I need help, i really really do

[ninaneenthe]

no he wasnt , i feel like he's not exactly who i fell in love with he's changed so much this past month he was going to go to a strip club with some girl from his class and what bothered me is that he knows i feel that if someone who is in a commited relationship goes to a strip club is disrespectful. lately whenever i say anything for example the other day i was going to go to the library but i relized he was gonna get hoe in 10 mins so i decided not to go so we could talk and he asked me why i didnt go and i told him i decided to go another time because i wanted to see him he just yelled at me for "blaming everything on him" "throwing everything on his plate" when it really wasnt a big deal the library is open everyday and i just was going to go there to waste time. and when i adressed the fact he had been acting up and strange lately he said i was making stuff up and if we fight or argue its my fault and i just blame him when "everything he does is right" "am a good boyfriend i dont cheat on you" to which i responded on how a good boyfriend doesnt just mean not to cheat on your partner but also to be there and be able to fix these things he just hung up.
so i dont know he's been acting weird i asked him if he met someone maybe he met a girl who he found interesting and well he was feeling strange because maybe there was an attraction in between them or something but he said i was nuts and stupid for saying something like that. i told him if he met someone else at some point or just wanted a break because our things seemed to be out of hand and had him acting up we could take a break or something but he just said i was blaming him for everything again

[Romeo s Juliet]

no he wasnt , i feel like he's not exactly who i fell in love with he's changed so much this past month he was going to go to a strip club with some girl from his class and what bothered me is that he knows i feel that if someone who is in a commited relationship goes to a strip club is disrespectful.

This part bothered me alot :/ I think he is not taking you seriously enough. I feel he is behaving just like as if your relationship is non existent.
it seems like he is blaming everything on you. and going to a strip club with another girl from his class? wow that is pretty crazy. I am sorry but that is wayyyyyy outta line. Yes i agree he must be having a hard time coping with the relationship, but he is being a total jack ass to you.
You need to figure out if you really want to be with this guy or not, because seems like when ever you try to have a conversation or talk about something he did with bothers you, he just shrugs it off and everything is blamed on you. :/
after all LDR s are hard, but they are not supposed to be consistant sufffering. you should decide if this guy is worth it. being depressed is normal under situations that you face. but no one, just no one should have the right to treat you like this, just because you are depressed/worried.
and dont give anyone the right to do so too
good luck!

[ninaneenthe]

well sometimes when i dont try and adress things he just says am ruining the relationship because i dont talk about things but when i do he just says what i stated above.
you know i've been trying to figure out if he is who i really want or not like if you wouldve asked me a month ago in a heart beat i wouldve said are you crazy of course, i love him. but now i am not so sure its like our relationship has gone through so much so, so so, much things most couples dont, things that were problems of mine and he helped me through them and stuck by my side so when i ask myself that question is he the one all i think is i know i love him, i know he's a nice guy, but are we ever gonna move ahead with our relationship being like this and with out actual long distance at the begining we had plans but they all changed well he changed them so now we dont and i feel like there is a reason to that he doesnt want plans for a future. sometimes i wonder if its the love that makes me still stay with him or how confortable we are and how it feels nice to have a bit of my old life still present.
It'll never be that i dont care about him because i truly do i really love him and ive always wanted my future with him but it seems he doesnt want that anymore so its hard to stay threre and be the same we were when this could all crumble down any second, about two months ago i was with him for the week and i wanted to text my aunt so i borrowed his phone i knew my aunts fone was somethere in the sent text messages area so i started to look through and found a text from him to this girl he workd with and hangs out with very often "i love her yeah, but how much? how far am i willing to go for her. well thats something i dont know maybe not too far" it hurt me i adressed it of course it fell under snooping around and he used that against me and never gave me an answer to what he ment by that so i dont know where me and him stand and figuring out when one of us just wont say it or listen and talk is extremely hard

[Haley53]

Is it possible that he acted inappropriately with someone and all of this is guilt? I don't mean to point fingers or make you suspicious, but it's interesting to me he's spending this time with other girls, saying things like you mentioned he said in your last post, and wanting to go to a strip club. To be honest, it either sounds like the honeymoon has way worn off, and he's managed to hide his true colours for this long, or he's done something that's made him feel guilty and so he's reacting with anger and blame to certain things you're saying. I would guess that maybe it's trouble with the distance or maybe it's general trouble, but his defenses seem to rise whenever it comes to his friends/other girls, which to me, screams that perhaps something is going on or has gone on that he hasn't told you about.

At this point, I'm not sure what you can do. It honestly sounds as though he doesn't want to work towards the relationship anymore. :/ And if that's the case, he could very well be treating you so horribly because he's a coward about it and because it's easier to treat you like shit until you dump him than for him to grow a pair and dump you respectfully.