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[Haley53]

I completely agree with this. You aren't doing yourself any favour by staying in touch right now. It sounds to me like you're just satisfying your urges to be "with" him and ultimately that's not going to help you heal. I know you're worried about him; you still love him and want to be there for him, but it's not your fault you're both in this situation, and you should primarily focus on yourself. Just the two cents of a person who's been there, done that.

I agree with this. A lot of people (myself included, at one point) stay friends because they hope that seeing things through will ultimately lead to proving the love that's had between you, and all will be well again. This often does not happen. Most of the time, you end up prolonging the hurt and still having to come to terms with the fact they don't want a relationship. I feel like there's more to the story than simply depression and breaking up with you to be a "hero." There generally is. "I don't deserve you" is oftentimes a cop out and if that really is the only reason, then he shouldn't be dealing with his depression by continuing to lean on you; he should be seeing a professional for it. I don't want to be hurtful, but you're going to end up even more hurt. It will be like pouring salt in the wound pretty regularly. It's a romantic notion to believe that love can conquer all, but it's not a realistic one. My advice would be not to prolong your heartbreak anymore than you need to. I wouldn't wait for someone who sounds like they'll never be ready.

[alesitag]

I feel my heart breaks every time i think about him. I will cut contact with him at least until i can heal... I've been so confused.
I'm a giant emotional pretzel. Sometimes i feel i'll survive... Then i feel like i'm falling into hell.
Right now, i feel like i've been stabbed right in my heart.
I picked up my US visa a few minutes ago and had to walk by Canada's immigration office. I almost burst into tears, because today i was going to start the process... I got my dad's blessing to go visit him last friday, just minutes before it all ended. It's not fair.

[alesitag]

He messaged me to say got his LFAD bracelet today. First message i have gotten from him since our last conversation (sunday at 3:30am)... My heart started beating like crazy, i swear it felt like it would jump out of my chest.

He thanked me for it and for the message i sent with it... He said he'll always keep it... After a short and awkward conversation we made it official... We will not talk to each other until we both move on...

I know i'll be fine... I know we wont get back together... Now it's all a matter of time until i hopefully get my friend back

[Jazi]

good to see an update from you - you will get through this.. and I do think ending communication for now is the right thing to do, keep strong with that rule.. maybe even delete his email address, or block him.. or whatever, just for now to make it difficult for yourself to contact him in your moments of weakness.

you'll get through it

[Lilly9886]

good to see an update from you - you will get through this.. and I do think ending communication for now is the right thing to do, keep strong with that rule.. maybe even delete his email address, or block him.. or whatever, just for now to make it difficult for yourself to contact him in your moments of weakness.

you'll get through it

What Jazi said is a very good way of "erasing" the chance to be weak and write him I think.... blocking him doesn't mean it's forever, you just can't see him online anymore and you will not have to fight yourself all the time..

I hope you'll feel better soon!

[alesitag]

So this is goodbye...

Guys, thank you again for all the support... This will be my last post on LFAD.

I tried to stick around and even tried to read and provide advice on some threads, but right now i dont feel there's much i can offer.

I'm starting a new chapter in my life, fixing things i screwed/making up with people i hurt while daydreaming about my LDR (this is the part im more excited about). Im feeling happier and for the first time since he left me, i didnt shed a single tear all day long.

My last update: he, again, messaged me half an hour ago... He flipped out and got jealous over my last MSN status update and decided he should delete me. I apologized over and over again (not sure why) and after a while, i said it was fine.

Again, it was all about him, just the way it had been for the past few weeks (even before we broke up). It was all about what he feels, what he wants, what he's got to say... And i never really got the chance to fully express myself, to tell him all i wanted to say, to tell him how i feel... Every time i wanted to say something he'd say he couldnt bear to hear it... Well, im brokenhearted too, it was my loss too... I wanted to do stupid, crazy things to deal with the pain and sorrow... i have lots of personal issues to deal with too and they all seemed to get bigger and more overwhelming with all this, but he wouldnt listen... He wouldnt be there for me the way i had been there for him since day one.

Anyway, goodbye LFADers!!! I really wish you all a world of happiness and success on closing the distance... I know it's doable and you can all prove the world wrong

If any of you would like to add me on facebook feel free to do so (just type LFAD on your friend request):

www.facebook.com/alesitag

i swear im not such a whining baby... Im usually optimistic and quite funny :P... You can be sure you'll always have a good friend in Mexico

Besos y abrazos!!

[Moon]

Mejor de las suertes, alesitag! (I hope that says best of luck, I totally admit it's from Google translate!)

[alesitag]

Thanks Moon, it is quite correct actually