years, at about 250 miles apart.

Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
She's a very nice person, but kind of shy. She makes friends easily, however, and while indifferent about some things, is always willing to try new things.

What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Saying goodbye, no question.

Are there any advantages to a LDR?
The lovey-dovey times are hundreds of times better. :-)

Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
At times, because there are incredibly lonely times where neither of you can talk or be together.

If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Not really.

What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Never let them forget how much you love them. :-)

How important is trust?
Very important.

Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Never.

Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Sometimes, but never so severe that it has pushed a wedge between us.

How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
Mainly with the hobbies I had before I started dating her: reading, writing, video games, and so on.

Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Somewhat, but I don't let it affect me too much, most of the time.

Is it worth it?
Absolutely. If it's someone you love, anything you do is absolutely worth it.

[Sora1101]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you? I've been with my SO almost 3 years, I think it's about 2 years and 8 months, we're 2279 miles apart.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality? Oh boy...sarcastic and devious but extremely sweet and funny, sensitive, intelligent, stubborn and somewhat lazy.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship? Only being able to see my SO once a year for a couple of days, it's hard to deal with being separated from him for so long, trying to deal with emotional problems and all you want is for them to be there and they aren't.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR. You get to know each other on such a deeper and more emotional level, all you have is communication and you use it, I've learned so much more about my SO in a few short months that I thought was possible, the connection of mutual longing and yet suffering from being apart just seems to cement a very strong connection. Knowing that your SO is willing to suffer though heartache and loneliness for you is such a great feeling.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating? Some days more than others, usually after you've been doing it for awhile it becomes an easy routine and yet other days the distance feels like it's ripping you apart and then you get frustrated knowing there's really nothing you can do.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they? Yeah the only real problems we seem to have are reoccurring, it's all about wanting to see each other more but being unable to afford it, when and how we're going to close the distance after our plans fell through but other than that the little problems settle themselves after discussing them once.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship? Communication, trust, and understanding.
8. How important is trust? Extremely important, you can't be there to make sure your SO is doing or not doing what they say they are, you have to trust that they aren't sleeping around, or what have you. If you can't trust them there is no way a LDR would work.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it? Definitely, honestly I'm jealous of everyone around my SO, friends, boys and girls, coworkers, because they get to see my SO when I can't, I know and trust he would never cheat on me so that's not really an issue but I always feel like someday he's going to realize he wants to be with someone he could be with everyday. There really isn't a way to deal with it, you just have to suck it up and remind yourself that your SO chose you and therefore wouldn't be looking at/for anyone else.
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance? Honestly I think it's only strengthened from the distance, because I can be my self over text/IM I don't have to hide what I'm really feeling, I can share intimate details about my life because I don't have to be ashamed about what I feel about them where as with people I know in person I never open up, I hardly just let loose and be myself. We share everything with each other because that's the only way we can bond, he's there for me whenever I need a shoulder to cry on and I'm there for him whenever he needs to vent and release stress.
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart? Constant contact, we text for hours and he calls me every day so I can hear his voice, we use webcams so that we can see each other and express all the things we want to do but can't through text.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO? Definitely, when I'm not with my SO I feel a lot less happy, it's not that I become depressed without him but I just feel like a part of me is missing, I smile a lot less, and I've always had a hard time remembering to take care of myself even before my SO and I got together so when my SO isn't around to remind me to eat or drink I often go a long time before I remember.
13. Is it worth it? Always, my SO is such an amazing person it would have been silly not to give him a chance, and once we got together we've helped each other grow in such big ways, he's the one I love and I will never let anything lessen my chances of being with him, just seeing him smile reminds me of exactly how much he is worth it.

[Phantomrose]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
I have been with my SO for about five years now (this is going to be the fifth year come the fall). We are about 3370 miles apart; I am from the USA and he is from England.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
My SO is laid back, and likes to joke around. He likes to make people laugh, and can be very outgoing. He knows how to make a bad situation turn good, and lighthearted, and knows how to talk to people. He is friendly, and will offer a helping hand. If you annoy him enough however, or anger him, he can become a bit distant.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
I think the hardest aspect in maintaining a long distance relationship... is that we cannot really be physically intimate with each other. We cannot hug, or kiss... but we do try to find other ways, using words, and saying "I love you" and pour out our feelings to each other.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I believe you get to know the person's personality more, and there is some type of openness in communication with the relationship. Since the main part of maintaining a long distance relationship is communication, and trying to spend time with each other by other means, My husband and I tend to talk about almost anything, whether it be about gaming, how we view the future, or just random things. I can also agree that a strong connection is also present in an LDR.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Sometimes it is frustrating keeping it, other times it isn't. I find it best to focus on the positive of the relationship, rather than the negative. Usually that gives me less frustrating thoughts, and gives me hope about the future and finally closing the distance.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
So far, the only problems are just little arguments here and there, but we quickly talk about our feelings, and try to resolve the problem as soon as possible.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
The key to a healthy relationship is honesty, and good communication with your partner, as well as trust.

