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Would you do it again?

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    #31
    I can say maybe, but I am leaning towards probably not, if not my SO. I would need the other person to be able to more on same level of ability to share the travel and more of a choice as to which country we ended up in. I don't mind certain aspects of it, but I do for some of them it is just so WEARING on myself as a person. I guess never say never but in the long run I cannot really know until that time comes. I just plan on not ever having to think that way as sure most are too. Some people are better cut out at handling the LDRs, I don't think I am one of them. This being said, if my SO moved the moon I guess I would find a way to get on the next rocket.
    "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
    Benjamin Franklin

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      #32
      Never again. Avoiding it for sure.

      Before this I've been in a 'normal' close distance relationship for 5 years and not having my SO close to me is an exception I'm only willing to make once...
      It just hurts so much to be away from the one you love, no matter how 'close' you become.

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        #33
        Yea, no. After my last relationship ended I swore off LDRs. I couldn't deal with the distance, the travel or the heartbreak again. I am very happy in my CDR now.I like the closeness, and I like being able to see him everyday. I just couldn't see myself going back to that.

        But power to all of you who are strong enough to persevere through an LDR and close the distance. You guys are so strong and I admire you.
        "You want for myself
        You get me like no one else
        I am beautiful with you

        I am beautiful with you
        Even in the darkest part of me
        I am beautiful with you
        Make it feel the way it's supposed to be
        You're here with me
        Just show me this and I'll believe
        I am beautiful with you"

        -Halestorm

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          #34
          Originally posted by Safihre View Post
          Never again. Avoiding it for sure.

          Before this I've been in a 'normal' close distance relationship for 5 years and not having my SO close to me is an exception I'm only willing to make once...
          It just hurts so much to be away from the one you love, no matter how 'close' you become.
          Have to ask, are you planning on closing it in NL or USA? I am about 5 minutes away from the border of Maryland in Delaware in USA and SO is in Netherlands, it is like you two are our mirror image. LOL.
          "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
          Benjamin Franklin

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            #35
            I'd definitely do it again, with the right person who understands the pressures of LDRs and is willing to be patient. I'm more comfortable being myself online than I am in person. I'm always hiding behind a book and don't say so much as two words to anyone ;x For me, its a great way to loosen up and really get to know someone.
            “The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply… meant to be.” - Grey’s Anatomy


            >Little Box<



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              #36
              For him, yes. For anybody else? Forget it.
              Made it official: 12-01-10
              First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
              Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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                #37
                Definitely not. At least not internationally. If can see each other at weekends, yes sure. I did that with my ex for years and it wasn't a biggie at all. But that's the most I'd do.

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                  #38
                  Originally posted by lucybelle View Post
                  100xs over do it again. It was worth it.
                  Originally posted by Moon View Post
                  I would, depending.

                  The depending part...One thing I've learned from LFAD is that I would not have an LDR with someone in a country that's difficult to visit. If I had to apply for visas every time, and pay a high fee to do it, along with huge travel times, I just wouldn't be interested, no matter what. I'm OK with LD so long as I can actually visit them, without a lot of hassle.
                  What they said!

                  I hope I won't have to, but if we either had to go long distance again or we would break up and I'd meet someone else and for whatever reasons we'd have to be long distance... I'd do it again. I didn't seek out an LDR, I just happened to fall in love and then had to move away from the city (and country) we lived in at the time. I'd do it again with the same conditions I had when I went long distance with my boyfriend. That we can meet at least once a month average and that we eventually close the distance.

                  Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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                    #39
                    I'm not sure. I have done LD twice and at this point, I am not really sure I feel any desire to date at all, not because of the LDRs, but because of several reasons, the least of which is not that I am enjoying doing me. If I did date again, I would like to try dating locally or at least within the same country and get over my idea that I don't find American boys attractive/date-worthy, but I also spend a lot of time networking online at this point so while I want to say I wouldn't go searching for a LDR, sometimes the feelings just develop and there's nothing you can do about them. Would I pursue it? I don't know. I've done the thing where I've paid 100% for someone and poured thousands of dollars into my relationship and there's no way I could afford to do that again, especially considering there's a lot I need to start saving for. I'm at a point in my life where I'm getting serious about getting my B.S. in Pre-Vet Science and then going on to vet school, and that doesn't leave a whole lot of money for everything else.

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                      #40
                      Originally posted by Hollandia View Post
                      Have to ask, are you planning on closing it in NL or USA? I am about 5 minutes away from the border of Maryland in Delaware in USA and SO is in Netherlands, it is like you two are our mirror image. LOL.
                      Haha Well, she first has the finish last year of college so after that we can decide, she's not bound by any location. I'm almost done with my Master's in the Netherlands so I'm quite flexible as well.. Could be anywhere

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                        #41
                        Great question... this is my 2nd LDR, and after the first one, I said I would never do it again, and that was only a 4 hour drive or hour flight apart.

                        If someone would have told me that I would be dating someone that is in another COUNTRY for 8 months out of the year, I would have surely told them they were bananas. In fact, I turned him down for three months because of the distance. Thank goodness he was persistent!

                        For the right person, yes I would. Thankfully, I feel like I have met someone I can trust and that is mature enough to handle a LDR (sometimes even when I'm not sure I can handle it).

                        It's hard to be apart from your SO, but it makes the time you spend together just that much more special. Besides, I always feel like I have something to look forward to, and that makes the waiting not-so-bad.

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                          #42
                          I'd lean towards no rather than yes. I only agreed to the one I'm in because we had been together for over a year when he left and it was worth a shot. I'm not someone who would fall in love online, so I wouldn't get in a LDR that way. But if I had a new boyfriend and a similar circumstance happened (as in he had to go away for a definite amount of time) then I might do it again. It would have to be a hell of a guy though!

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                            #43
                            Originally posted by Black_Halloween View Post
                            For him, yes. For anybody else? Forget it.
                            I agree ! I really hope I don't have to think about having another relationship other than with my SO.
                            IF i had to, then no I probably wouldn't. Not internationally and not European/African. But he's worth it to me !
                            Then again, I never thought I would get myself into something like this in the first place.. so you never know

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                              #44
                              God forbid but if it didnt work out with my SO, I def would try and avoid another LDR, I'm finding this one extremely tough and dont think I want to go through this again, that being said you cant help who you fall for so we'll see haha

                              "A thousand miles seems pretty far, but they got planes and trains and cars, I'd walk to you if I had no other way"

                              First visit 23/08/2012 - 05/09/2012
                              Second visit scheduled May 2013
                              Ended relationship August 2013

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                                #45
                                Yes to my SO, even if the long distance would be from Earth to Mars.

                                NO to anyone else. I didn't know that this can be REALLY hard, and I think I don't want this setup to happen to me again. I am a touchy person, and the 8,000 miles distance between us is killing me.

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