Honeymoon's Over

[Haley53]

I have recently been in a position where I'm able to spend more time away from the computer (working, leisure classes, etc.) and not fret about the state of my relationship. I am also able to step away from the computer for more time, such as for my 2-3 hour marathon training group as opposed to passing it up because I want to spend as much time as possible with my partner. He encourages me to do these things, and is also able to go out with friends, do his own thing on the computer, etc. and still be more or less secure in our relationship.

I am certainly happy with the arrangement - especially given all he went through and what sacrifices I made during that time, it has been nice to live and do things for me - but it's an odd one. :P After I managed to get over the intial guilt/conflict of being away x-amount of time at a time, though I'll admit it still surfaces sometimes, I really have not felt negatively about our arrangement at all. We might not get as much time with one another, but we still make time to Skype and the quality of our conversations is still present. Even if we may not be bursting with sweet nothings and soppy affections, we're still tender and affectionate with one another and make the other feel cared about. I am fully aware that this means we have fully left the honeymoon stage and perhaps entered the comfortable stage, but I can't say there's much to complain about. I get to do more things for me that bring me pleasure, I still get to spend time with my SO, and the both of us are completely secure in our relationship. I will admit that it's strange to think about it, though, how one can go from being glued to the computer to being comfortable enjoying your own life still knowing in the back of your mind that you'll get to talk and that all won't fall apart if you leave it be for a few hours.

So... how did you feel when you left the honeymoon stage? Did you find it strange, or was it more comfortable? Were you worried that it was abnormal or that you were losing feelings? What was your experience with it?

[blankita719]

Considering how long we've known each other, I don't feel like we ever had much of a honeymoon aspect to our relationship...well, I take that back because yes, initially there was a spark of definitely something different between the two of us. But for the most part, we've just carried on like we're an old married couple - who just happen to live 1,423 miles apart from one another.

Personally, I find this comforting. I'm not worried about the guessing games or when it's all new and you worry that if you say one tiny thing wrong it will ruin everything. We know each other better than that. Do I miss some of the shiny new feeling? Yes, but in the long run this feeling is the one that will keep me sane. I have no worries about his love for me and he has none about mine for him. It's a good place to be for me.

[kiara_silver]

We have been together about three years, but the majority of it has been LD. Im not sure what stage were in. I at times feel were in the comfortable stage, we don't have to impress each other and are happy and able to do things apart. But I still have the want and need to talk to him when I can. I think maybe im trying to hold onto staying in the honeymoon stage? He still does the romantic gestures, and stays on late to talk to me. Is still affectionate and loving, But he knows he has me, and doesn't have to woo me.

I think the LD part has helped keep our relationship still where we long to talk more. and maybe him being my first and only bf has played a part too, where there's no comparing its all new, every step we take. But I am very aware that the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever. And I see with the couples in my family, and im always getting told advice and opinions. (Weather I want it or not lol) So part of me is determined to try to hold onto it as long as I can. I don't want to stop trying to show him my affection, I don't want him to forget his daily verbal I love you's. I love being comfortable around each other, but I love the butterflies he can give me, and the excitement I sometimes still get in my tummy when he logs online. I don't want it to fade yet. I want him to be excited that im on still, and miss me if i forget to write. Maybe im still stuck in young love?

[Kiyama]

Interesting question. I don't think we've ever had that's kind of honeymoon stage. We spend our "honeymoon" cd and our communication pattern hasn't changed much since we entered the ldr. We both work full time and with time difference we have never been able to spend much time in front of the computer do we've always had enough time for ourselves. Too much for me sometimes

But we are definitely in the comfortable stage, which is nice. Sometimes I miss the excitement from the start but our current status has many more advantages.

[Moon]

Honestly, I don't think about it much, having been in many relationships at this point in my life, I just know what to expect, I guess. As much as I like the "honeymoon stage" feeling, I think I like the regular life feeling better. It's real. Plus you can get back to doing all the necessary things that need to be done without all the distraction, and you're pretty used to each other at this point, so you are getting back to who you really are without being on your best behavior all the time. I hope that makes sense, I'm not sure it does

[kteire]

My SO and I are definitely out of the honeymoon stage, and I'd say we have been for a good while now! Like you, I have had no negative feelings about it (other than a bit of guilt initially!), and it's nice to have more me-time. I didn't really worry much when we stopped being crazy head-over-heels, staying up talking all night, in love. It was definitely a gradual change, and I was kind of relieved, haha. It was amazing when we were in that stage, but it was a bit difficult to get things done, because he was ALWAYS in the foreground of my thoughts, and we'd spend ALL of our free time talking!!