8. How important is trust?
Trust is extremely important; I believe that you have to have trust for each other to keep the relationship (any relationship, really) going.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Jealousy has not really been an issue in my relationship. There are occasional times I do get jealous when he is out with his friends, or family, but I make due by going out with my own friends and having a good time.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
I believe that I am very emotionally close to my SO, and I think part of it has to do with the distance. We use Skype to communicate, and try to use the webcam, and the voice chat on Skype, when we can. When we use those devices, I feel that, in some way, we are closer together, and form some type of emotional bond, no matter what we are doing. For example, we may be doing our separate things, but mentally, we are still emotionally connected, or linked (hope that does not sound crazy! lol).

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We play MMORPGs together, watch film and tv shows together, use the cam and voice chat... mainly those type of things. It helps maintain the "closeness."

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
After a visit is done, I do tend to get depressed for a bit; it takes me about a week to adjust to being separated once again, but then I usually feel fine, once I get into the same old routine again.

13. Is it worth it?
I believe that it is definitely worth it for my SO, or else I wouldn't be married to him, lol! From the day we confessed our feelings to each other, we had some sort of weird belief that we were destined for each other, like it was some kind of fate. I am glad to be together with him now, and look forward to the day we finally close the distance (hopefully next year!). He has helped me through a lot, and we did have some ups and downs together, but it is all worth it.

[amarie]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We've been together for about 3.5 months. We are 2700 miles apart.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He's a extremely kind and intelligent. Very motivated. He's a bit on the shy side but it's adorable. He has a great sense of humor.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Not being able to see each other for sure. We have many small miscommunications due to texting and not exactly getting the intended tone or inflection.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I'd say if I dig deep for one it would be possible allowing either party to get school done and maintain their set schedule all the while getting to know the person for exactly who they are...no physical distractions.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Of course.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
No problems so far...
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Being honest and open. Communication! Unconditional positive regard
8. How important is trust?
Extremely
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Not really
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
No. I feel so close to him emotionally
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We talk/skype everyday. Text throughout the day. Talk about what we look forward to in our future together.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
I do...right after he left to go back home I felt really emotionally needy and 'touchy' -- i over analyzed everything
13. Is it worth it?
A million times YES

[Lilly9886]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?

We are together 2 years and about 5 months, we've been CD for about 16 months during our relationship, and we are about 6000 miles apart (he lives in México, I live in Austria, Europe)

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?

My bf is funny, smart, determined, sweet, loving, caring, .... he is just perfect to me.. we have a lot in common.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?

Spending enough time together, because of the time difference and our work/study schedules we can not talk very much during the week..

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.

The moments you look forward to. Days that normally would be just "good" can be exciting and special when you DO get to spend them together and you appreciate them more (birthdays, Christmas, Easter, ...)

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?

Sometimes you just miss the other person too much, and it's frustrating not to be able to hold them.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?

I think that's pretty much like in a CD relationship.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?

For me and my bf it is the 24h skype, if possible, or at least hours at a time.. just spending time together, even if we don't talk all the time and do our own things, it reminds me of living together...

8. How important is trust?

Very important!
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?

I think the worst jealousy was the first 6 month of LD, it all got so much better after we lived together for a year and I got to know his family, friends, classmates,... since then it really hasn't been an issue anymore really..

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?

No, it even gets deeper every time we see each other again or we are separated again.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?

Talking with him, messaging with him, every chance we get... telling each other about our days... everything... also we are sleeping "together" (or in front of each other on skype) - that feels really close...

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?

hm... well, not really.. but I'm definitely in a better mood and happier when I'm with him.

13. Is it worth it?

Yes and yes and yes. With him, definitely!!

