Missed Birthday

[Chris516]

According to the ticker Chris516 is in Maryland, which means it's 7:43am on 5/17. His SO is in New Mexico, which is 2 hours behind, so... it's 5:43 there. She might not even be awake yet.

ETA: Like I said in my first post, I know it's just being picky.

Correct on location, and time zone difference. Being picky, that is debatable. I am not so sure I am not. But I am not convinced I am, either. Because, I would think in an LDR, that remembering an SO's birthday is really important.

[digitalfever]

Correct on location, and time zone difference. Being picky, that is debatable. I am not so sure I am not. But I am not convinced I am, either. Because, I would think in an LDR, that remembering an SO's birthday is really important.

I have to disagree.

Birthdays are not unique events. Everyone has one. Whole it's always nice to feel remembered, loved and celebrated there is no obligation to do so and you shouldn't EXPECT your SO to congratulate you within te constraints of your deadline.

You're in a LD which means sometimes communication doesn't happen even on your birthday. She'll say something eventually and till then I suggest you cut yourself some cake and your SO some slack.

[MissButterfly]

Correct on location, and time zone difference. Being picky, that is debatable. I am not so sure I am not. But I am not convinced I am, either. Because, I would think in an LDR, that remembering an SO's birthday is really important.

Well yes but at that point, lyonsgirl was just saying that I wouldn't expect anyone to be awake before 6 am on a week day just because it's your birthday. Now we're hours later, but at that time you were freaking out because she hadn't contacted you even though it was still really early in the morning. That is why people reacted the way they did, because that is kind of weird. When do you usually talk? I'm sure she hasn't forgotten, and even if she has, like others said, it's not a thing to 'test' her on to be honest. People forget things, some people more then others. Even if she did forget, she'll probably be very sorry about it.

[Chris516]

I'll wish the OP a Happy Birthday:

So I just wanted to warn you that you should:


And it's because:



So I just wanted to say




So you didn't feel like



Anyways...,

Thanks for the laugh, I needed that.

[Chris516]

Digitalfever - that was the best!

Happy birthday Chris

Give your SO a call - it isn't nice to 'test' people on remembering your birthday.. I count down my birthday to my SO leading up to it, saying things like "it's my birthday next week" "it's my birthday tomorrow!!" so even though he knows the date of my birthday he would be hard pressed to ignore all my excitement about it and forget

Thank you

It isn't a test. I just feel like reminders are insulting. Sort of like saying 'You darn well better my birthday, so I am going to keep reminding you so you don't forget.'. That would make it seem like, the one giving repeated reminders, is being selfish.

[lyonsgirl]

Yes, Today is May 17th. Maybe I am being picky. At the same time, there have been periods where, I haven't heard from her for as much as two weeks. I did hear from her on Monday(5/13/2013) about something totally unrelated.

Okay..... but in your OP you said your birthday was yesterday, 5/17/13.... Which is why I'm confused. I dunno, I guess because I can't even figure out if your birthday was yesterday (5/16) or today (5/17), and you're even telling us when your birthday is, how can you expect her to?

Plus, it's a lot harder to remember significant dates like that when you aren't with it each other. It's not like she intentionally forgot your birthday or anything. Even still. It's only just before 2pm now for you, which means she's probably just started thinking about lunch.

[Chris516]

This. I know that I am horrible with dates and I have even forgotten my own mother's birthday before. So I don't get offended when people forget mine. Just so I'm sure he won't forget, I do the same thing as Jazi- countdown to my birthday a week or so before so that I'm sure he remembers!

Anyway, Happy birthday!!

I am not 'offended', just saddened a little. Also, Yes, People in my family have forgotten my birthday before. Maybe part of it is, I have the birthdays' of everyone in my family memorized, and I make a point in advance, to make sure they hear from me on their birthday.

[Captivated]

Are you seriously mad because at 5:45 in the morning (AM) she didn't wake up and congratulate you? Wow...

Or am I missing something here? Do you two normally talk at that time? I really don't get it?

[Chris516]

My SO cannot for the life of him remember my age. My birthday was this Monday and he bought the wrong numbers for my candles!

I think he innocently forgot. Tell him! Some people are bad at remembering dates.

Wow!! Two with one shot!! Not only putting things in perspective. You also made me laugh at the same time, my SO is a 'her', lol.

[Chris516]

Okay..... but in your OP you said your birthday was yesterday, 5/17/13.... Which is why I'm confused. I dunno, I guess because I can't even figure out if your birthday was yesterday (5/16) or today (5/17), and you're even telling us when your birthday is, how can you expect her to?

Plus, it's a lot harder to remember significant dates like that when you aren't with it each other. It's not like she intentionally forgot your birthday or anything. Even still. It's only just before 2pm now for you, which means she's probably just started thinking about lunch.

Yes, I meant 5/16, I can see why you were confused. She knows when my birthday is. She gets the same way, if I don't remember hers. I know she didn't do it intentionally. Because she isn't spiteful and vindictive.

[lyonsgirl]

I am not 'offended', just saddened a little. Also, Yes, People in my family have forgotten my birthday before. Maybe part of it is, I have the birthdays' of everyone in my family memorized, and I make a point in advance, to make sure they hear from me on their birthday.

That's awesome of you to make a point to talk to each of your family members on their birthdays, I'm sure they really appreciate it. Some people are awful at remembering birthdays/important dates, though, so I wouldn't hold that against your family. They are your family after all. You kind of have to deal with them for the rest of forever, whether you like it or not.

