This Distance Is Now My Enemy

[butlerfly]

All I can say is.. Well said.

DISTANCE IS HARD! SO HARD!!

I have a friend who lives with her partner but always goes on about missing him when she hasn't seen him much because of work. and it just annoyed me because she is just lucky her guy is in the same country..

I hated the start of summer. Seeing all the couples out together, pictures of my friends and their partners on Facebook having romantic times in the sun.

I hate the Gym I work at for driving my boyfriend away, and I am forever reminded of him there.

I am mad at him for leaving me for so long for something that wasn't really necessary but rather something he wanted to do. I'm tired of the lack of communication from him, I'm sad that in the 6 months he has been gone I have only had one post card from him.

I'm frustrated at myself that I can't find away of telling him how I feel.

I just want him back. He gave me my sparkle.

In December I'll either lose him or I'll get him back. I don't who to be I lose him and he leaves again.

[rach92g]

All I can say is.. Well said.

DISTANCE IS HARD! SO HARD!!

I have a friend who lives with her partner but always goes on about missing him when she hasn't seen him much because of work. and it just annoyed me because she is just lucky her guy is in the same country..

I hated the start of summer. Seeing all the couples out together, pictures of my friends and their partners on Facebook having romantic times in the sun.

I hate the Gym I work at for driving my boyfriend away, and I am forever reminded of him there.

I am mad at him for leaving me for so long for something that wasn't really necessary but rather something he wanted to do. I'm tired of the lack of communication from him, I'm sad that in the 6 months he has been gone I have only had one post card from him.

I'm frustrated at myself that I can't find away of telling him how I feel.

I just want him back. He gave me my sparkle.

In December I'll either lose him or I'll get him back. I don't who to be I lose him and he leaves again.

Wow! So much passion in your words. You're genuinely feeling what I'm trying to get across to others. I'm very sorry about your situation. I hope he comes to his senses and decides you are more important than whatever it is he's doing right now. As I said in one of my previous posts, I want so badly to give my boyfriend the ultimatum that he either has to move back home or I'm going to leave him, but he's bettering our future by being gone so I can't justify doing that. I know that this will all be worth it in the end, and I hope your relationship works out the same way. Thanks for your reply!

[princessmaria]

I spent my birthday with my SO this year, but it makes me so angry that I missed yet another one of his birthdays just a week ago. I just want to scream. I'm so tired of all of the pain, the loneliness, the longing. It all hurts so much and feels so unfair. I completely understand how you feel, I think we all do...

[pretty ll vacant]

Honestly, I couldn't identify with you more. I hate being that way but it's true, everytime I see a couple I can't help but feel angry and jealous. I'm probably like the ultimate hater. I noticed your man is in cali and you are in ga. Same situation with me, I'm a little bit outside of Altanta and he is on the East side of the bay area. The 2,000+ mile distance along with the time difference really sucks. I work for a computer memory company and we ship all over the place, I'm in charge of printing all of our orders and most of our business comes from around the area where my bf lives. I can't express to you enough how much it sucks day after day to see addresses of people that live so close to him. I get SO JEALOUS! Anyway, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone out there and I'd love to be there for you if you ever need someone to talk to!

[one-more-reason]

ha, this thread is awesome. everybody's just blowing off steam. I think we all need it!

for me I'm getting anxious because the reality of the whole visa process is sinking in. next time he visits me with a business/visitor visa he either has to find a job (which apparently is near impossible) or we have to get married if he's going to be allowed to stay here. I WANT to marry him, but I want to do it in our own time and when we feel it's right and have time to plan a nice ceremony... I hate that the government is making me consider marrying him RIGHT NOW just because it seems to be the only way to keep him close to me. and then the whole process of even getting a fiance or spouse visa is obnoxious and requires interviews and more months of waiting. it's especially difficult researching when nothing is even clear on these websites, it's hard to be sure what he can and can't do on certain visas and... ugh. all of these options make me want to rip my hair out!

I'm terrified of him doing something wrong and getting deported. I'm terrified that if we get married it will be too much pressure too soon. now that I've LIVED with him for ten months (I got home two weeks ago) I feel like I'm not going to be satisfied with short visits anymore. we need to become bigger, get jobs, be adults, and do all this together!

honestly, I just want to wake up in the morning, kiss him on the cheek and make him a cup of coffee. I want to come home from work and have him waiting for me with a hug and kiss. I want to go grocery shopping and cook dinner and watch movies and read before bed and get annoyed when he steals all the covers while he's sleeping. I'm tired of counting down days and worrying about all the what-ifs.

