Problems in my long distance relationship..

[emilyeas12]

Hey, me and my ldr boyfriend are in a relationship for almost a month. We love each other alot.. And we both know it. But i have a few problems..


1.First one is, we barely talk. He is very busy with work..i know he has his life and i have mine and we both have important things to do but still.. I miss him so much. And it doesn't seem like he cares.. I talked to him about it before and he agreed and said he is trying the best he can to talk to me and said he will be more responsive and try harder to talk to me and he did but only for two days and then he got very busy again.. I dont know wht do to. I dot want to nag him.. But its impossible.. We barely talk and i dont want to lose him..what can i do?

2.The second problem is.. He is making me jealous all the time.. Alot of girls like him and wants him to be they're bf and send him pictures of them with less clothes.. And im scared he will fall inlove with them or cheat on me.. I do trust him but i dont trust those girl who will do anything to get him to be more then friends with them.. What can i tell him?



3.he is very sarcastic.. Like all the time. Unless the situation is really bad and im crying or something he is very sarcastic.. He tells me about things like i ask him "what are you doing?" and he says something like "fuking my neighbor" or something like that, i know he doesn't mean it but its still annoying sometimes. What can i do to make him be a bit more serious? I dont want him to just change but i do want him to start controlling what he says because it hurts me.. Please help me../:

[Malaga]

Your main problem with this guy is that he's a moron.

Actually, are you even sure you two are in a relationship? You're three weeks in a relationship and he already seems like he's on the way out, it suggests he never even tried to take it seriously. I'd say he's just stringing you along.

Idiots are dime a dozen in this world, you don't want to waste your time on one. Just drop this loser, I guarantee you soon you'll wonder what you ever saw in him.

But if you don't want to give up without trying, tell him to get this act together right this minute and start treating you with respect: to stop flirting and sexting with other girls, to learn some manners when he talks to you and to start acting like he's in a relationship with you. Don't plead with him, demand it. Then when he fails to deliver, drop him like it's hot. You'll be way better off without him, that's for sure.

Good luck! xx

[PrincessJOE]

I think the key is communicating well

As regards the first problem, how do you talk generally? Cos if someone is very busy it may be difficult being on Skype (for example), but all those instant messages things like Viber, whatsapp and so on could make it easier considering he could write back quickly even just while he has few mins free

For the girls... well, I'd be jealous too honestly, but it depends a lot on him I think. Do you think he tries to make you jealous on purpose? Maybe you should try telling him openly how you feel about it and hopefully he ll try to avoid situations that could hurt you.

And about him being sarcastic... again, I'd suggest you to communicate.

Did you two talk about being exclusive for each other? I think that's an important aspect too. If you talked about it and you agree on that, I think it should be natural for him to try his best to make you feel good, and in case he didn't notice these things make you sad, talking about it would maybe solve it pretty quickly.

If you didn't talk about being exclusive instead, i'd take my time to understand if i'm okay about it or if i want more. If you want more (like it seems from your feelings), maybe you should try to understand his point of view and talk about it with him.

Good luck!

[emilyeas12]

We're already talking on kik which is like whatsapp but still he is not answering me.. Even tho he said he'll be more free today its already 5:27pm (3:27pm his time) and i sent him a few texts but nothing no respond.. I dont want to end it. And i do want to tell him whats bothering me but i do t want him to think i want him to absolutely change and maybe it'll hurt him im scared something bad
May happen..

[PrincessJOE]

Mmmh I'd wait for him to contact you now. You made your step, now it's up to him imo, he knows how to contact you if he wants to
I agree with everything Malaga said, he doesnt seem to put too much effort in it, especially for bein the first months when you are generally over excited about your SO.

Think carefully about this situation
Does he consider you his gf 'officially' or youve just been talking for a long time and started having feelings? I think it may make a big difference here, especially if one of you is suffering from it :/

[Black_Halloween]

He sounds like an a$$H@le.

[emilyeas12]

He does consider me as his gf officially.. He is great most of the time but he can be very annoying and childish>.< i wouldn't say asshole because he shows me some conversations with girls he is been talking to and it doesn't seem like he is into them..but still.. Who knows..

[sarahjane1992]

He sounds like an a$$H@le.

I second that. I dated one briefly (CD) before I met my current BF. I look back and think, what was I thinking?

[PrincessJOE]

Id text him and tell him I really need to talk to him about something and to let me know when he has some time, then. I'm sure if he wants things to work, he will find some time to talk seriously very soon.
I don't want to sound bad or anything, but it reminds me of a person i know that made me waste almost a year. Obviously, i wish you the best and that you two will sort things out, but i think he should be a bit more respectful

[emilyeas12]

What can i tell him..?/: i mean i dont want to nag him but i do want to make it clear that he needs to be more respectful and responsive.. And less sarcastic of course.. Help?

[PrincessJOE]

I think in a relationship you should feel 'free' to express what you like or not to your partner, so id just tell him something like "I know you dont care about those girls, but it makes me feel bad knowin they are around you all the time, cant you avoid it, especially if they are flirty? and i really need you to be more present in my life, maybe we could try to think about a certain time of the day (in the evening for example, if he works during the day) where we can spend some time together. And in the end, it kinda hurts me when you are that sarcastic, especially when you say things like that...". thats just an example of course, only you know exactly what happens and what you feel and especially if he is being a bit more than just being around flirty girls (like sexting), id tell him clearly that if he wants to be in a relationship with you, you arent okay with that.

Remeber that being in a relationship with someone means trusting your partner, and trying your best to give him/her what he/she needs. and both of you should. i don't think you are doing something wrong, but as i said before he doesnt seem to put too much effort in it (i may be wrong obviously, its just what i 'feel' from your posts ).
A long distance relationship requires even more trust and sacrifices than a 'normal' one, cos we all know its not easy at all not being able to see your partner for months did you meet already or planned to meet? maybe it could give you two something to look forward to and make your relationship go better

[emilyeas12]

Thank you! Ill tell him that when he'll text me back and no we didn't meet yet. Umm yeah we're planing something but still its in a few years.. we're still kinda young. :P

[LittleBox]

How young are you both? Maybe he doesn't want to get too serious too fast and is falling back on childish mannerisms. You might as well be direct with him and tell him plainly whats been bothering you. Good luck with everything!

[emilyeas12]

Umm I'm 13 years old and he is 17. And thank you

[Black_Halloween]

At the risk of sounding like an old fart, 17 is WAY too old for you. It may not seem like it but a four year difference when you're that young is huge.