We're comfortable, but we're still completely happy, and I'd say even happier now! I think we've found a better balance of our own lives and each other. I know so many people that had a complete re-evaluation of everything once they got out of the honeymoon stage, and were kind of like, will I never have butterflies and first kisses again? I expected that, but I guess none of that has really bothered me. I'm just very lucky to have my boy!!

[kirbycat]

Maybe this is odd, but I feel like I'm in that same place that Eclaire described - of being able to step away from my computer and continue life without worrying about our relationship - and my SO and I have only been together for about a month. I've never felt myself to be in the "honeymoon stage." And given our history, I've been very confident about his feelings for me from the beginning; it wasn't so much that I was discovering that whole new emotional aspect, but rather that I was opening myself to it and reciprocating it. We've also known each other for years, so I suppose we've already established that level of familiarity and trust, similar to what blankita719 said.

I do think my SO is very much in the honeymoon stage, though. Having my affection is still a new thing for him (he liked me for a long time before I fell for him), and I can tell he's still in that stage of excitement. He'll also mention missing me, or wishing I was there to share something with him, or expressing disappointment when we have to miss a Skype date or something - whereas I typically don't. Not that I don't ever miss him, of course, but I don't feel a need to be expressing it all the time. It is something I'm trying to do more of, though.

[Rugger]

I'm not going to lie, I'm struggling with leaving the honeymoon phase. I miss feeling butterflies every time I saw him, I miss the newness. I guess I'm just adjusting to this, but it feels wrong and weird. Any tips guys?

[Zapookie]

I'm not sure if we've left the honey moon stage. We talk almost every day (and its my favourite part of the day!), we still are very lovey-dovey, but we are also very comfortable with each other, and I guess we don't wear rose-coloured glasses when it comes to there being any issues.

[Dauntedpoet]

I know it sounds strange, after so many years, but I still get excited every time I see him log in, we get lost in conversations about nothing that wind on for hours, he flirts with me to make me blush, and I we hate to say goodbye. I remember wondering if we were losing our spark, but its 5 years later as lovers, and 10 years after the first time we felt that 'rush'.. and its still there. Not every night because we have to be responsible adults, but as often as we can sneak away.

We've always been completely comfortable with each other, and I still get butterflies and fireworks.

[11MikesGirl21]

I don't think we'll ever get fully out of our honeymoon stage. He's not as forth coming with mushy comments as he was in the beginning, but they still come. It's the same with me as well. We've always been sarcastic and playful with each other. But I know I still get butterflies around him. We've always been straight forward and honest with each other too. Not a lot about us has changed. We're just less mushy. We both miss that, but we've been working on bringing back a little bit.

The way we put it is we started with a big spark and now we got a nice little fire going. We throw on a new log every now and then, but for the most part it's pretty self sustaining.

[Jazi]

I'm not even entirely sure when our "honeymoon stage" was or when it ended..

We were friends online for 2 years before anything serious started to happen and that means our relationship started with already knowing so much about each other and having already spent hours upon hours talking on microphones..

We've been officially in a relationship for a bit over a year now and we still try to talk every day and always have been like that. I suppose though when we talk on skype we aren't completely fixated on each other the whole time. We are skyping right now and I'm posting on LFAD lol. I suppose I'd compare it to when you're in the same room but both doing other things and kind of talking at the same time, looking over at each other now and then.

I think for me the "honeymoon stage" was more when we were 'in person' on trips. it took me until a little into the second trip to feel comfortable with him and be ok with him seeing me from my worst side and not run off to brush my teeth as soon as i woke up in fear of bad breath! lol.

[Softy]

I'm still in it :P

[lademoiselle]

I'm not even entirely sure when our "honeymoon stage" was or when it ended..

Yep, same here, it's hard for me to tell. I've heard that the honeymoon stage typically lasts between two months and two years; we'll have been together for two years this August and we're pretty comfortable with each other by this point. I suppose we've left the sparks and butterflies behind for the most part although my heart still soars when I see him waiting to meet me at the station! At the moment we're more like really good mates (who happen to kiss and cuddle and stuff, haha) than anything else so I daresay we are indeed out of that first phase of a relationship. I can't say I've felt it to be a great loss though.

[Yaaamiii]

To be honest, my SO and I never had a real transition from the honeymoon stage to the comfortable stage, I don't think. We were kinda forced out of the honeymoon stage because our parents vocalized their opinions about not thinking that wanting to spend so much time together was healthy. I mean, I guess it wasn't, but we were just in that stage. I wished the transition could have been smoother. Oh well I guess..;p