They say you just 'know'

[folclor]

I think some of y'all misunderstood my point. ^^; I'm not saying, "Oh, there can be no knowing!" I'm saying I think people over romanticize everything and jump to conclusions early on. Do I think I 'know'? By that I mean I can't see myself with anyone else and I am in love iwth Alex. So I think I may 'know.' However, there's always another person. So while I say, "Oh, I love him, I can see a life with marriage and children with him" he may say, "I'm not so sure about this yet." I think it's too early in the relationship to know for sure what the outcome will be. I think that's the case with every relationship. Until you make the decision that you will or will not make it work (my mother told me that she and Dad sat down when they were engaged and said, "There will be no divorce, whatever happens"), you can't completely 'know.'

I know that I'm comfortable with Alex, I know that I trust him completely. I know that I'm comfortable enough to get intimate with him and show him sides of myself I can't show to anyone else. I know that if he asked me to marry him right now I'd think it was too soon, but if we waited a few years I'd be all for it. I know he trusts me enough that he's with me (which is almost a miracle considering his past relationships) and he trusts me enough to be intimate. But I know that if we end up married we will likely experience a break up first.

[Gurl]

Interesting thread here. Time to add my two cents from the perspective of someone who has had many lovers and several very serious relationships. You do just know. You know you've met someone that is a potential life mate when they compliment you. The two of you are very similar but have differences that make conversations fun and interesting. You know when you can say without a doubt you'd give ANYTHING to help them find happiness (without being a martyr about it, of course!). You know you're with THE ONE when even spending a year apart doesn't dampen your deeper emotions for them. The whole being "in love" bit may or may not ever happen. The deeper loving someone will...and sometimes very quickly though you should always give that time to mature.

I am speaking from recent experience with my SO. when we first started chatting via IM, I started getting this weird feeling. I liked him way more than I should have within a few conversations. I could tell that he and I were very compatible, but was scared for so many reasons. Over time, I've come to realize that he is my ONE and pray often that we can make it through this separation. If not, he will always always be a very important part of who I am. He's the first non family member I have ever loved unselfishly. He's the only man I have ever seriously considered waiting for. He's the only man I can see being my compliment, but I am sure the odds of that being true are small. He's my love, my friend, and just makes my life happier.

[Sarah M]

To be honest, I don't think anyone ever 'knows'. I think they believe in the relationship so strongly that they work through any barriers they find in their way. Personally, once I realised I wanted to make Matt the happiest man alive, and that he wanted to do the same for me, I realised we could be very, very happy together. And we're just keeping on keeping on until we get there.

[lexicaroline]

I believe in the "knowing" for sure. I always have. I thought before that I had felt it, but now that I truly have, I realize that was just wishful thinking in the past. I had a serious relationship with someone who wasn't even sure they wanted to be with me. It was miserable, but I forced myself to believe that it was true love and it would last. When I met my current SO, it was almost shocking to me that someone could be just as interested in me as I was in them. I had never experienced that before. And really, I can't explain the feeling anyway, because there are no words for it. When I try to put labels on it, it sounds shallow and idealistic. But it feels anything but that. All I can say, I guess, is that you can love someone deeply who doesn't love you back, but it's not going to work out if they don't have the same feelings for you. And when you find someone who's just as committed to you, there's just this feeling like everything has clicked and you don't want to ever leave their side (metaphorically speaking, of course, since we're talking about LDRs :P)

[Rhiavaan]

Interesting thread here. Time to add my two cents from the perspective of someone who has had many lovers and several very serious relationships. You do just know. You know you've met someone that is a potential life mate when they compliment you. The two of you are very similar but have differences that make conversations fun and interesting. You know when you can say without a doubt you'd give ANYTHING to help them find happiness (without being a martyr about it, of course!). You know you're with THE ONE when even spending a year apart doesn't dampen your deeper emotions for them. The whole being "in love" bit may or may not ever happen. The deeper loving someone will...and sometimes very quickly though you should always give that time to mature.

I am speaking from recent experience with my SO. when we first started chatting via IM, I started getting this weird feeling. I liked him way more than I should have within a few conversations. I could tell that he and I were very compatible, but was scared for so many reasons. Over time, I've come to realize that he is my ONE and pray often that we can make it through this separation. If not, he will always always be a very important part of who I am. He's the first non family member I have ever loved unselfishly. He's the only man I have ever seriously considered waiting for. He's the only man I can see being my compliment, but I am sure the odds of that being true are small. He's my love, my friend, and just makes my life happier.

This is what I meant. That's what I get for replying half brain dead.
LMH well, technically I am old compared to you all :P

[Gurl]

This is what I meant. That's what I get for replying half brain dead.
LMH well, technically I am old compared to you all :P

Well...you're younger than my honey by a few years....I am 32 and he is 13 yrs older than I (my fav number is 13, wicked coincidence!)

[Kirschlein]

It is right, you can never know what will happen in the future, but if both are fighting for the relationship then you can be kinda sure, that it will work out. And so you know that the person is the right one. I am not believing in relationships who just live through the days without doing something for it. I am in the point of view that you need to keep it alive and work for your future. I guess i have this opinion because my parents never did something for their relationship: They didn't even say sorry to each other so the bond between them disappeared.

Well but i have to admit... there is also THIS feeling, what makes you feel sure about it. For example myself. I never wanted kids, i never wanted to marry, i didn't see any future with my old bf. But with Anton i suddenly want all of this. It is like i turned around completely. And that makes me sure he is the one. He is the one i want to fight for. This is the relationship i want to keep up. And the most important thing is, that he wants that too. If he wouldn't feel the same and if he wouldn't put effort into us, then i guess i would have my doubts what would happen in the future.