Feeling neglected

[KyleTheMan]

Hello. My name is Kyle. I've been using this website on and off for a while but i never thought about joining the community. I have a problem and i would really appreciate some advice from some people with more experience than me. I'm not sure if this is the proper section for this but here i go!

I'll give you guys first an extremely brief history about my relationship. I met my girlfriend on the internet on a gaming forum around 2 years ago. We became best friends. Eventually around January of this year, i fell in love with her. I told her about it and we became a couple three months later. It took her quite sometime to search her feelings as well as to overcome the whole weirdness about being in a long distance relationship. Especially since we're so far away. I live around the Caribbeans and she lives in Asia. But we love each other and we want to work hard to make this work. No matter how long it takes.

At least that's what i think. She's always been pretty cold. She tells me she's always been like that but shes trying to be more affectionate for me. But ever since we became serious, i've done it all. Sent her lots of photos, videos, gifts, helped her with her university projects as much as i could, been as romantic as possible by writing her poems and sending her love letters as well as some other things i got from this website. I've tried my best to keep her happy and she says she is. She says i'm the best boyfriend ever. I've done my best to make her happy out of the goodness of my heart. I don't expect much from her in return but...

A relationship is about two people working together to make each other happy right? I feel like i'm the only one putting in an effort. We've been a couple for 5 months now. But we've known each other for 2 years, 3 years on November. She's only sent me around 5 photos (one of these is a pack of around 20 photos, but they're all the same but in different angles) of her in all this time. I've sent her around hundreds by now. We've only talked via voice chat once. We've talked on the phone once even though i'm the one paying the long distance bill. I've sent her gifts, lots of them. Videos. I gave her a video camera so she could film me videos. She hasn't used it and refuses to use it. I bought a webcam and so she could see me. We had fun and i offered to buy her one. She doesn't want one.

I feel like i'm doing the best i can to make the relationship work but i don't feel like i'm getting anything in return. I'm not really asking for much from her. Just a couple of pictures on this week, a video next week, a couple of phone calls every now and then. I'm not asking for much.

We have an open relationship. We talk about everything. Even sex and our future together. We hope to get married one day. But i don't feel like i can talk to her about this just yet. She's extremely sensitive. Last time i brought this up she felt so bad she almost dumped me. She said she didn't mean it. But still, i would like to avoid making her sad if i don't have to.

But i need some advice. I'm i being impatient? Or is there something i need to do? My birthday was a few weeks ago. She offered to buy me something. I said she didn't have to but she insisted. I still haven't received anything. Not even a letter, which is what i really wanted the most.

Basically i feel neglected. She's happy with our relationship but i'm not. Sometimes i feel like i'm starting to fall out of love. I used to do my exercises with her picture on my PC monitor (I exercise in my bedroom). Now i don't even do that. I don't even put music when i exercise anymore. What should i do? Should i talk to her about this? Am i just being impatient? Maybe this is totally normal? I don't know!

[LadyMarchHare]

First off there's really no way to go about this without hurting her in some form because she obviously believes that things are fine as they are and you've let it go on for so long without saying a word, which is normal none of us want to sound needy or demanding by asking they try to match not quite half of the things we do for them for the sheer fact we love them.

Does your girl have a microphone? You two could just voice chat in Skype instead of using the phone and there is a feature with Skype where you can call an actual number, but you do have to pay. It may be cheaper than dealing with the phone bill charges, so it could be something to look into. Also, do you know why she won't use the video camera and why she refuses to get a webcam? Is she shy, nervous, what? There might be a deeper reason to it, it's just a manner of asking.

As for getting her to 'open up', the best way I can think of is coming clean with it as plainly as possible. You feel like the scales are not being balanced in terms of these displays of random affection. You're not asking she buy you expensive things or send you letters every day, but maybe she could at least agree to the thing we have here where you send your SO a love letter every month. Regular letter mail, even international, isn't that expensive and there are plenty of ideas floating around here so they wouldn't always be the same thing. Maybe even ask her if she's ever thought of doing these things and why she doesn't. I know you mentioned she's 'cold', but being in a relationship means you're trying new things and sometimes going out of your comfort zone just for the one person. You shouldn't feel unloved and neglected, but it's very important stuff like this gets talked about even if it sparks fights. If she almost dumped you over something that wasn't even an argument, how is she going to handle the dreaded 'couple fights'? Sounds like she may have some issues that need sorting either by having them talked out or her at least seeing a counselor.

