Does this happen to everyone? :/

[Courtney:)]

Has anyone had that feeling when they suddenly don't want their SO to visit anymore..?

He visits in almost a week now…and I’m scared.

We will be meeting face to face for the first time. I'm so nervous. What if we don’t click? What if I look better to him through a computer/phone screen than in person? What if my parents don’t like him? Or if it’s awkward with him staying here?

Weeks ago, I didn’t expect that I would be having these thoughts.

Has anyone had this feeling before a visit? :/

[roosie]

It's just fear which gives you these doubts. Next time you feel that way, ask yourself: "Is this me or is it fear talking?" I remember feeling the same way as part of me was afraid of the change. I remember thinking about same things - what if we don't click, what if he doesn't like me.. It takes a lot of courage to meet someone for the first time but I'm sure you can do it and you'll be fine. He is the same person you already know!

[dukes2011]

My SO and I started out CD, so I can't relate to meeting them for the first time. Even so, I have sometimes had that feeling where I don't want him to visit. For me, it stems from the fear of saying goodbye and coping with being apart again. I remind myself that it's human nature to make things seem worse in your head than they actually are. Usually I worry about the unknown and I think that's what has you worrying too.

[princessmeg1328]

The only time I can ever remember not wanting him to visit was when we just had a huge fight. I agree with the other that you're probably just nervous. Meeting in person for the first time is a big deal, and you can never be sure that it'll go well. If your relationship is meant to be then everything will work out. Go with the flow and just spend time getting to know each other in person. It's different from talking online.

[Haley53]

I'm meeting my SO for the first time and I still get jittery and anxious about it. :/ Things get tenser between us and we're both a bit more sensitive. I feel like it's because there's so much anticipation that it gets to be incredibly overwhelming, and sometimes the idea of hiding away and forgoing it and keeping things as they are - the "normal" and more comfortable way - can seem tempting. So no, you're not alone in this one. A lot of us still have these feelings even several visits later, even if they're not to the extreme of not wanting them/us to visit any longer (which in my opinion, is your response to the feeling of overwhelm, therefore, normal ).

[Sora1101]

It's totally normal to feel that way, I mean before you visit for the first time you build it all up in your head playing it out a ton of different ways and then when it finally comes time to meet you start to realize that it couldn't possibly be the way it is in your head. But trust me on this if you can manage to hold conversations for 8 months LD then you will at least have stuff to talk about and when you're finally together don't feel like you need to fill the silence with conversation, sometimes it's nice to just sit in each others company and cuddle or whatever.

I think you'll be fine, out of all the first visit posts on here I think I've only seen 1 or 2 where it didn't work out and I don't think they were dating for very long, you really have nothing to worry about, of course you'll bother be nervous at first, probably make something stupid or crack lame jokes, but you'll be surprised how easily you both fit together after awhile it's like you've been together all along.

[Jezah]

The only time I felt like that was with my friend I knew LD before HBB, who I had flirted with and decided to invite to come stay with me for a bit and see 'how it went'. A week before I started to feel sick about it, and didn't want him to come but was too afraid to cancel the tickets and tell him. I brushed it off as nerves and he still came, and it was horrible. I ended up hating him, my gut was telling me something and I ignored it. That is not to say yours is not just nerves, but be careful.

With HBB I was nervous/excited, but never for one moment didn't want him to come or was afraid of him coming. Yes I was nervous he wouldn't like me in person, but even if not bf/gf I loved him enough to know we would have a good time as friends. So if you are feeling true fear and doubts, listen to them and try and get to the core reason. If its because you don't think YOU will like HIM as much in person that you need to take a long hard look at this visit. You do not want to end up like I did, trapped in a awkward situation with someone I didn't like.

[Haley53]

LOL. Oops. My friend pointed out to me I wrote first. I meant I'm meeting my SO for the third time. Didn't even catch that.

[notyourexgirlfriend]

I get nervous excitement but never any dread of not wanting him to come visit.

[Courtney:)]

It's not that I'm dreading his visiting or that I don't think that I will like him as much as I do now, I'm afraid of how he will think of me. I love him so much and I want him to visit more than anything, but I just have this sick stomach feeling because I want everything to be perfect. It's nervous excitement, I believe. I've been thinking about it all day. We have been planning to meet and for him to visit longer than we have even been dating, and for the past 8-9 months, I have been nothing but excited. I think the core reason is just self-image issues. When Skyping him or sending him pictures of myself, I've always felt like I just looked better through the screen. And like Sora1101 said, it will be nice for the times where we really don't have much to say, to just sit and enjoy each others company that we have never felt before in person. Nervous excitement! It will go away when I see him walk off that plane and I jump into his arms! Thank you so much for all the advice

[dglynn77]

I think it is absolutely normal! So much emotion put into one meeting! Of course you will feel nervous. My 7 year old sister, after seeing me crazy nervous about meeting my SO, vowed that she would never date if that was what happened when you date someone... lol
Maybe some people don't get nervous, but being nervous is not bad, it's just an emotion.

Soon you will be together and you will laugh that you ever didn't want him there in your arms!

Best of luck Courtney!!!

[notyourexgirlfriend]

It's not that I'm dreading his visiting or that I don't think that I will like him as much as I do now, I'm afraid of how he will think of me. I love him so much and I want him to visit more than anything, but I just have this sick stomach feeling because I want everything to be perfect. It's nervous excitement, I believe. I've been thinking about it all day. We have been planning to meet and for him to visit longer than we have even been dating, and for the past 8-9 months, I have been nothing but excited. I think the core reason is just self-image issues. When Skyping him or sending him pictures of myself, I've always felt like I just looked better through the screen. And like Sora1101 said, it will be nice for the times where we really don't have much to say, to just sit and enjoy each others company that we have never felt before in person. Nervous excitement! It will go away when I see him walk off that plane and I jump into his arms! Thank you so much for all the advice

I thought that too when I first went to visit my SO. I thought that he'd be dissatisfied by my real life appearance. That I wouldn't live up to his expectations of me. That the age gap would be too much. Turns out it really was all in my head. I'm sure everything will be just fine

[BabyDimples]

It's just nerves, don't worry about it. Your just getting yourself worked up, and I'm going to end up doing the exact same thing when I meet Thomas for the first time. You'll be fine and you two will have an awesome time together

[lonelyinlove]

My SO & I started dating CD, but nervousness still comes at every visit. But it goes away once u realize its just what you've wanted for so long....

[sewbama]

When I first met my SO, I was really nervous about the chemistry. He'd only seen a few pictures of me, and I of him (we were only an hour drive apart, and had been talking for like two weeks). I didn't really have time to properly go through all these stages, but I know this one hit me. I was so scared that it wouldn't be perfect. But it was, and we fell in love that night. I do think it's very normal to have these feelings and I'm glad you found their roots. Have fun!