[emsimes]

I agree with you, the distance is horrible
I know that I chose to be in this LDR, and I wouldn't have it any other way...but it doesn't always make it easy to brush other things off! I often get sad when I see couples walking hand-in-hand, smiling and kissing. And although I love my friends with all my heart, it's hard for me not to get irritated at times when they say, "I miss my boyfriend so much..I haven't seen him in 2 days!"
Two days?!...try 6 months apart and then tell me about it! I really don't want to sound bitter or jaded, but sometimes it just sucks so much

[LizBrown08]

I completely agree with you. It's not a "hate" thing or being against their happiness, but hell you can't help but long for that too! You appreciate the time you have with you SO, but you wish they could be apart of your everyday life. It's hard and sometimes you can't help but have that stab of irritation when you see others. It's completely normal!! We grow up thinking that once we find our "one" that it's happily ever after, but it's really a constant struggle with yourself and the relationship to keep things alive when you are so far apart. It takes a whole different level of love, trust and communication to make it work.

[kittykatharine]

I hate it too! I get so overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, anger, and then hopelessness - because there is nothing I can do except get upset at the distance. I can't help but also think how we only have one life and I am wasting parts of it not being with someone I love dearly. I am so tired of being tired and am ready for this to be over.

[rach92g]

I can't help but also think how we only have one life and I am wasting parts of it not being with someone I love dearly. I am so tired of being tired and am ready for this to be over.

Yes, I feel this so much! We are missing so many milestones. In a couple of weeks I am turning 21, which means we will both be 21 and I would love to be able to actually go out and drink with him for my birthday, but no, that's not gonna happen. Just one of the many things I know we are missing out on.

[kikidee]

The part I hate the most is being alone on days like Christmas or valentines day, or going to fairs and concerts and seeing people being with their bf's or gfs and thinking, wow first of all it sucks cuz I want to celebrate this special magical day with them but I can't, and especially on days to celebrate with a SO, you just look like a loner or get left behind while thinking "I am with someone but it sure doesnt look like it." Idk that's part of it I really loathe.

[tigerlady]

I have only been in my LDR since March and I completely understand. Though I have found the distance to be a great thing because we ARE NOT like those other couples!! We don't see each other often, which can be good because we don't get sick of each other and we have not found a thing to get irritated by as of yet. Ok, well maybe a couple, but nothing serious. The hardest part is leaving each other again when we are together. I dread that part so much it almost makes me sad to think about visiting in the first place. But you know what??? Because of all this, each time we get together, it is like the first time all over again. That part I cannot get enough of. To see the love in his eyes and him wrapping me in his arms. It just seems to get stronger and stronger each time we are together and I love that.
Don't get me wrong, it is devastating for a week or more when we separate, to the point where I just don't know if I can do it anymore either, but as the days go by, it gets easier and we make sure to talk or skype every day no matter what. I love this man with all my heart and could not give up. In my mind I think, well, I'm lonely without him but how would it be much different if I were single? At least I know I have someone out there who truely loves me for me, not for any other reason than he has gotten to know me on a very personal and emotional level. Sex is the bonus instead of the base of the relationship.
If you are still with him, hang in there!!

[abna1]

Yes, I feel this so much! We are missing so many milestones. In a couple of weeks I am turning 21, which means we will both be 21 and I would love to be able to actually go out and drink with him for my birthday, but no, that's not gonna happen. Just one of the many things I know we are missing out on.

Ohmygod yes ! I just realised my 21st is creeping up on me and he also won't be there for it. It's not as symbolic as in your case, but it would still be nice. Yes, and so many other things !

[rach92g]

The part I hate the most is being alone on days like Christmas or valentines day, or going to fairs and concerts and seeing people being with their bf's or gfs and thinking, wow first of all it sucks cuz I want to celebrate this special magical day with them but I can't, and especially on days to celebrate with a SO, you just look like a loner or get left behind while thinking "I am with someone but it sure doesnt look like it." Idk that's part of it I really loathe.

Me too! When I went on my cruise last summer all I saw was couples my age having a fun time together, and I wasn't able to talk to him for 4 days so that made it even worse. I wanted him there with me more than anything because I knew we'd have a great time, but everyone else got to enjoy that. Maybe one day.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

My SO and I just went back to long distance on Sunday. We were together for 3 months. Even though we knew we'd be going back to LD, it sucks!! I got so used to him being here that everything reminded me of him when he left. My birthday is next week and he's not going to be here to celebrate with me. This is the first birthday in the 14 years we've known each other that he hasn't been here for. It makes me so sad because he's the only person I want to spend my birthday with and I can't. Only a year and a half left until we close the distance for good.

[oxytocinbite]

I have been dating my SO for almost a year and wow you guys are strong if you can last more then 3 years...that would be my limit. Anyhow though...

I hate how my sister uses the phone I fall asleep with everynight with my SO so she can fall asleep with her bf that she sees on the weekends. She let's me use the crappy phone that dies and then my mum gets pissed.

I hate how I have to always be the third-wheel when I hang out with her and her bf.

I hate having practically no one that understands how hard it can be. I just wish my mom would even care about how I feel.

I hate how I am already thinking about the pain of having to leave him again, honestly the closer seeing him gets..the more frustrated I get knowing it will have an end date.

I am thankful for having him in my life, and how I will appreciate so much more then a lot of people that dont realize how lucky they are.