[Belle]

In my opinion, you should definitely talk to her about it. Its important that both people in a relationship put in the effort to make the relationship work. This is especially important in a long distance relationship. I wasnt positive i wanted to be in one either. But, when i decided to give it a real chance, i gave it all i got. You have to be able to feel important, special, loved and even wanted when youre in a relationship. Thats why all the little things are so important in a long distance relationship. With no physical contact, you show your feelings through efforts to communicate, gifts, letters and/or visiting if possible. I think that you show that you care about her very much and its sad that you dont feel like she is doing the same. There might be something holding her back and its important for you to know whats going on. You shouldnt feel neglected by the person you love.
Good luck with everything and welcome to the LFAD community. You will find a lot of useful support with the members here. =)

[KyleTheMan]

First off there's really no way to go about this without hurting her in some form because she obviously believes that things are fine as they are and you've let it go on for so long without saying a word, which is normal none of us want to sound needy or demanding by asking they try to match not quite half of the things we do for them for the sheer fact we love them.

Does your girl have a microphone? You two could just voice chat in Skype instead of using the phone and there is a feature with Skype where you can call an actual number, but you do have to pay. It may be cheaper than dealing with the phone bill charges, so it could be something to look into. Also, do you know why she won't use the video camera and why she refuses to get a webcam? Is she shy, nervous, what? There might be a deeper reason to it, it's just a manner of asking.

As for getting her to 'open up', the best way I can think of is coming clean with it as plainly as possible. You feel like the scales are not being balanced in terms of these displays of random affection. You're not asking she buy you expensive things or send you letters every day, but maybe she could at least agree to the thing we have here where you send your SO a love letter every month. Regular letter mail, even international, isn't that expensive and there are plenty of ideas floating around here so they wouldn't always be the same thing. Maybe even ask her if she's ever thought of doing these things and why she doesn't. I know you mentioned she's 'cold', but being in a relationship means you're trying new things and sometimes going out of your comfort zone just for the one person. You shouldn't feel unloved and neglected, but it's very important stuff like this gets talked about even if it sparks fights. If she almost dumped you over something that wasn't even an argument, how is she going to handle the dreaded 'couple fights'? Sounds like she may have some issues that need sorting either by having them talked out or her at least seeing a counselor.

First of all, thank you for the quick reply. You're right, We cant fix this without talking about it. Which will lead to her being hurt.

Yes does indeed have a microphone. She bought it so we could talk on Skype. The first microphone she had didn't work so she went as far as to buy another so we could talk. We talked and it was fun for us both. She was really shy during the conversation. But we haven't talked since. She says its because her PC is near the living room, which her mother is always around. She doesn't like it when other people hear her speak English. So we decided that for her privacy i would call her cellphone. We talked again, once. The phone call quality was very bad. We had a hard time understanding what we said. But eventually we got used to it and we had fun talking. We haven't talked since. She says shes busy.

I have no idea about the video camera. I don't even know what she did with it. She says she doesn't like being filmed. She also says she doesn't like talking to herself or to a camera. About the webcam, i'm not sure. I haven't asked since i try not to push this subject. If i had to guess it would be for the same reason we don't voice chat on Skype. Her mother is around the living room where her PC is located. Which makes her uncomfortable.

You're right. I do need to speak with her about this. I did suggest the love letter a month thing. Her reply was, if i remember "I'm not sure about that". Yeah, she's cold. She's pretty stubborn too. But i love that about her... her stubbornness i mean, even though her coldness can be cute sometimes. She's been more affectionate this past few weeks. Gave me a couple of nicknames which i thought where sweet. But lately it stopped and she's back to normal. Maybe she realizes she needs to do more for me and is trying her best.

I will say something about her though that keeps me loving her. She's always willing to listen to everything i have to say. Every time i have a problem with work, she's always there to listen and offer advice. She's always there to support me on my bad times and is there to cheer on my achievements.

I just miss her sometimes even though we talk everyday on AIM. I want to see her more, hear her voice. Its understandable that i feel this way, right?

[LadyMarchHare]

First of all, thank you for the quick reply. You're right, We cant fix this without talking about it. Which will lead to her being hurt.

