He tells me to work on my potbelly :(

[Jezah]

Did you read my posts? I HAVE expressed my anger and upset, we have discussed it together and the issue is resolved!!

To be fair, there is like FIVE pages of replies. Some people just respond to the original question, because not everyone has 20 minutes to read through the entire thread. Just saying

[Benni]

Some people just respond to the original question, because not everyone has 20 minutes to read through the entire thread.

Point taken I've never done that, I read through all posts before replying so I can see the progress of the help given and if there's a resolution or if they still need help or feedback.

[ThePiedPiper]

To everyone crying "abuse!", this is a far cry from it. This has not been one of a series of behaviours. This was not done with the intention to hurt her. He took a joke/statement about his pot use too far, and like some people, probably used it as a softer way to continue encouraging her to work on her belly. I'd also like to point out the fact that he had no knowledge of what the extra weight/skin was due to, either, as the OP had yet to communicate that.

To everyone bitching about saying he should think before he speaks, he's too old to be making comments like that, and so on, then you have to realise that we all have foot in mouth moments. The salsa instructor told me I'm improving in salsa, and then put his arm around mom and goes, "but you? You we have to work on" to which mom responded by punching him lightly and saying "thanks," to which his response was, "it's okay, she's younger, not old and creaky like us!" All I could think to say was "FOOT IN MOUTH, FOOT IN MOUTH. " But in all fairness, he also doesn't know how deep seeded my mother's issues with age actually are. Does this all of a sudden make him abusive and insensitive? Or does it simply mean that he took a joke too far? We've all done and we'll probably all do it again. There will be moments, even with your SO, that you wish you thought about it twice before it slipped out, but it's human nature to either speak impulsively or sometimes even misjudge the tone of a situation. He worked it out with her, he felt bad about it, he did not mean it in the way it came out, and that's all there is to it.

Also as far as always finding everything attractive about your SO... Eh. It's also human nature to at some point find flaws with even the person you love the most, and they won't always be character flaws either. For example, my ex was gaining more and more weight, and had we been together in person, I probably would have encouraged him to exercise with me since he also wanted to lose the weight. It wasn't that I was unattracted, but I liked the fact that he was healthy and fit before because it meant we could do more for longer without him resorting to complaining about how exhausted he was or how he couldn't handle what we were doing when my level of fitness allowed me to do more. I also do feel that he looked best at a glowing, healthy weight for his height and age, as did he, and I would assume that even though he was attracted to me when I was larger, he was more attracted to me when I started losing weight and toning up and becoming more an appropriate weight/size for my height. Neither of us were magazine perfect, but knowing we have even physical areas we could work on and being confident enough to own them helped a lot. The OPer's SO still finds her beautiful, but I think it's great that they have enough honesty between them to discuss where they could improve. His approach just needed a little work, that's all.

Simply wanted to hop in and defend the OP and her SO.

[Ciana]

I think most people use the 'I'm just concerned about your health' card to put it nicely that they would in fact prefer you leaner. There is nothing wrong with that and it doesn't mean you need to be magazine perfect, but make no mistake that he finds you more attractive when you work on yourself (with results showing) than when you don't.

I disagree with this for the most part, honestly. While of course there will be people out there that really think of only things like appearance, there are also the people who trully love eachother and literally worry for their health. I have diabetes and it is not controlled as well as it needs to be. While it has improved a huge amount in recent months, I have literally almost passed out from consistant high blood sugar for days on end. My SO was always there to keep me awake and calm until my mom got home or I simply dozed off from exhaustion. While this is not a true outright noticable health issue, it is still one that has affected me badly.
No hard feelings, just expressing how I feel. I know for a fact my SO worries for my health and if I really started gaining weight, he would probably tell me to work on if for my health.

[Benni]

To everyone crying "abuse!", this is a far cry from it. This has not been one of a series of behaviours. This was not done with the intention to hurt her. .........

Simply wanted to hop in and defend the OP and her SO.

......and thank you for your feedback, Ciana!

[Ciana]

......and thank you for your feedback, Ciana!

Haha, sorry for spamming your topic, honestly <//<

[Benni]

Haha, sorry for spamming your topic, honestly <//<

You didn't!!