I joined this group when I was in a long distance relationship. It didn't start that way, we spent months living together before it got to the long-distance part. But despite all the crafty gifts, love, encouragement, understanding and trust I shelled out...(not to mention the money I lost on a ring) While she was away, my SO cheated on me with multiple partners..and when she came back, to again live with me after her adventure..she was hiding an active relationship with another guy she met from her travel. She kept up a ruse with me for about two weeks when I had had enough with the obvious lies and her always on her phone..always careful to lock the screen and keep her phone close. And not having much of anything to do with me.
I spent 6 months of my life waiting on a girl that was as she put it, "better than any girl I'd ever met before". Haven't met someone that can keep a lie going strong even with her parents which I spent time with 3 days a week and on holidays. I learned to play guitar for her, from her father, to play for her our favorite song when I proposed to her when she got home. Her dad and I jammed at least once a week every week. I spent weekends very frequently hanging out with her brother, he would take me out to take my mind off her. I spent time helping her mom with projects and cooking and with her niece to lend a helping hand. And she knew all of this while she betrayed me..and lied about it to me and her wonderful family.
I guess when it comes down to it, the LFAD idea is very nice but entirely depends on both partners being ok with wanting something you cannot have. And as hard as it to stop yourself from taking what you want from where you're going to get it...this idea of a "relationship" isn't one. Relationships are in-person at their core. Shared daily life and experiences and being a part of that persons life in a tangible way. Relationships are associations that "relate" to each others memories, needs, wants and desires. I learned that no matter how hard you try, the normal human experience of being with someone cannot be discounted or replaced by making phone calls, emails, facebooking, skyping, gifting, or wishing for things you can't make happen, endlessly. If you wanna be a part of that person's life..you gotta be there with them taking the good days and the bad. If you're not, there's seemingly inevitably someone that will. This will be my last post on this site. Good luck to you lot. At least wish you better luck than my own. I haven't been the same since my situation unfolded. Better luck to you and yours.
I spent 6 months of my life waiting on a girl that was as she put it, "better than any girl I'd ever met before". Haven't met someone that can keep a lie going strong even with her parents which I spent time with 3 days a week and on holidays. I learned to play guitar for her, from her father, to play for her our favorite song when I proposed to her when she got home. Her dad and I jammed at least once a week every week. I spent weekends very frequently hanging out with her brother, he would take me out to take my mind off her. I spent time helping her mom with projects and cooking and with her niece to lend a helping hand. And she knew all of this while she betrayed me..and lied about it to me and her wonderful family.
I guess when it comes down to it, the LFAD idea is very nice but entirely depends on both partners being ok with wanting something you cannot have. And as hard as it to stop yourself from taking what you want from where you're going to get it...this idea of a "relationship" isn't one. Relationships are in-person at their core. Shared daily life and experiences and being a part of that persons life in a tangible way. Relationships are associations that "relate" to each others memories, needs, wants and desires. I learned that no matter how hard you try, the normal human experience of being with someone cannot be discounted or replaced by making phone calls, emails, facebooking, skyping, gifting, or wishing for things you can't make happen, endlessly. If you wanna be a part of that person's life..you gotta be there with them taking the good days and the bad. If you're not, there's seemingly inevitably someone that will. This will be my last post on this site. Good luck to you lot. At least wish you better luck than my own. I haven't been the same since my situation unfolded. Better luck to you and yours.
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