Possibly Over reacting and being insecure????

[monkerluv]

So I have posted in here before about how my bf and I have gone from living together and to a long distance relationship. Well I have been patient and giving him space and being really really good at not talking to him. We started to “talk” I guess it is nothing serious mostly small talk now but we have gotten to talk twice this week but I found out that he is going to Disneyland with his friend James and james’ girlfriend and then a girl who is causally dating a guy. To me that sounds like it’s a double date but I don’t know if I am just over reacting or if I am just being insecure.

[Shepard-Fowkes]

I think it sounds like overreacting on your part. To me, not knowing the guy, it just sounds like he's going to have a fun day with some friends. Has he ever given you any reason to believe that he isn't faithful? If he has, then I guess my advice might be different? But from all you've put here I wouldn't assume "double date". Just him hanging out with a group of friends.

[ChibiFelicia]

I d have to agree with shepard. It does sound like you may be over reacting. But as shepard says it depends on whether he's been giving you any reason to doubt him. He told you about the people he's going with so im guessing if he had ill intentions he probably wouldnt have mentioned it.

[efish1042]

Gotta trust him until he gives you a reason not to, hun.

[monkerluv]

He didnt tell me who he was going with. I found out through a mutual friend. The thing that kills me is that he can talk to my friend liesa but he wont talk to me...

[Brieasaurus]

Like the others said, unless he's given you a reason to not trust him then you have to believe that he's not doing anything bad. To be honest though, it really does sound like he's just going to have fun with his friend (and then the friend's girlfriend got included, and she might've included the other girl). Does your SO know you're jealous? That might be why he didn't want to tell you that he was going with two girls because he didn't want to fight/have you get upset since he knows that they're just hanging out and nothing more.

[Haley53]

Like the others said, unless he's given you a reason to not trust him then you have to believe that he's not doing anything bad. To be honest though, it really does sound like he's just going to have fun with his friend (and then the friend's girlfriend got included, and she might've included the other girl). Does your SO know your jealous? That might be why he didn't want to tell you that he was going with two girls because he didn't want to fight/have you get upset since he knows that they're just hanging out and nothing more.

I agree with this. While I don't agree with withholding information, it's also possible for one partner to invoke that reaction out of the other. If you're prone to jealousy and overreacting, or have been lately, it's unlikely to be information he's willing to directly volunteer. To me it seems like he's going to hang out with friends more than it seems like a double date, especially given that, even casually, she's involved with someone else at this junction.

[ldrbtwn2countries]

Hi guys! I'm a newbie and well it's almost 2 months into my LDR. My story: my bf and I met at university and have been together for about a year now. After graduation, both of us have now returned to our respective countries with roughly 1300 miles apart. He's now currently working which involves a bit of travelling around as he is helping his dad's friend's company while I'll be leaving in a week's time to the West to study my master's degree. We do whatsapp but sometimes I feel frustrated and couldn't comprehend how could he be so busy to the point that sometimes he doesn't leave me a whatsapp message at all. I was hoping that in a way, that he'll leave me a morning and night message each day. I mean how hard is it to take out 2 minutes of your time to leave a message? On a plus side, he was the one who suggested to video call each other once a week and he usually is the one who asked for the video call (I guess because I'm pretty jobless at the moment while he's working his butt off). I don't know why but I sometimes feel insecure and although I'm a person who don't usually get jealous, there's one problem that's always in my mind: My bf is a tutor to his boss's daughter who comes from the same country of origin as his but the girl is currently away in Aus for her own degree. I know that they communicate via email, whatsapp and sometimes videocall. I do trust my bf but sometimes my instincts kick in and my mind plays trick: what if this girl gets closer to him? Sigh. I don't know what to do! Although we're sort of too young (both in early 20s) to talk about our future (i.e. closing our distance), I've asked my bf before what does he take this relationship as? He said it's a comfortable and seems long-lasting to him, he wants us to work out, said we can settle down together but cannot gurantee if we will have a future.. which sort of broke my heart. Before graduation, I sort of mentioned to him a few times if he wanted us to break-up? But every time I ask about ending the relationship, he would tell me to try LDR and see if we can work out. I don't know what to think.. any words of advice or support, anyone? Hope to hear some voices as it'll help me ease my mind. Thanks!

[LadyDaemon]

Hi guys! I'm a newbie and well it's almost 2 months into my LDR. My story: my bf and I met at university and have been together for about a year now. After graduation, both of us have now returned to our respective countries with roughly 1300 miles apart. He's now currently working which involves a bit of travelling around as he is helping his dad's friend's company while I'll be leaving in a week's time to the West to study my master's degree. We do whatsapp but sometimes I feel frustrated and couldn't comprehend how could he be so busy to the point that sometimes he doesn't leave me a whatsapp message at all. I was hoping that in a way, that he'll leave me a morning and night message each day. I mean how hard is it to take out 2 minutes of your time to leave a message? On a plus side, he was the one who suggested to video call each other once a week and he usually is the one who asked for the video call (I guess because I'm pretty jobless at the moment while he's working his butt off). I don't know why but I sometimes feel insecure and although I'm a person who don't usually get jealous, there's one problem that's always in my mind: My bf is a tutor to his boss's daughter who comes from the same country of origin as his but the girl is currently away in Aus for her own degree. I know that they communicate via email, whatsapp and sometimes videocall. I do trust my bf but sometimes my instincts kick in and my mind plays trick: what if this girl gets closer to him? Sigh. I don't know what to do! Although we're sort of too young (both in early 20s) to talk about our future (i.e. closing our distance), I've asked my bf before what does he take this relationship as? He said it's a comfortable and seems long-lasting to him, he wants us to work out, said we can settle down together but cannot gurantee if we will have a future.. which sort of broke my heart. Before graduation, I sort of mentioned to him a few times if he wanted us to break-up? But every time I ask about ending the relationship, he would tell me to try LDR and see if we can work out. I don't know what to think.. any words of advice or support, anyone? Hope to hear some voices as it'll help me ease my mind. Thanks!

Um hon,you probably want to post this as a separate thread in the main 'Long Distance Relationships' section.

[ldrbtwn2countries]

LadyDaemon, oops! Sorry! I didn't realise I did it under someone else's thread. Thanks for letting me know!

[Ejoriah]

Wait, why isn't your SO talking to you? Are you saying that since you moved out last year, the most talk you do is "small talk?" That wouldn't be acceptable to me. As you mentioned, if he can talk to your friend, he should be able to talk to you, his girlfriend. I wouldn't be able to stay in a relationship with someone who isn't even talking to me.