So PISSED at my Ex SO!!!

[Gurl]

Mildly long.. big question at the end for skimmers

for those who didn't know me back when...A few years ago a guy i was dating ended up with a job offer in Kuwait. I stood by him as he got ready to go, and even waited for him for a very long time.. over a year, probably close to two years. Anyway, long story short we fell apart. He didn't show me affection the way I needed..and so much more went wrong including me not being upfront when I started having problems with our relationship.

Fast forward...about September of this year, this man changes his relationship status to dating someone..which he never did with me . But that put the final cork in any hope I was foolishly harboring I started dating again, had a few flings...and then met Rick online. I was instantly attracted...etc etc and here he and I are. I am very happy and finally posted about it today on Facebook.

So, I decide to go to the website where I met my ExSO to see if he was still posting tags to me that I think are overboard, especially since he is supposed to be in a committed relationship (something he would NEVER give me!). So I see all kinds (10 new in the past month or so) and am surprised to see one that says "cmere sexy" amongst others I feel are just out of line from an ex-turned-friend I mean WTF!?!?!?!? Seriously..you wouldn't go there when you had me..and now you are...and your seeing someone who you claim on Facebook. OMG...I had to restrain myself from FB mailing her....it took a lot.

Am I over reacting? I think I need to message him to fucking stop. But I don't know if leaving it alone is best or if it will just keep happening. I don't go to the other site very often, but I really DO NOT like these flirty tags he's sending. You can find my profile here and the tags show on the right hand side. Should I mail him or not? I know I will tell Rick..it makes me uncomfortable to not tell him...

I don't want to loose BC as a friend but what the hell is he thinking???? So long story short...should I message my ExSO that the tags he has sent are inappropriate or should I leave it alone and hope he fucking quits?

[sewbama]

Yea, I'd tell him to quit. First, that's what you want. And as you mention, part of the problems you had before was not being upfront with him when you had problems. The thing about recognizing those things is you have to learn from them. So, for that reason, you should tell him that you feel he's behaving inappropriately.

Second, these things he's doing are public, as you pointed out to us. Anyone can see them. So while some may believe you that they are just him acting inappropriately, some may see them as a sign of you acting inappropriately. By not stopping them, you are allowing those questions and doubts of your fidelity to your current SO. He might never see them, he might believe you that it's all him, but he also might not. If you haven't told him about them yet, you should now, and explain how you intend to take care of it. Just to prevent any future issues of trust between you.

[lucybelle]

I think you're over reacting a bit but I can understand why you're upset since he wasn't affectionate before and is now. But remember, people change. Maybe he learned to be more affectionate?

Anyways, just write him a polite email saying the tags you're in make you a little uncomfortable since you're both in new committed relationships and you would prefer him to stop. No need to tell Rick or tattle tale to the new girlfriend. Say you appreciate the flattery but you don't want to be looked at in that way any more by him. Thanks but no thanks. Ya know?

[stephanieaz]

If you don't go there very often, would you be okay with deleting your profile? Is it possible that he sends those types of "tags" to lots of women and is just being friendly, in his own weird way? If so, I would just send him a simple and polite message stating that they make you uncomfortable and you would prefer that he stop.

[Gurl]

Second, these things he's doing are public, as you pointed out to us. Anyone can see them. So while some may believe you that they are just him acting inappropriately, some may see them as a sign of you acting inappropriately. By not stopping them, you are allowing those questions and doubts of your fidelity to your current SO. He might never see them, he might believe you that it's all him, but he also might not. If you haven't told him about them yet, you should now, and explain how you intend to take care of it. Just to prevent any future issues of trust between you.

This...especially the latter. We are LD. Never met IRL. So I've told him, and he wants me to tell my ExSO to stop...if it weren't things like c'mere sexy and using the word love (which he only ever used towards me ONCE, in damn near two years) it might be worth letting slide.

Thanks for the advice ya'll....its good to see other thoughts. I am mailing the Ex and trying to find a good way to put it. Then I may end up deleting the account, as I have the EX and one other person I like to keep up with on FB.

Also: This place rocks....Even when giving advice that may not be what the OP wants to hear, everyone is so cool about being upfront. Thanks again!

Added: Hope the Ex takes this well..and doesn't go all drama king. He just started sharing stuff on FB which is where I messaged him since I hate Tagged's messaging...

[Carenza LaRue]

tell him to stop.... that is what I would do..

if he doesn't ... well..... delete your profile then.

btw....... nice piccy...... lovely lady!

[digitalfever]

I'd just delete the profile. Who knows his intentions and if your happy then just forget about it.