Move in together as soon as you closed the distance?
Would you?
Because, he's right. It would make so much more sense to move in together. He wants me to. Wants to wake up beside me and come home to me, he says. But I'm so afraid of the horror stories, you know? We dated for a second (ahem, 2 months) before he had to leave for medical residency. We've visited each other half-a-dozen times since (so six visits in eight months, so far). We're planning another couple of visits before the summer, which is the season we're thinking of closing this infernal distance.
I'm a nurse and he's a doctor, so we're both fairly set professionally. I don't plan on moving to him before acquiring a job there first. Neither of us are rich by any means since we're both fresh out of school (a year out of school, to be more accurate). We both have loans that we are paying off. I know this move will set me back thousands of dollars in addition to adjusting to a new job, new city, no family, no friends, etcetera. I have never done anything this drastically independent. I've done international moves, but always to and with family. I've moved out before but to live with an ex-boyfriend, and that ended horribly. I am not living with my parents now, but I am still living in my childhood home (my father left it to me after I graduated). My younger sisters still live with me, so there's always that sense of safety, of being home and with family.
I have a very hyper dog.
So on the one hand, it would be so much simpler on my wallet and my nerves if I moved in with him. It's what he wants. We would've been dating for a year, so it technically makes sense. On the other hand, shouldn't I be trying to live on my own first? Wouldn't it be too much of a crazy culture shock for him to be living with his girlfriend and her insanely happy dog all of a sudden when we've barely spent a solid amount of time really getting to know each other beyond the whirlwind summer romance, the honeymoon vacations and the nightly skype conversations?
Keep in mind, guys, I want to marry this guy one day and I really don't want to jeopardize that, lol! I'm so torn. I want to be with him. There's no doubt about that. And financially, I'm not quite "there" yet. But I don't want to put our relationship at risk by allowing us to move too fast. What are your thoughts?
Would you?
Because, he's right. It would make so much more sense to move in together. He wants me to. Wants to wake up beside me and come home to me, he says. But I'm so afraid of the horror stories, you know? We dated for a second (ahem, 2 months) before he had to leave for medical residency. We've visited each other half-a-dozen times since (so six visits in eight months, so far). We're planning another couple of visits before the summer, which is the season we're thinking of closing this infernal distance.
I'm a nurse and he's a doctor, so we're both fairly set professionally. I don't plan on moving to him before acquiring a job there first. Neither of us are rich by any means since we're both fresh out of school (a year out of school, to be more accurate). We both have loans that we are paying off. I know this move will set me back thousands of dollars in addition to adjusting to a new job, new city, no family, no friends, etcetera. I have never done anything this drastically independent. I've done international moves, but always to and with family. I've moved out before but to live with an ex-boyfriend, and that ended horribly. I am not living with my parents now, but I am still living in my childhood home (my father left it to me after I graduated). My younger sisters still live with me, so there's always that sense of safety, of being home and with family.
I have a very hyper dog.
So on the one hand, it would be so much simpler on my wallet and my nerves if I moved in with him. It's what he wants. We would've been dating for a year, so it technically makes sense. On the other hand, shouldn't I be trying to live on my own first? Wouldn't it be too much of a crazy culture shock for him to be living with his girlfriend and her insanely happy dog all of a sudden when we've barely spent a solid amount of time really getting to know each other beyond the whirlwind summer romance, the honeymoon vacations and the nightly skype conversations?
Keep in mind, guys, I want to marry this guy one day and I really don't want to jeopardize that, lol! I'm so torn. I want to be with him. There's no doubt about that. And financially, I'm not quite "there" yet. But I don't want to put our relationship at risk by allowing us to move too fast. What are your thoughts?
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