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My girlfriend doesn't live anymore.

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    #16
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my prayers. Please keep living. She would want you to. We're all here for you. Please stay strong.

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      #17
      Oh my god, this is one of my greatest fears.. especially being LDR.

      I am so sorry.. I know it doesn't sound like enough because words just can't express it when something so devastating happens.

      I started to choke up with a tear when I saw her year of birth.. The rest of her life/your possible lives together taken away.

      Stay strong, it's going to feel almost impossible.. but she would want you to stay strong and live. Live the happy and for-filled life that you both deserved

      x
      Met Online: February 2009
      Feelings grew: January 2011
      First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
      Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
      Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
      Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
      Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
      Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
      Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
      Engaged: 1st of July 2012
      Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
      Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
      Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
      Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
      Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
      Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

      Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

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        #18
        I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, friend. We are all here to listen to you when you need an ear. :hugs:


        2016 Goal: Buy a house.
        Progress: Complete!

        2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
        Progress: Working on it.

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          #19
          My goodness, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Stay strong & we're here if you need yo talk.

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            #20
            Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers . I cannot imagine what you are going through. Stay strong! Remember to keep living for yourself and your loved ones, especially Jennifer.


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              #21
              I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through at the moment. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that you know that we are all here to talk to whenever you need us.

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                #22
                I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that would be terribly hard to recover from, as I know I'd be more than devastated if anything happened to my SO. I wish you stay strong and live.. for her. I'm so sorry, it made me so sad and devastated even to read this, so I can see how much if would have affected you. Stay strong.

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                  #23
                  I don't even have words. I'm so sorry.



                  Met online: 1/30/11
                  Met in person: 5/30/12
                  Second visit: 9/12/12
                  Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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                    #24
                    Stay strong my friend, Jennifer wants you to live.
                    I know it's hard but commiting suicide isn't the solution.

                    We're here for you bro.

                    *hugs from the Philippines.
                    After all that we've been through, It all comes down to me and you.
                    I guess it's meant to be, Forever you and me, After all.

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                      #25
                      This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry

                      Like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. - Steve Jobs

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                        #26
                        Thanks for all the warm messages. It really does me well. But I cannot help but swallow a stone through my throat, every single time that I look through my e-mail and see my dearest her e-mails to me. We were supposed to get engaged over a year and I was working almost every single day after school to save money to eventually live together with her and visit her as much as possible. All of that is gone and I cannot even attend her ceremony or funeral because I never really had much contact with her parents. (Jennifer didn't have a very positive relationship with them). I only have her colleague who could mean something for me.

                        It makes me feel lost, empty, completely in-capable of doing anything and it drives me crazy. It literally makes me lose the tight grip that I have on sanity. I need to take two tablets of oxazepam now every single day to keep myself calm and make myself have a comfortable sleep because I cannot stop with crying and I cannot stop with thinking of robbing myself from my own life. I want to be with Jennifer because she really, really was the love of my life, I talk about her as if she has become my obsession and all of this is becoming too much for me.

                        It concerns me because I was never a person to hurt myself, I was never a person who wanted to commit suicide but after having lost my mother when I was thirteen and now having lost the apple of my eye on the age of twenty, I don't understand what can go right in my life anymore. It's as if dead and disappointment are two paintings imprinted upon my forehead. And I really, really do want to get taking in to the hospital.

                        I'm not myself anymore.

                        I miss her so, so much. I want her back....
                        Last edited by Purple Kisses; November 2, 2012, 06:45 AM.

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                          #27
                          I'm sorry but I'm terribly, terribly crying right now. I miss her so, so much. And I can't stop but question the air, "Why?"

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                            #28
                            My family who have been to Dubai have told me how bad the drivers are in the Emirates.

                            Sorry to hear brother.

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                              #29
                              My dear, is there any one you can be with right now, family or friends? This is all so new and raw right now and its only natural to be feeling the way you do, but being around others might help in some way. Your girls last wish was that she wanted you to stay alive, so please seek some support....




                              Started Writing - February 2010
                              First Visit - September 2010
                              Second Visit - June 2011
                              Third Visit & His Release Date - February 2012
                              Our Wedding Day - April 2012
                              Submitted I-130 Visa Application - July 2012
                              NOA1 - July 2012
                              NOA2 - December 2012
                              Fourth Visit - December 2012
                              Closing The Distance - Watch this space

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                                #30
                                I do have family and friends who support me. A lot of people do. But that doesn't help me one-bit, no matter how much love they show me, I cannot live without speaking to my Jenny every single day. She made me a brighter person, I was cold and distant in the beginning that I met her but she made me laugh every single and even in times that I felt bad.

                                I can't go through the day normally anymore. I really, really want to end my life but then I constantly get reminded by family and friends that Jennifer wanted me to stay alive. It is so difficult to handle, I cannot understand why every single time that love and joy comes into my life that something uncontrollably comes in to take it away from me. Perhaps, I was born to be constantly dragged down to Hell.

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