Yes does indeed have a microphone. She bought it so we could talk on Skype. The first microphone she had didn't work so she went as far as to buy another so we could talk. We talked and it was fun for us both. She was really shy during the conversation. But we haven't talked since. She says its because her PC is near the living room, which her mother is always around. She doesn't like it when other people hear her speak English. So we decided that for her privacy i would call her cellphone. We talked again, once. The phone call quality was very bad. We had a hard time understanding what we said. But eventually we got used to it and we had fun talking. We haven't talked since. She says shes busy.

I have no idea about the video camera. I don't even know what she did with it. She says she doesn't like being filmed. She also says she doesn't like talking to herself or to a camera. About the webcam, i'm not sure. I haven't asked since i try not to push this subject. If i had to guess it would be for the same reason we don't voice chat on Skype. Her mother is around the living room where her PC is located. Which makes her uncomfortable.

You're right. I do need to speak with her about this. I did suggest the love letter a month thing. Her reply was, if i remember "I'm not sure about that". Yeah, she's cold. She's pretty stubborn too. But i love that about her... her stubbornness i mean, even though her coldness can be cute sometimes. She's been more affectionate this past few weeks. Gave me a couple of nicknames which i thought where sweet. But lately it stopped and she's back to normal. Maybe she realizes she needs to do more for me and is trying her best.

I will say something about her though that keeps me loving her. She's always willing to listen to everything i have to say. Every time i have a problem with work, she's always there to listen and offer advice. She's always there to support me on my bad times and is there to cheer on my achievements.

I just miss her sometimes even though we talk everyday on AIM. I want to see her more, hear her voice. Its understandable that i feel this way, right?

I can understand her being uncomfortable with someone else, especially a parent, in the room and especially if said parent does not know about the relationship. Is her mother always at home when you two have time to talk? If at all possible you two could try and work in skype conversations when she isn't home, if she's willing to do this. I know the bad connection of the phone may be putting her off or, again, it could be shyness. It's very different typing everything you say compared to actually talking because you can't delete anything and nerves can sometimes make us say really stupid things we get embarrassed over, or not think at all. I know I tend to ramble the few times I've spoken with my SO via phone but I still enjoy hearing his voice if nothing else. Perhaps you could try having her wear headphones and letting you talk to her and she can type replies either in AIM or the text chat feature on Skype. You wouldn't be hearing her voice, but it may make her more comfortable if she has issues letting you hear hers.

At the very least you suggested it and you can give her time to think about it and then ask again later and suggest maybe you guys try it at least once to see if it's something you could do if not every month then maybe every other month or however often she thinks she could comfortably send the letters. And yes, it's very understandable that you want just a bit more than an IM conversation every day. It's not only something different, but seeing their face or hearing their voice can make you feel like the distance isn't so great between you. I know with webcam sessions I always feel like I could reach into my monitor and touch my SO and that it's comforting to not only hear their voice, but watch them talk and just relax visibly with you.

[KyleTheMan]

I can understand her being uncomfortable with someone else, especially a parent, in the room and especially if said parent does not know about the relationship. Is her mother always at home when you two have time to talk? If at all possible you two could try and work in skype conversations when she isn't home, if she's willing to do this. I know the bad connection of the phone may be putting her off or, again, it could be shyness. It's very different typing everything you say compared to actually talking because you can't delete anything and nerves can sometimes make us say really stupid things we get embarrassed over, or not think at all. I know I tend to ramble the few times I've spoken with my SO via phone but I still enjoy hearing his voice if nothing else. Perhaps you could try having her wear headphones and letting you talk to her and she can type replies either in AIM or the text chat feature on Skype. You wouldn't be hearing her voice, but it may make her more comfortable if she has issues letting you hear hers.

At the very least you suggested it and you can give her time to think about it and then ask again later and suggest maybe you guys try it at least once to see if it's something you could do if not every month then maybe every other month or however often she thinks she could comfortably send the letters. And yes, it's very understandable that you want just a bit more than an IM conversation every day. It's not only something different, but seeing their face or hearing their voice can make you feel like the distance isn't so great between you. I know with webcam sessions I always feel like I could reach into my monitor and touch my SO and that it's comforting to not only hear their voice, but watch them talk and just relax visibly with you.

Well she always tells me that her mother is always around, all the time. Her mother knows about our relationship and knows how serious we are about it. I've spoken to her sister via e-mail as well who is like her second mother to her. Her entire family knows and approves of our relationship. But yeah, she can still feel shy when she speaks to me with them around. Especially since she's not used to speaking English around people.

