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How Do you Deal with When ur SO is sick and youre not Physcally there for them.?.

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    #1

    How Do you Deal with When ur SO is sick and youre not Physcally there for them.?.

    ...it can be really tough situation when Ur SO is sick and you"re too far away from them,its very frustrating feeling when no matter how you want to hug and to look after them when u cant do nothing because you're thousand miles away from them and wishing you were with them through those time because you know just being physically there with them would make them feel better.

    like what i m feeling right now my SO is sick and i feel so useless because i wasn't there for him to look after him,i just feel so useless when i cant do anything because i m not there even just to hug and comfort him when he is very sick..this is sucks situation its really sucks the distance between us.all i wish was to be there for him but i cant do nothing about it all i can do is just call him and send him message that i was here for him but i know that doesn't help a lot because it still feels different when Ur physically there..oh i really wish i was there for him...

    guys how do u deal when Ur in this situation when you're SO is sick and you're far away from them?,what do you to make them feel that you're just beside them when really you're too far away.?what do u do to get rid of this awful feelings when Ur SO is sick and u cant do nothing to hug/comfort them.?
    i just really feel so awful and useless right now..
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    #2
    Well there's not much I can do about it in general, and I don't necessarily feel bad for not being there because, given the choice I definitely would take care of him, but the situation is what it is. Of course I feel sad that he's in pain, but I don't beat myself up over it.

    When he is ill (usually just a bad case of cold) I check up on him regularly and give him advice/remind him to take his meds and generally try to cheer him up. He tends to act like a big baby when sick so I indulge him :P
    I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

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      #3
      Do you have his address? If you can afford to pay for shipping, even if it might take some time (depending on where you are), this is one of those times a care package could come in handy. If he's better by the time he receives it, maybe he can set it aside for next time! When I start feeling like this, I like to come up with little things I can do, as opposed to focusing on the ones I can't. If it's sending something I find and see and need to buy for my SO, I do that. If it's something I can do online, like a video or a picture or sending some things I find on Tumblr, I do that. The trick is to try not to let your situation get the best of you, and focus on the range of possibilities you DO have to help him feel better. Perhaps you two could watch a movie over Skype? Or you could read to him? There's surprisingly a lot to do from afar when one partner feels crappy and spends a lot of time in bed.
      { Our Story on LFAD }


      Our Beginning
      Met online: February 2009
      Feelings confessed: December 2010
      Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
      Officially together since: 08 April 2011

      Our Story
      First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
      Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
      Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
      Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

      Our Happily Ever After
      to be continued...

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        #4
        I'm afraid I don't deal with it very well...
        I get very worried and upset that I can't be there! I worry a lot when he is sick. I just want to cuddle him and help him and make sure he is super spoiled until he feels better.
        One day...

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          #5
          I feel bad I can't be there for them but I don't beat myself up over it because I know I can't just drop everything and go. I usually leave him alone and let him rest and send him sweet text messages or a get well soon e-card. He knows that I'm here for him he needs someone to talk to. It sucks but I feel like there isn't much you can do.

          "I love you and I've loved you all along and I miss you. Been far away for far too long."<3

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            #6
            I hate when he's sick. Like you, I feel useless. He got into a motorcycle accident early on in our talking days and that was the most helpless feeling.

            I don't think there's much you can do but check on him, send him well wishes, etc...he knows you care and that's what's important



            Met online: 1/30/11
            Met in person: 5/30/12
            Second visit: 9/12/12
            Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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              #7
              This past semester, my SO got really sick one day...it started as a sore throat and progressed very quickly (in the same day) to some sort of a stomach virus. Towards the end of the night, he started vomiting very frequently and one of his apartment-mates saw him and told him he would take him to the hospital. I'm sad to say that I'm like my mom in this sense...when she gets worried, overly worried, it comes off as frustration. I guess its frustration that she can't do anything even though she wants to. I'm the same way. So when my SO was in the hospital, I was VERY frustrated. He was too sick to let me know what was going on so I got about 40 minutes of sleep that night. It was horrible. I cried out of how stressed/worried I was because he was in the hospital and I felt SO helpless. My helplessness came off negatively and made him sad. When he finally got back from the hospital, I felt so relieved. They injected him with IV and that helped a lot. It calmed his stomach down by a ton.

              I'm not proud of how I handled that situation. At the very least, I wish I hadn't taken my frustration out on him. He was sick as heck and didn't deserve it. I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt the next day and apologized profusely. I've since learned how to better handle those situations.

              I've realized over the years that when I care about someone a whole lot, I worry about them like crazy (when it's necessary, of course!). I've tried to change this or at least tone it down a bit but I can't help it. I've communicated this with my SO, and I've asked if he can at least text me every so often to let me know how he's doing. He has a hard time doing this because he likes to shut off from the world and read a book or sleep or something when he's sick. Meaning he doesn't like to text, which of course only worries me more. He tries, though xD. I feel that if he at least texts me every few hours I can think clearly.

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                #8
                i do feel bad and do get worried, but the only thing i can really do is attempt to cheer her up and give her lots of cyber kisses and hugs

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                  #9
                  thank u guys..

                  yeah its just really awful and frustrating feeling when all you wanted those times he is sick is to be right there beside them to cuddle.take care of them until they get better which is definitely sucks coz you cant do much about it coz you're too far away from them,..its just so frustrating when you cant be with them those times that they needed you the most..i hate when he is being sick coz i know i wasnt there for him..and there not much i cant do than to a send him comforting messages and letting him know that i was here for him if he need me,,distance gets more tougher during this times..

                  wish i could just fly and be with him right now...

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