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    Freaking out about visit.

    So I visit my boyfriend on Wednesday and I'll be there for about a week... I'm super excited to see him and spend time with him! But, at the same time, I am really, really, REALLY nervous.

    A couple of months ago, he brought up being unhappy with our relationship as it is right now, mainly because he was lonely/depressed without me there, he's had problems moving past previous issues that rose up between us, all on top of financial and job stress. He had some doubts about our relationship, wanting to say we were just going through a rough patch and maybe it was just because we had been apart too long, but he wasn't sure. We talked about everything, expressed that we wanted to get things back on track, and talked about what we thought we could improve in our relationship and have gone from there.

    I took responsibility for my mistake, acknowledged I hurt him, and apologized. I backed off significantly, letting him "make the first move" so to speak because I didn't want to put any unnecessary pressure on him when he was already so stressed and miserable because of his job. I kept myself busy to stay positive and worked on myself since my anxiety/low self-esteem has been a sore spot between us at times, and I can definitely see an improvement. I've been as open as possible about everything with him, since we both said communication was something we needed to work on. Throughout the whole time, he never stopped communicating, always calling on his way to or from work as usual and texting when he couldn't, telling me he loved me, etc. He's still significantly stressed and unhappy with his job, but at least he's been talking with me about it. So far, it seems like things are slowly starting to improve, though we're still far from where we used to be, and I know it'll take more time to get back to that place. It's hard to be patient, but he's worth it.

    I'm sure there really isn't anything to worry about and my nerves are just getting the best of me since I haven't seen him since April and we've been going through all this while apart. I guess I'm just scared I'll get down there and find his feelings completely gone, even though I know that's not true since he made sure to take the time off to spend with me (which wasn't easy), tells me he loves me, and is still in the relationship in the first place.

    I mainly just wanted to vent, get it out since I'm sure a LOT of you have felt this way/gone through something like this before. Any tips/advice anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated.

    #2
    I think you two are doing the best thing you can do - communicating!

    Honestly, reading your post reminded me of how I've felt being apart from my SO. I've felt lonely and depressed without her but at the end of the day, what's helped me get through it is simply knowing that my SO and I are in this together, that she cares about me, that she is mine and I am hers... Having that reassurance has helped me VERY much with the separation... It sounds like you and your SO have great communication, so reassurance shouldn't be an issue if he needs more of it from you. I really think that when you spend this next week with him, the feelings will come flooding back like they were before. Once you have to leave, you may go through more rough patches like this again, but just continue being there for each other and things should go well!

    Good luck heathergro and have an amazing trip!
    First met online: October 15th, 2011
    First met in-person: July 13th, 2012

    Next meeting: September 21st, 2012

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      #3
      I feel like our communication has definitely improved over the past couple of months and that we're doing better, so I know I shouldn't let my nerves get the best of me. I ALWAYS get nervous before I go to see him, so I guess old habits die hard, haha. But I think you're right, as soon as we're together and we spend time together, the feelings will come flooding back and it'll bring us closer. Especially since, for this visit, he managed to get off for the entire time as opposed to having to work for most of the time. We both have off, away from the stress of our jobs, and can just hang out and focus on us. Thanks for the response, Jayburr!

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