We've done that a lot of times in the past. Me talking to her via voice chat while she replies on AIM. I was on vacation and the laptop i had with me had a webcam. We talked like that. She could see me and hear me and she replied via instant message. I told her that i don't mind doing that more often since we both had fun and we laughed. She said "Yeah, maybe". Maybe she's worried her mother will see? But then again, her mother and sister have seen my pictures and my videos. They know how i look like. Its understandable that she would feel shy, but to completely stop doing these things?

Like i said, i used to make her private videos too. So she could see me at the mall and doing other things. Eventually she stopped watching them. She still hasn't seen my last 3 videos. Privacy was not an issue here. She would watch them on her PSP, a handheld device. The last gifts i sent her came with a letter like i always send her. She hasn't read it yet. I sent those gifts more than a month ago. She hasn't read the letter. But she did take the gifts and is happily using them, i'm glad she liked them so much that she completely ignored the letter...!

Ah, that's good. I was afraid i was being too demanding. Asking for too much. I guess not. I love talking to her via IM. But i want more. I want to see her and hear her voice sometimes too. I'm planning a visit to her country by the time i graduate from my university and get a job. Something we'll have to wait a year or so for. Last time we talked about this, when i said she almost left me, she came to the conclusion that i was being impatient. That i should wait for that day first. That she will do more for me eventually when she's ready.

But i cant imagine her fear of letting her own mother see her talk to her boyfriend being so paralyzing. If my dad was near to me while i voice chatted with her, i would still do it, annoyed but i would still do it.

[KyleTheMan]

In my opinion, you should definitely talk to her about it. Its important that both people in a relationship put in the effort to make the relationship work. This is especially important in a long distance relationship. I wasnt positive i wanted to be in one either. But, when i decided to give it a real chance, i gave it all i got. You have to be able to feel important, special, loved and even wanted when youre in a relationship. Thats why all the little things are so important in a long distance relationship. With no physical contact, you show your feelings through efforts to communicate, gifts, letters and/or visiting if possible. I think that you show that you care about her very much and its sad that you dont feel like she is doing the same. There might be something holding her back and its important for you to know whats going on. You shouldnt feel neglected by the person you love.
Good luck with everything and welcome to the LFAD community. You will find a lot of useful support with the members here. =)

Thank you. I do care about her a lot. She's the best friend i've ever had and the love of my life. But the fact is i do feel neglected. She's busy with her university studies as well. We're both busy but still, i try my best and i always have time to film her quick video for her, write her a letter or to send her something. I just wish she did the same.

Thank you for welcoming me to the community. I feel comfortable here. You two have been very nice and understanding. I'm sure i'll enjoy it here.

[MTK]

I will definitely recommend that you talk to her about this, all of this.
After reading your posts i get the feeling that even though you are madly in love with her you are not happy. Also to me it feels like she not really into the relationship, i think you might be looking for justifications for her behavior, to make it seem like she's doing certain things out of love.
As you said, in a relationship two people has to work together to make it a succes and to me, from the information i garnered from your posts, it seems like you are doing all the work and she's not making an effort. I can understand if she is shy but honestly after 2 years and only one voice chats and barely any pictures something must be up.

I can't stress enough that you have to talk to her about it. You are not happy and she needs to know that, she needs to know how her behaviour affects you.

[LadyMarchHare]

Well she always tells me that her mother is always around, all the time. Her mother knows about our relationship and knows how serious we are about it. I've spoken to her sister via e-mail as well who is like her second mother to her. Her entire family knows and approves of our relationship. But yeah, she can still feel shy when she speaks to me with them around. Especially since she's not used to speaking English around people.

We've done that a lot of times in the past. Me talking to her via voice chat while she replies on AIM. I was on vacation and the laptop i had with me had a webcam. We talked like that. She could see me and hear me and she replayed via instant message. I told her that i don't mind doing that more often since we both had fun and we laughed. She said "Yeah, maybe". Maybe she's worried her mother will see? But then again, her mother and sister have seen my pictures and my videos. They know how i look like. Its understandable that she would feel shy, but to completely stop doing these things?

Like i said, i used to make her private videos too. So she could see me at the mall and doing other things. Eventually she stopped watching them. She still hasn't seen my last 3 videos. Privacy was not an issue here. She would watch them on her PSP, a handheld device. The last gifts i sent her came with a letter like i always send her. She hasn't read it yet. I sent those gifts more than a month ago. She hasn't read the letter. But she did take the gifts and is happily using them, i'm glad she liked them so much that she completely ignored the letter...!