Yes, I meant 5/16, I can see why you were confused. She knows when my birthday is. She gets the same way, if I don't remember hers. I know she didn't do it intentionally. Because she isn't spiteful and vindictive.

Then, if I were you, give her a call. Shoot her an email, message, text, something, and check in with her. You say she knows when it is, but maybe something came up yesterday or the day before and she forgot. For example. Yesterday was my dad's birthday. Two nights ago at like, 2am, (5/15) my mom went to the ER - which I didn't find out until I woke up on 5/16. I forgot it was my dad's birthday until later that afternoon when Mom was cleared to go home.

[Jazi]

Thank you

It isn't a test. I just feel like reminders are insulting. Sort of like saying 'You darn well better my birthday, so I am going to keep reminding you so you don't forget.'. That would make it seem like, the one giving repeated reminders, is being selfish.

It's EXCITEMENT... not 'reminders', I've always enjoyed counting down to my birthday and me and my SO skype regularly so it does come up in conversation.. I also like to tell my SO about my birthday plans so we can still talk on the day. Birthdays are fairly big things that happen in relationships and it strikes as odd to me that you purposefully do not mention it in order not to appear 'selfish' but then expect magical birthday wishes... Either your birthday is important to you or it isn't, she can't read your mind about your birthday expectations and it's VERY easy to lose track of the date. I think you need to talk to her about what you expect from your birthday, discuss that you still want your birthday acknowledged even if you don't talk about it leading up to the day... but if you never mention your birthday you do have to cut her some lack and realise that people DO forget things, even important things sometimes.

I think your mindset of not having people talk about their birthdays leading up to the day in itself kind of reads like a 'test' to remember it on the day, you said yourself you make a point to say happy birthday to all your family on the day... great, good for you. Not everyone does and usually the organisation of a birthday celebration/it coming up in conversation is what jogs some peoples memories about that particular persons birthday.

anyway, You two need to talk about each others birthday expectations.. I mean, if she is the kind of person who gets excited about her birthday and talks about it leading up to the day are you going to think she is 'selfish'? You really need to tell her your views and expectations.. let her discuss hers in return.

[Chris516]

That's awesome of you to make a point to talk to each of your family members on their birthdays, I'm sure they really appreciate it. Some people are awful at remembering birthdays/important dates, though, so I wouldn't hold that against your family. They are your family after all. You kind of have to deal with them for the rest of forever, whether you like it or not.

I don't harp it or get bothered if my family members forget, because 9.999 times out of 10, they don't forget.

Then, if I were you, give her a call. Shoot her an email, message, text, something, and check in with her. You say she knows when it is, but maybe something came up yesterday or the day before and she forgot. For example. Yesterday was my dad's birthday. Two nights ago at like, 2am, (5/15) my mom went to the ER - which I didn't find out until I woke up on 5/16. I forgot it was my dad's birthday until later that afternoon when Mom was cleared to go home.

That is unquestionably understandable in the situation with your mother. Speaking of your mother, I hope she is okay?

[Chris516]

It's EXCITEMENT... not 'reminders', I've always enjoyed counting down to my birthday and me and my SO skype regularly so it does come up in conversation.. I also like to tell my SO about my birthday plans so we can still talk on the day. Birthdays are fairly big things that happen in relationships and it strikes as odd to me that you purposefully do not mention it in order not to appear 'selfish' but then expect magical birthday wishes... Either your birthday is important to you or it isn't, she can't read your mind about your birthday expectations and it's VERY easy to lose track of the date. I think you need to talk to her about what you expect from your birthday, discuss that you still want your birthday acknowledged even if you don't talk about it leading up to the day... but if you never mention your birthday you do have to cut her some lack and realize that people DO forget things, even important things sometimes.

I have never had to remind her.

I think your mindset of not having people talk about their birthdays leading up to the day in itself kind of reads like a 'test' to remember it on the day, you said yourself you make a point to say happy birthday to all your family on the day... great, good for you. Not everyone does and usually the organisation of a birthday celebration/it coming up in conversation is what jogs some peoples memories about that particular persons birthday.

Okay

Anyway, You two need to talk about each others birthday expectations.. I mean, if she is the kind of person who gets excited about her birthday and talks about it leading up to the day are you going to think she is 'selfish'? You really need to tell her your views and expectations.. let her discuss hers in return.

I feel indescribably stupid.................



She may have had another bad migraine.

[Hollandia]

I have to disagree.

Birthdays are not unique events. Everyone has one. Whole it's always nice to feel remembered, loved and celebrated there is no obligation to do so and you shouldn't EXPECT your SO to congratulate you within te constraints of your deadline.

You're in a LD which means sometimes communication doesn't happen even on your birthday. She'll say something eventually and till then I suggest you cut yourself some cake and your SO some slack.

Okay, I love this part, so poignant and funny but yet true. Priceless.

Here is my story. This year my SO not only forgot my birthday but because he forgot it, he made plans to go out with a work buddy. I mentioned it to him on my birthday when he was pinging me to let me know he would not be around. He felt like dog sh@# but I told him not to cancel because it would be unfair to his friend to back out on a Friday night. He promised to jump back online when he came home but him and his buddy ended up having a few more than planned and he was rocked and I could barely understand what he was typing and so I said love baby .... go to bed. I spent my birthday alone. I was not mad but yes I was a bit sad about it. I am really big into holidays and birthdays and I always do something special for him but he forgot mine. OTOH, he did fly to USA a few days later and we made a point to sorta "celebrate" it when he got here.

If he forgets again next year.........then I will have a chat about it with him. I highly doubt he will again.