Not Sure If We Are Long Distance Again?

[carolynred]

My SO and I recently closed the distance after a better opportunity for getting into pharmacy school opened up for me near my hometown. We had been LDR due to my going to college last year. I am now back home and planning to attend the pharmacy school in the area. Recently, my SO had found a career program that he is really interested in, and we both agree that it is a great career for him. Problem is that the school is about 120 miles away, and now his parents and him decided its best for him to live at the town where is school is. My SO and I will both be busy with college with at least 15 hours of classes for the both of us next semester.

I completely understand the reasoning behind his decision, and I support my SO 100% for him to get a career that he will love. I can't help but have all these emotions though. I feel heartbroken or upset more than anything. I think its due to the fact that I'm going to have to feel the same feelings of not being with him like when I was attending my previous college. My feelings for my SO have not wavered at all since he made his decision though. I'm excited that he gets this opportunity because his parents refused to support him previously when it came to his future education. At the same time I'm confused because I don't know if what we are going to go through will really be considered long distance or not? I feel like its silly for me to think that 100 miles away seems so far, when I know others on this site are thousands of miles away from their SOs.

My SO feels guilty about moving away because I had just moved back home. I don't want him to feel this way, but I feel like my downward mood keeps his guilt locked in place. I'm trying to sound happy when we talk about it, but it feels impossible at the moment to sound happy. Plus, I'm a terrible liar to boot.

I'm not sure what exactly I'm asking for in this thread, I guess I just wanted to vent. Sorry if it sounds whiny. I guess all I can ask is, would you consider the situation long distance?

[Katelyn313]

First, congrats to you and your SO on the career decisions!! That's all great news!

Now, the other stuff... Dylan and I are 223 miles apart and we consider ourselves Long Distance. Whatever you guys think is what matters. I totally understand how you feel about it being silly to be upset over such a seemingly small distance. I feel guilty sometimes when I miss him because I know we are much closer and see each other much more than other people on this site. But it still hurts not to be able to see him everyday. If he's off from work (he does construction and doesn't work if the weather's too bad), I can't just pop over and see him; we have to Skype. If either one of us is having a terrible day, we can't go and comfort the other one.

How often do you plan on seeing each other? That will certainly factor in. 120 miles isn't too bad if you both have access to cars and money for gas, but if not, it's definitely a haul.

Hang in there and ultimately, it's your decision. Hope that helped... sometimes I ramble incoherently Congrats again!

[Haley53]

I feel it's dependent on the individual couple, simply because what my opinion of long distance is is based off my own experiences with being in a LDR. I don't even consider being in an in-state relationship (yes, even one as big as California) LD, but that's me, and it may feel completely different to someone else!

That being said, I agree with Katelyn. 120 miles is around a couple hours, if that, by car, if you both have access to one, are able to drive, and have money for gas, and 15 hours a week really is not that much of a haul, depending on how much it's spread out. This quarter I had 11 hours a week (next quarter, it will be 12 hours per week) and worked around 20 hours per week for about a month. It was busy, but my SO and I still managed to make time for one another. Though we obviously cannot plan weekend visits, that's something for you both to consider. As hard as it seems like it's going to be now, once you settle into the routine of it, you'll both have a clearer picture of what you need to do to maintain your relationship. It's a daunting prospect, but it can be worked out.

[MadMolly]

If you can't be like, hey wanna come over tonight and watch a movie? because they are too far away in travelling distance, then I'd consider that long distance.

[dukes2011]

Definitely agree with MadMolly that if you can't get together on a whim, then you could consider it long distance. I'm sure it is hard since you just closed the distance to have him move. My SO and I are also long distance due to me being at school, but he is working. Whenever I get down about it I tell myself even though it's not the easiest, our future will be better because of our sacrifices now.

[sewbama]

I don't think there is a definition for LDR, but if there is, MadMolly has it right. You can't just visit whenever you want. Your situation (a lot like my past and future distance) is obviously different than the people with thousands of miles between them, but you still go through the same things. You might have more frequent visits, but you still spend a lot of time missing them, you can't talk face to face when you want, you can't spend the night, your daily lives are separate. There's no reason to compare your relationship to others. This place is about help with problems unique to having to be apart.

[Dziubka]

If you can't be like, hey wanna come over tonight and watch a movie? because they are too far away in travelling distance, then I'd consider that long distance.

I agree with that. If visiting just for a few hours doesn't make sense, then it's long distance.

Obviously it's different to a transatlantic ldr, just like my international ldr is/was different to other national LDRs even though they might have the same or a shorter distance.


It's totally fine to feel a bit disappointed about the situation. 120 miles might not be a lot compared to other ldrs, but when you were thinking you would be close distance for good, then even 120 miles is far.
Support each other as good as you can and make the best of your time together. School's not forever

---------- Post added at 09:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:55 AM ----------

If you can't be like, hey wanna come over tonight and watch a movie? because they are too far away in travelling distance, then I'd consider that long distance.

I agree with that. If visiting just for a few hours doesn't make sense, then it's long distance.

Obviously it's different to a transatlantic ldr, just like my international ldr is/was different to other national LDRs even though they might have the same or a shorter distance.


It's totally fine to feel a bit disappointed about the situation. 120 miles might not be a lot compared to other ldrs, but when you were thinking you would be close distance for good, then even 120 miles is far.
Support each other as good as you can and make the best of your time together. School's not forever