Advice Desperately Needed: 5 months, LDR Cheating/Unfortunate Circumstances
I could really use some advice and comfort right now. As I type this, I'm crying and all to pieces.
I've been talking to a guy online for 5 months now, literally every day. We Skype, text, and hardly miss a moment together. From the beginning, I've been aware that Tyler has a girlfriend.
I have continued to deal with the situation, despite our distance and limited times to talk because I've fallen head over heels for him. He, however, lives in the Netherlands, and I'm here in VA.
We have grown really close as friends and have shared intimate, personal thoughts that he has never shared with his girlfriend. I suppose I've given him the benefit of the doubt because he's told me that she's the complete opposite of him and has never been IN LOVE with her. He has been with her for 5 years, and I understand the fear of burning a bridge only to find out some girl in Virginia is not what he's looking for. However, I've had a problem knowing that he's going to bed with another woman every night, sleeping with her, and telling her god-knows-what. It's never really been an issue, as I always brushed it off despite the ache inside, wondering how I'm supposed to learn to trust him if we're involved in infidelity. I do believe most of what he says, but inevitably, it's mixed messages.
I have wanted so badly to meet him in order to really understand more of what our relationship is about, assuming and sticking to the idea that it would really be the turning point for our relationship, as far as him staying or leaving her, our intimacy, etc.
Today, I had an unfortunate turnaround in this situation. I told him that I slept with my ex, who I've known and been very close to for 5 years. This made him upset. He told me that it turned him off that I would do that and that I am impulsive and a recipe for drama. I am now sitting in the silence of his cold shoulder and trying to understand why he is so upset and seemingly unforgiving. I told him that this whole situation (with him having a gf) is a recipe for drama, and if he wants to avoid it, he should get out of it. He told me I was right and maybe we shouldn't talk anymore. But we've been down this road before, trying to let go because it's all morally wrong. Too confusing.
Advice, please! Should he be angry that I slept with my ex? Is it really over? What would you do if you were me in this situation? I cannot and do not want to let him go. I apologized and feel terribly helpless right now.
I've been talking to a guy online for 5 months now, literally every day. We Skype, text, and hardly miss a moment together. From the beginning, I've been aware that Tyler has a girlfriend.
I have continued to deal with the situation, despite our distance and limited times to talk because I've fallen head over heels for him. He, however, lives in the Netherlands, and I'm here in VA.
We have grown really close as friends and have shared intimate, personal thoughts that he has never shared with his girlfriend. I suppose I've given him the benefit of the doubt because he's told me that she's the complete opposite of him and has never been IN LOVE with her. He has been with her for 5 years, and I understand the fear of burning a bridge only to find out some girl in Virginia is not what he's looking for. However, I've had a problem knowing that he's going to bed with another woman every night, sleeping with her, and telling her god-knows-what. It's never really been an issue, as I always brushed it off despite the ache inside, wondering how I'm supposed to learn to trust him if we're involved in infidelity. I do believe most of what he says, but inevitably, it's mixed messages.
I have wanted so badly to meet him in order to really understand more of what our relationship is about, assuming and sticking to the idea that it would really be the turning point for our relationship, as far as him staying or leaving her, our intimacy, etc.
Today, I had an unfortunate turnaround in this situation. I told him that I slept with my ex, who I've known and been very close to for 5 years. This made him upset. He told me that it turned him off that I would do that and that I am impulsive and a recipe for drama. I am now sitting in the silence of his cold shoulder and trying to understand why he is so upset and seemingly unforgiving. I told him that this whole situation (with him having a gf) is a recipe for drama, and if he wants to avoid it, he should get out of it. He told me I was right and maybe we shouldn't talk anymore. But we've been down this road before, trying to let go because it's all morally wrong. Too confusing.
Advice, please! Should he be angry that I slept with my ex? Is it really over? What would you do if you were me in this situation? I cannot and do not want to let him go. I apologized and feel terribly helpless right now.
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