[Shepard-Fowkes]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We've been together 1 year and 1 months. We live 5177 miles apart.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
My SO is a sweet and sensitive nerd. He's very intelligent and can talk for hours about anything he is passionate about. He puts his all into everything he does. My SO pays a lot of attention (sometimes too much attention) to emotions. He also has an amazingly versatile sense of humor that varies from the driest sarcasm to just plain goofiness.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
The hardest part of an LDR is dealing with not being able to touch each other. We as humans are wired to express our love by touching people: hugging, kissing, holding hands, having sex, cuddling. It's really rough on a relationship when that element is removed.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I'd definitely say so. Being in an LDR forces you to learn to communicate. Taking away the physical parts of communication means that we have to be both creative and clear with how we express ourselves. We have to find creative ways to show each other that we love each other without touching and without just saying the words "I love you" over and over. We also have to be a lot more clear, precise, and careful with our communication. We can't just assume that the other person knows that we mean.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
It can be at times.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Our problems tend to be failures in communication, like yelling when we disagree or not listening to each other or being offensive without realizing it.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Communication, genuine love for each other, and both the desire and drive to fight through adversity.
8. How important is trust?
Vital. This is true for every relationship, though.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Jealousy doesn't really come up too often with us. On the rare occasions that it does come up, we just remind each other that we're priorities in each others' lives.
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
I think that our intimacy is increased by the distance. It means that we have to fight for this and want this more than anything.
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
The most important way that we show that we love each other is by spending a lot of quality time with each other. We can watch videos together or play games or do schoolwork/work work. But the most important thing we do during our time together is to just talk. We've talked to each other for over a year, every single day, for hours at a time, and we still haven't run out of things to talk about.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
We're both a LOT more sensitive and we both kind of take it for granted that we're together.
13. Is it worth it?
A better question would be, "Is he worth it?" And the answer to that would be yes.

[charly]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?

This summer we are one year together. He lives in Sweden, I love in Holland, so that´s about 1200 km. I´m so so happy there are many cheap ways to visit him, and since I´m currently not studying, I can visit him often.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?

He is very kind, has a good sense of humor, is very bright and smart, has great political ambition, is slightly nerdy, very sportive, very social, and responsible.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?

No touching, less contact, no part of every day little things, no shoulder to cry on, and that o so familiar skype (which is a great way to stay in touch, but being back to a skype relationship all the time is just shitty!)
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.

We really chose for each other. We both know we want each other so badly, that being apart most of the time is worth it. And it gives you a lot of time to keep up with your own friends, hobby's, work, school, etc.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?

YES! Lot of day's it's just hard to keep on going, but that moment we kiss each other again makes it all worth it. We don't really have much issues, like jealousy or mis communication. But ofcourse, there are always the bad days, where you just wonder whyyyy you do this all to yourself.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?

The only problem we have had so far, is his lack of texting me, or messaging me. I interpreted as if he was not interested enough to just send me something, while he just didn't think about it (since we were going to speak each other trough skype anyway that evening)
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?

Absolute trust. I think LDR is impossible without. No secrets, and never let things unspoken.
8. How important is trust?

See 7, I think trust is most important. Without you're just not able to keep a LDR, I mean, my SO likes to spend time with girls, while most of my friends are guys. We started of very good luckily: 3 weeks after we met, I went living at his apartment for a month. So that way we really builded up a good base, and I met all the important people in his live.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?

No, thank god
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?

I feel closer with my SO. With former boyfriends I never really spoke out all my thoughts, I saw them everyday, so only the everyday things passed in our conversations. Now we talk more about how we feel, how we are going to manage to be apart, I feel more a part of his live.
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?

skype, skype and more skype. We talk a lot, laugh a lot, watch movies together, make plans. We have sort of silently agreed to not do anythink sexual, no pictures, or anything, just because we both only feel more lonely afterwards.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?

yes, I'm more emotional, quicker bored, can often not really find my way during the days, and constantly longing to talk to him.
13. Is it worth it?

Absolutely!

[iakai]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?

Been together for 4 years and 2 months! We have been LD for 3 years and 8 months.
We are 7359 miles apart.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?

He's quirky, hardworking, outgoing, social, and very responsible.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?

I believe the hardest part is getting the hurt/sad emotions to subside after we have to leave each other after visits. It just leaves my heart aching as I try to adjust to the daily alone life.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.

Yes, there are. I learned the importance of effective communication, whereas sometimes during CDR it's easy to let things slide or kept them hidden, until it's too late and people realize they haven't been communicating at all. Getting to visit SO in a different country also makes for super amazing new experiences/memories too

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?

It's cyclical, sometimes I feel like it's a breeze. It's a nice routine, scheduled communication. Sometimes I find it so taxing that I can't reach over and hug him.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?

No, we have learned to work through our problems and we don't really have "reoccurring problems"

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?

Communication, even the little things.

8. How important is trust?

So very important, in my opinion it's better to end a relationship without trust than go on and poison each others' lives with suspicion.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?

Yes, it has been an issue, mostly in the early stages of our LDR. After communicating about it and over time we learned to have faith and absolute trust in each others' self control.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?

