So... My partner's wanting to spoil me for my birthday (June), and by spoil, I mean spoil:
And it's beautiful, but it's around 100.00 and maybe it's me? But it seems like a lot of money. :/
He says that it's not, that he likes spoiling me, and that my birthday gift, shipping and all, was around the same amount last year, but last year he wasn't out on his own and the legal guardian of his brother. Last year, though he helped managed the finances (oftentimes alone), he was not the provider of the finances. And while I don't want to demand he not do something for me, a part of me would feel guilty for accepting such an expensive present when it's not even a sum of money he has to spend on himself.
I did talk to him about it and said that I feel like 100.00 is a lot of money. He said that it's not. I said that I would feel awkward having him buy me something so pretty and nice, and he said that he would love me to have a ring to wear that not only reminded me of him and our commitment but that was from him as well. I said that I would be happy with a card and for him to make me a cake when I get there, and he said that he likes spoiling me. I wasn't sure what to say at that point, so the conversation more or less fizzled out. :P But he was fairly insistent about it.
I have considered suggesting that maybe he put the money towards an activity. There's this Hawk Walk that's on the other side of Ireland that I would really love to do, so I considered maybe having him use that money towards allowing him to do it as well so that we can both afford it/have fun with it. I have also considered maybe suggesting we stay a night in a hotel or go see a movie and have dinner with the money. But I won't lie, there's a part of me that's absolutely in love with the ring, the idea of it, and all that it symbolises. It's simply the idea that he'd be spending so much on me without getting anything in return. :/ I mean sure, I brought him here, paid for his plane fare and covered most of the trip, but I got a visit out of it. I guess I have a hard time letting myself be spoiled, but I'd have less of a hard time if it were money he had laying around to spend on himself.
What would you do in the situation? Accept it? Reject it? Ask it to be put towards something else?
And it's beautiful, but it's around 100.00 and maybe it's me? But it seems like a lot of money. :/
He says that it's not, that he likes spoiling me, and that my birthday gift, shipping and all, was around the same amount last year, but last year he wasn't out on his own and the legal guardian of his brother. Last year, though he helped managed the finances (oftentimes alone), he was not the provider of the finances. And while I don't want to demand he not do something for me, a part of me would feel guilty for accepting such an expensive present when it's not even a sum of money he has to spend on himself.
I did talk to him about it and said that I feel like 100.00 is a lot of money. He said that it's not. I said that I would feel awkward having him buy me something so pretty and nice, and he said that he would love me to have a ring to wear that not only reminded me of him and our commitment but that was from him as well. I said that I would be happy with a card and for him to make me a cake when I get there, and he said that he likes spoiling me. I wasn't sure what to say at that point, so the conversation more or less fizzled out. :P But he was fairly insistent about it.
I have considered suggesting that maybe he put the money towards an activity. There's this Hawk Walk that's on the other side of Ireland that I would really love to do, so I considered maybe having him use that money towards allowing him to do it as well so that we can both afford it/have fun with it. I have also considered maybe suggesting we stay a night in a hotel or go see a movie and have dinner with the money. But I won't lie, there's a part of me that's absolutely in love with the ring, the idea of it, and all that it symbolises. It's simply the idea that he'd be spending so much on me without getting anything in return. :/ I mean sure, I brought him here, paid for his plane fare and covered most of the trip, but I got a visit out of it. I guess I have a hard time letting myself be spoiled, but I'd have less of a hard time if it were money he had laying around to spend on himself.
What would you do in the situation? Accept it? Reject it? Ask it to be put towards something else?
My family and I went through a few years of poverty, nearly became homeless, and since, I have had such a difficult time accepting anything from anyone.
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