Summerjob or not

[Swederica]

So i've been forced to take up that question i put on hold a while ago.
The reasons for fixing a way to do the summerjob is many.
The biggest reason of course being the money, which could be useful for when i move to LA.
But my family doesn't atleast see that as the major reason for doing it. They seem to believe that i think i can just skip my way through life. Which is not true at all. Ofc i know that i have to work to get money and live on my own and stuff. I'm not that naive.

So anyway. As some of you know i live at my dad's place right now, which is not even close to my mom's place. And the summerjob is ofc close to my mom's place. Which ultimately results in me having to go back a step and move in there again, which i'm not very keen on. Especially not when reading some txts i they sent me after i took off.

I will translate a few of them.
So this one i got from my mom

"You should be ashamed.
Tomorrow we will empty your room,
you don't want to live here anyway
We should get some money from your stuff
Have a good life and continue to not care about the people that love you the most"

And this one from my stepfather

"You fu**ing ego
You only feel sorry about yourself.
Go and get a life, and before you do that return the housekey and my phone.
Then you can go on and become a loser you ego"

As you can see very loving texts.
But i was actually not sad when i went through all of that.
i was just so happy that i took a step out to create my own life.
So yeah moving back there is like it would be so unnecessary hard.
And the money issue i should be more than alright on. I have my study aid fixed. I have the ability to get more money beside that.

So yeah i just kind of needed to write it down. And if you have anything to add, then that would be helpful and more than welcome

[Frank]

Summer Jobs are very common here in the US. Are summer jobs looked down on in Sweden? Why do you have to take a job near your mom?
I know that when I got my first job, my Dad was not too happy (I was 14). I think he felt that 1) It was me growing up and 2)I was going to miss out on a lot of things (vacation, family events, etc). So maybe that could be a concern of theirs and why they feel you don't need a job.
After reading those awful texts they sent, though, I would not worry too much about what they feel. And I would definitely avoid taking that step back.

[Swederica]

Summer jobs are not looked down upon in Sweden.
It's just that it's pretty hard to get one.
So if i have to skip this summerjob i won't find any other unfortunately.
I could always try to freelance as a lawn mower .P

They mostly seem to want me to go through with it because i have to learn that i have to work in real life.
And that is a lesson i already know. I know completely that i have to work to get money etc etc.
Maybe i should add that it's a part time job?
Around 3-5 hrs 6 days a week can't give much money anyway. So question is if it would be worth going back to live with them, if they even let me in again, ater all this.

[Michelle]

I wouldn't want to go back to all that hostility. I can't believe how horribly they treat you. :/

I would try to find work near your dad.

Have you tried searching online? I found this site: https://www.seasonaljobs365.com/country/sweden/work

[Swederica]

Thanks Michelle. I will check that site out.

I know i didn't handle the whole situation very well either. But the alternative was just too much pain for like nothing.

Now actually i've been txting a bit with my mom. And she won't let me get my stuff back. I mean things i have bought with my own money.
I can't believe that. Seriously. So i've contacted the police with some questions about it. But sink that low?

Just now she said that i can't prove that it's mine and that they have cleared out my room and thrown out lots.

[Bluestars]

Are there any places near your dad's that you can apply to? You might think that you will not stand a chance, but you never know until you try every place out there. I suggest just going to every restaurant and store and asking to fill out an application.

[Swederica]

I will check those oppurtunities shortly.
But unfortunately the years 1989-1992 had like an extreme baby boom. So we have the biggest number of youths in Sweden since like the 60s.
I will check atleast, worth a shot

[Zephii]

Don't go back! Seriously it's the worst feeling ever (I moved out of home at 15, and had to temporarily move back for nearly a year when I was 21)
You're out now, and it seems they'll only mock you harder if you do return. It sucks you can't go get your stuff though, that's low. What's your dad saying about all this?
If he's happy to support you, the summer job isn't really worth your misery. Plus there's lawn mowing, washing people's cars, baby sitting, dog walking, ebay, fruit picking, a whole bunch of stuff you can do to get cash on the side - many of which don't suck quite as much as having a real job. :P
Besides it doesn't have to be a "summer job", just don't tell your employer that you're leaving in a couple of months when you're at the interview.
I hope things get better for you.