Yes, sometimes I can feel distant for a while if I feel like he "doesn't get it". This will pass with due affection and mushy-ness

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?

He is busy in school with all sort of activities. And I go to work, so apart from my work routine which takes up most of my time, we have a skype routine, usually around once a week - our communication time. As for "coping", I try not to think about sad thoughts (like leaving at the airport) too much.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?

Yes, I'm quite emotional, reading/seeing/hearing about anything MILDLY touching or heart warming can bring tears to my eyes so easily. It's like I turned into a giant mush-ball since going LDR. It's kind of ridiculous.

13. Is it worth it?

It's worth it because we're in love.

[BlueCat]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We have been together online for 7 years (5 1/2 since we first met in person). We are approximately 10030 miles apart (Adelaide, Australia to Florida)

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
My SO is a really smart person. He can be pretty shy with people he doesn't know. But he makes a lot of jokes, they're mostly lame jokes that I would call "dad" jokes, lol. But often they really help to cheer me up, which he also does by being cute and silly. When he sets his mind to something, he gets very determined to make it work/happen and has always been a solid rock for our relationship, being very supportive of me. He is really very kind-hearted, and I'm not even saying that because he's my SO, he genuinely is kind-hearted.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
For me, two things. Being able to look at the future, and not focus on the present when separated. The missing physical contact is also a challenge, and I don't mean sexually. For me physical contact is reassurance and communication of his love for me. Anytime he touches me, whether it be putting his arm around me, touching my arm as he walks past, holding my hand etc. really communicates a deep connection and feeling of love to me. When we're apart, I can only describe it as feeling physical pain from the absence of that contact.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I suppose the biggest advantage is simply that it enabled me to travel and see a part of the world that I otherwise probably wouldn't have. In addition to that, I would have to say that we communicate pretty well, because you have to to make it work.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
At times, yes. Mostly the frustration of distance and life obstacles that get in the way of plans for visits etc.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
We've had problems, most of them are personal as opposed to being related to the issue of distance. Money is always a problem, haha, but we don't argue about it. I suppose from my end, I have the problem that I can feel like I'm not a priority in his life. For example, sometimes our scheduled conversations may not happen because of plans that come up with friends/family, or because he's decided to do something else. But I have to try and accept that for what it is, that we're currently living separate lives and it's hard to always co-ordinate something like that.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Communication and compromise. Without communication, long distance falls apart. And you need to compromise on visits, money, between real life events and online talking etc.

8. How important is trust?
Huge. If you don't trust, it simply eats away at you. I've often been asked "how do you know he's not cheating on you?" and I always simply say that I just know, because I trust him.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Yes it has. We've both stated to each other when we've been jealous, getting it out in the open helps to talk about it and determine why you are jealous, and can help to resolve or manage the issue because you can compromise and try to prevent triggering it.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
In some ways yes, in others, no. We're still just as close emotionally, but it's harder to feel a part of each other's lives.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
Talk on skype as often as we can. I try to keep myself busy so that I don't think about it too much. And we also text each other almost every day.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Yes, I get stressed and down easily when we're separated. Though I also find that at times I can be much more productive because I'm trying to find things to distract myself. But I sometimes do fall into a bit of a heap, and feel depressed about pretty much everything. I find it hard to stay positive, especially when we don't have a specific time frame for our separation. It's harder to look forward to something when you don't know when it is.

13. Is it worth it?
Yes. Hard, but worth it.

[ChibiFelicia]

1. How long have you been with your SO?
How far apart are you? 3 years. 5300 miles. Im from the UK, he's from US, CA
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
Laid back, strong, funny, silly, mature, wise, considerate, loyal, sarcastic, attentive and caring.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
not being able to physically be there through the sad and happy times.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
I get to go to CA xD
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
I dont find keeping it going frustrating. The distance is frustrating.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
We had problems with setting times to communicate initially and that kept changing due to work and the time differences. Either one of us would end up on little sleep and end up being cranky. We've sorted those problems out though.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Trust, communication, being able to make compromises, honesty, dont take each other for granted and always keep working at it.
8. How important is trust?
If trust isnt there, the relationship would end.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
No
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
I think the distance helped us become emotionally close a lot faster
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
Knowing that it is only temporary. We will be together again soon. We like to take the long view. Although i do have my "i wanna cry cause he's not here" days. We just keep communicating via skype and games.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
The first few days of coming home im a mess. Im not myself. Im needy, im sad i find it difficult to concentrate on anything. After that im myself again.
13. Is it worth it?
If it wasn't i wouldn't be in this relationship.