Ah, that's good. I was afraid i was being too demanding. Asking for too much. I guess not. I love talking to her via IM. But i want more. I want to see her and hear her voice sometimes too. I'm planning a visit to her country by the time i graduate from my university and get a job. Something we'll have to wait a year or so for. Last time we talked about this, when i said she almost left me, she came to the conclusion that i was being impatient. That i should wait for that day first. That she will do more for me eventually when she's ready.

But i cant imagine her fear of letting her own mother see her talk to her boyfriend being so paralyzing. If my dad was near to me while i voice chatted with her, i would still do it, annoyed but i would still do it.

There might be an unvoiced reason as to why she feels the need to hide these things. Perhaps she feels somewhat ashamed that she has an online relationship? I know it's not exactly something to advertise to everyone but if even after gaining the support of her family that seems like the only reason I can think of. In that case it's purely her and nothing you've done since you cannot exactly help where you are in the world when you find the person you want to be with. It may also be why she's stopped being willing to do things such as watch your videos or even talk on the phone. From what you mention it sounds like she's got her heels dug in pretty deep in the dirt and won't budge from where she is either emotionally or otherwise to meet you halfway on some things or at least communicate her reasoning for these actions either at all or more clearly. Pardon the assumption I assume she speaks somewhat fluent English since I know many Asian countries require it in schools as much as their own language. If that's not the case there may be some frustration on how to translate her feelings and reactions in a way you'll understand and that she knows is accurate.

And to reply to her conclusion of you being impatient, it is extremely hard to be patient about seeing the one you love when they're so many miles away that you can't just hop in the car and be there in time for lunch. Every day is a struggle and everyone complains here and there about not talking to their SO in x amount of hours or days and people often don't see their SOs more than twice a year if that in person. The thing that holds us back beside money is fear because plenty here (myself included) are insecure about ourselves and we fear rejection upon sight. Does it take away the burning desire to see them or at the very least hear their voice every day? No. It's not impatience, it's wanting to do what you see everyone else doing: holding hands, smiling, and having the comfort of a physical presence. You have to work within your budget and schedule for visits, but it's always advised to see them as soon as you can. Perhaps she needs the moment of truth when you're both in the same room to finally open up enough to be more outwardly affectionate. Still it sounds like she has some deep-rooted problems she isn't voicing that may clear up some confusion between you two.

[KyleTheMan]

There might be an unvoiced reason as to why she feels the need to hide these things. Perhaps she feels somewhat ashamed that she has an online relationship? I know it's not exactly something to advertise to everyone but if even after gaining the support of her family that seems like the only reason I can think of. In that case it's purely her and nothing you've done since you cannot exactly help where you are in the world when you find the person you want to be with. It may also be why she's stopped being willing to do things such as watch your videos or even talk on the phone. From what you mention it sounds like she's got her heels dug in pretty deep in the dirt and won't budge from where she is either emotionally or otherwise to meet you halfway on some things or at least communicate her reasoning for these actions either at all or more clearly. Pardon the assumption I assume she speaks somewhat fluent English since I know many Asian countries require it in schools as much as their own language. If that's not the case there may be some frustration on how to translate her feelings and reactions in a way you'll understand and that she knows is accurate.

And to reply to her conclusion of you being impatient, it is extremely hard to be patient about seeing the one you love when they're so many miles away that you can't just hop in the car and be there in time for lunch. Every day is a struggle and everyone complains here and there about not talking to their SO in x amount of hours or days and people often don't see their SOs more than twice a year if that in person. The thing that holds us back beside money is fear because plenty here (myself included) are insecure about ourselves and we fear rejection upon sight. Does it take away the burning desire to see them or at the very least hear their voice every day? No. It's not impatience, it's wanting to do what you see everyone else doing: holding hands, smiling, and having the comfort of a physical presence. You have to work within your budget and schedule for visits, but it's always advised to see them as soon as you can. Perhaps she needs the moment of truth when you're both in the same room to finally open up enough to be more outwardly affectionate. Still it sounds like she has some deep-rooted problems she isn't voicing that may clear up some confusion between you two.

Your assumption is correct. She is fluent in English, we talk all the time in English on IM. She just hasn't gotten enough real life practice so sometimes she pronounces words oddly. She tells me to correct her when she does that. I do and we both have fun. Its really no big deal. English isn't my primary language either, even though she says i'm better at it than her, i too pronounce things wrong sometimes. Its just a matter of practicing. She does get stuck sometimes but i always tell her to take her time looking for the right words.