[Swederica]

Yeah things are improving pretty rapidly i suppose. According to this school guy i should, theoritically, be allowed to move to US in about a month. Still not sure when but in July for sure.

And about my stuff. i will get them back. We are talking about an expensive high-end gaming computer and some other pretty expensive stuff. I'm not gonna let them get that.
And the computer is supposed to give me some extra income too. So yeah we'll see what happens. If they don't give me the comp tomorrow i will have to take legal action.

[Michelle]

Yeah things are improving pretty rapidly i suppose. According to this school guy i should, theoritically, be allowed to move to US in about a month. Still not sure when but in July for sure.

And about my stuff. i will get them back. We are talking about an expensive high-end gaming computer and some other pretty expensive stuff. I'm not gonna let them get that.
And the computer is supposed to give me some extra income too. So yeah we'll see what happens. If they don't give me the comp tomorrow i will have to take legal action.

Go you! That is very brave. If your mom is willing to sink that low to not give your stuff back then she deserves to be handled by the police.

[Swederica]

Go you! That is very brave. If your mom is willing to sink that low to not give your stuff back then she deserves to be handled by the police.

Haha thanks. I did meet her today and she was pretty mad at me still. Understandable in it's way. But she insisted that i was sick and should get help. And that she at one point wanted me to be taken care of, you know mental way but that i was too healthy for that.
So anyway i didn't get my comp today.
And the first time we met she told me that she would contact my girlfriends parents and tell them what a betrayer i am. So i'm like "Wtf?"
They make this whole thing kind of easier for me. I'm just getting pissed at them.

So then she came and told me that i was welcome back home any time i wanted. But with those mood swings ehh nah.

[Frank]

As Zehphii explained, I definitely think you don't want to go back. I wonder what the purpose of your mom's mood swing was. What an unfortunate circumstance you are in. But I am glad that you have hopes of making it to the US soon!

[LadyMarchHare]

As much as money is always needed and you stated how hard summer jobs are to get, I wouldn't go near that woman or her husband for all the money in the world. That's not how a mother should act towards her child so really I don't even see her as your mother, just some unstable, angry woman you happen to share genes with. Your stepdad can suck an egg and swallow it. Keep talking with the police about getting your stuff, it doesn't matter what your 'mother' says. They're touching property they didn't help buy.

Sorry you're going through that, that's horrible. And I hope you can go to the US soon, that way you can be as far as possible from that sort of treatment and be on your way to better things.

[Swederica]

As Zehphii explained, I definitely think you don't want to go back. I wonder what the purpose of your mom's mood swing was. What an unfortunate circumstance you are in. But I am glad that you have hopes of making it to the US soon!

Yeah. US is my big hope.

As much as money is always needed and you stated how hard summer jobs are to get, I wouldn't go near that woman or her husband for all the money in the world. That's not how a mother should act towards her child so really I don't even see her as your mother, just some unstable, angry woman you happen to share genes with. Your stepdad can suck an egg and swallow it. Keep talking with the police about getting your stuff, it doesn't matter what your 'mother' says. They're touching property they didn't help buy.

Sorry you're going through that, that's horrible. And I hope you can go to the US soon, that way you can be as far as possible from that sort of treatment and be on your way to better things.

Yeah i'm just going to have to live with small amounts of money. I should get pretty well around, i do have the student loan.
She's being really weird right now. And i've never liked my stepdad.
I will get my stuff back somehow. Of that i'm very sure.

I should be getting to US. The school have mailed me the documents i need to apply for a visa and to get things rolling. But i don't want to take anything for granted so i'm still just saying most likely.

[ChrisIsCallisto]

wow, for a start, its probly for the best you moved out of your mums, she seams HORRIBLE
and couldnt you get a new summer job neer your dads?