who takes it harder after a visit, and how do you deal with it?

[temporaryuser]

I have a harder time with the actual leaving part. Once I am gone, I need to get back into that regular communication.
SO on the other hand, has no problem with the leaving, but it takes him about two weeks to readjust to the separation and wants to communicate very little. After roughly 2 weeks he settles back into it and we talk like usual.
i know everyone handles separation differently, and I try to give him his space. he readily admits to having trouble with the initial separation after a visit.
How about you?

[iHeartt]

I'm like you, I have a hard time with the actual leaving. And usually the next day (or later that same day) I'm ready to talk via phone or text again. He takes a day or so to get back into the regular calling, texting, etc. I guess its because we've been together for a period of time we don't have all that much to talk about.

[kayla_622]

I seem to be the one in the relationship that takes it harder or I may just be the one who shows it more. Usually I'm torn up the rest of that whole day and sometimes the next. We still talk like we normally do neither of us need space or anything its sort of the opposite with us and we tend to want to talk to each other a lot more for the next few days. After that we fall back into our normal routine. My SO doesn't ever show that he's sad I'm gone by like crying or anything he does tell me that he misses me a lot and things like that. I think everyone is different. Some want space and some just want to be a close to you as they virtually can.

[TwoThree]

It's always me who leaves. He hasn't visited me yet. I used to think that it was harder for me, because being with him is like a dream and I have to go back to harsh reality, but now I don't think so anymore. I go back to my family, my routine, etc. Life is just as it was before the trip. Him, on the other hand, has to adjust to not having me there anymore wreaking havoc in his everyday life. And he lives alone (his family is 160 km away), so it's that much more difficult to cope. I also have a tendency of leaving stuff all around his place, so it's not like he can forget I was there. Then again, several weeks after my return I still manage to find long blond hairs in my clothes

[Schlafmütze]

Oh, so good to read this!
My So went back home this past wednesday. He remained very calm and strong; but I, on the other side, was very sad and cried the previous days and at the airport.

It was a long and tiring journey for him, so we have only talked twice since he is home. From what I have sensed and felt, we are in the "adjusting phase". He doesn't sound/look so enthusiastic, but still wants to talk and makes time for it.

So, I think I am the one taking it harder after this visit. To deal with it and to blow the sadness away, I am focusing my thoughts on the plans we have for this year, I like looking at the pictures we took and try to remember the awesome memories, I read nice messages he has sent or my favorite ones, I talk to my friends and try to not stay alone for long periods of time.
I miss him, yes, but I have to keep looking forward =)

[Alsfia]

I think that I take it about as hard as my SO does... How hard we take it depends on if we know when we'll see eachother again i suppose

[Aaron]

I'm always the one doing the leaving part. How we deal with it is we just Skype the next day like usual, have lots of cuddle time and we don't usually talk about the trip and things in depth until a few weeks later. We do plan when roughly the next trip will be, though. So that's good.

[Malaga]

I think we both take it equally hard, maybe in the beginning it was easier for him to get distracted and put it out of his mind but the longer we're together the more he feels/shows it. Also, the longer the visit the harder it is to leave/cope with it.

In our relationship it's always harder for the person who stays behind. Leaving is difficult of course. But coming back to an empty flat, sleeping in an empty bed which you shared with them just last night; everything you see reminds you of the time and space you shared that is now so empty. The feeling of loss is stronger.

[lmfaomarie]

I left yesterday after coming down with a cold. It was our first meeting. I'm completely torn and I have no idea how anyone deals with this constantly.

[camlus]

Leaving is always so hard! My SO is actually leaving on Saturday...We will have been together for almost a month now. I'm always the one that has the hardest time at the start, but he has a harder time about two months into our time apart. At least we're lucky enough to see each other every 4 months! My SO always reminds me that another day apart is just another day closer to being in each other's arms again. He's great at keeping my spirits up!

[rach92g]

I definitely feel like I take it harder than he does. He is always the one that visits/leaves. Usually I'm able to hold it together until I get in the car after watching his plane leave, then I cry the whole way home. But this time I wasn't able to take him to the airport, so the last time I was able to see him was the night before he left, this past Thursday night. We were standing at my car, in the freezing cold, and I just broke down. I buried my head into his chest and cried for like 10 minutes. The whole time of course he was holding me and trying his best to comfort me, but there's not much he could do to make me feel any better. He did mangage to make me chuckle, but I still cried the whole way home after a few tearful kisses goodbye. It tears my world apart when he leaves. He doesn't show his emotions very much, so I have no idea if he's really that strong or if he's just being strong for me and breaks down when he's alone. I know it's equally as hard to be in an LDR for both parties involved, but I feel like I let it get to me more than he does.

[Moon]

Probably him, when I leave. Like TwoThree, my guy lives alone, and I have stuff everywhere at his place, whereas I have a full house I'm going back to. We used to need an adjustment period after a visit, but we've done it so many times now that we're used to it.

[ThePiedPiper]

I remember the leaving. It was hard, so hard. I left twice and he was the one to leave once. That one was the worst, I think, because there was nothing I was excited about coming home to. When I left Dublin, I had my mother, sister and pets to look forward to seeing. When he left here, I had already been here with my pets and my family... and my ex, so going back to a home where I'd settled into the routine of having him there was hard for me. I dealt with it with a lot of MSN time and cuddly language and he preferred to have phone time more than anything. It seemed harder for my ex to get used to typing/MSN again than it was for me.

[D.4C]

i can't say for sure..but i think it might be a little harder for me..i've never been in a ldr..so i struggle with the being away from her after we have been together..not so much when i am away from her at first...i do okay then...seems it is like a week after...that it really hits me hard...i miss the closeness so much...the holding hands...and snuggling...basically just being close to her...

[ushiwakafox]

Leaving for me the hardest it seems. Once I'm at where I'm going I usually settle fairly quickly. My SO it turns out actually has a hard time leaving too. He never had to until a few days ago when he left for basic training. He said all the goodbyes were tough and he didn't know what to do with himself while he was waiting to get started. He told me that before he went to bed at the hotel the day before BMT started, I felt bad for him because I know exactly how it feels to have to say goodbye to loved ones.