You're right. Its not easy at all. I have hope that we'll get through any problems. She always tells me to tell her anything. To talk to her about anything. So it seems the popular opinion is for me to talk to her about this. I'll talk to her as soon as i can and i'll let you all know how it goes. Hopefully it'll go well.

Thank you all for the support. You've all been very kind.

[KyleTheMan]

I will definitely recommend that you talk to her about this, all of this.
After reading your posts i get the feeling that even though you are madly in love with her you are not happy. Also to me it feels like she not really into the relationship, i think you might be looking for justifications for her behavior, to make it seem like she's doing certain things out of love.
As you said, in a relationship two people has to work together to make it a succes and to me, from the information i garnered from your posts, it seems like you are doing all the work and she's not making an effort. I can understand if she is shy but honestly after 2 years and only one voice chats and barely any pictures something must be up.

I can't stress enough that you have to talk to her about it. You are not happy and she needs to know that, she needs to know how her behaviour affects you.

Thank you for your post. You are right, i do love her but i don't feel happy. I want to see her and hear her more. Personality wise we are both nearly identical. Raised the same way, we have the same hobbies, have the same opinions on important subjects. Its like, at the risk of sounding cheesy, like we where meant for each other. So i do love her and it is for that reason why i want to see her more and hear her voice.

We constantly plan our future together. Where we'll live, what job we'll get, children, sex, all the things we'll do when we're together. So in that regard i'm happy. I'm happy with her but something is missing. We know where we started and where we want to go. But the middle feels empty. For me at least. If i talk to her about this she'll most likely tell me she feels satisfied with the relationship like she told me last time i asked her. But for me, yeah, the topic says it all. I feel neglected.

I'll talk to her about this. She'll no doubt feel terrible like last time. No matter how sensitive and carefully i approach the subject. But it cant be helped. I'm doing the best i can to make her happy. I want her do at least try to do the same.

Thank you.

[5000miles]

I'm not saying anything that hasn't already been said, but I'll just say this; Communication is key in any relationship. Particularly in a LDR because we don't have the convienance of reading body language and stuff like that. So my suggestion is just to talk to her about it and tell her how it's making you feel. It might hurt her feelings, but it's hurting you to keep quiet, and that's not fair either. You could end up fighting or it could push your relationship over the edge, but in the end, it's worth it. Good luck and welcome to the forum.

[Gurl]

Kyle,
I wonder if the problem is something as simple as you two showing love in different ways. There are a million ways to show someone you love them. It seems like she shows her love by being your support system, by listening, by planning for the future. You don't make future plans with someone who is just a friend right?

I know it is hard..my SO is somewhat like yours. He has never said he loves me in words, but he says it in actions. We've been apart for 11 months. I've heard his voice less than 5 times, seen him even fewer times. I am okay-ish with that. I know that he is there for me, and that's what counts the most for me.

I hope you two are able to find a compromise that helps you to feel more loved, because it sounds like you two have a good thing going. Best of luck.

[LadyMarchHare]

Kyle,
I wonder if the problem is something as simple as you two showing love in different ways. There are a million ways to show someone you love them. It seems like she shows her love by being your support system, by listening, by planning for the future. You don't make future plans with someone who is just a friend right?

I know it is hard..my SO is somewhat like yours. He has never said he loves me in words, but he says it in actions. We've been apart for 11 months. I've heard his voice less than 5 times, seen him even fewer times. I am okay-ish with that. I know that he is there for me, and that's what counts the most for me.

I hope you two are able to find a compromise that helps you to feel more loved, because it sounds like you two have a good thing going. Best of luck.

I actually thought the same thing at first since that what it initially sounded like, but him adding on that she is acting rather stand-offish about talking to him or at the very least trying new things for him like the camera (not to mention her not reading the letter he sent her) makes me think otherwise. Sure it could be a factor, but it doesn't cover the whole picture.

[Rhiavaan]

My first reaction was woah, alot of red flags, then I sat back an analyzed. She's Asian, my Asian friend is always ice cold and stand offish. He never smiles nor loosens up, so to speak. Well, that is until he fell in love with his gf. At first, he acted the same as Kyle's gal but she got him to loosen up. I think a long talk, broached carefully would work wonders. Heck, she's unbent enough to talk via mic. Who knows, we might see Kyle posting in a year that they are going to visit. Good luck Kyle and welcome to the forum. ^_^