Time for 'us' despite the distance

[PrincessJOE]

Its just few days I started thinking about something, but being pretty new to LDRs i thought talkin about it with someone who may have felt the same could be useful

I'm going through a pretty difficult period (not cos of my SO, but cos of some family and past things that give me serious difficulties relating to other people :/) and i happen to feel really lonely. While thinking about it, i noticed i'm lucky cos i get to talk to him throughout the day now and then thanks to instant messages apps, but as we are doin our own things it rarely is a deep conversation and so on. I also noticed I kinda wait unconsciously for him to be home expecting to have some time for us to talk, like... a moment when we have nothing else to focus on except for each other. And that's when I feel lonely if, for example, he has planned to go out or so. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing about him spending time out or anything, it's just i noticed i kinda need to have some time just for us, even if it's just a call or some messages.
So I was wondering if it's just me, cos of my problem, feeling this or if you guys have some 'set days' where you know you are gonna have some time with your SOs despite the distance

[alittlemind]

I have found myself feeling the same way when my boyfriend and I are texting. The past few days have been tough because he ran out of minutes, so the next time we will be able to talk on the phone will be (hopefully) Saturday. It's hard to have a deep conversation over texting, I agree 100%. Do you and your SO skype/talk on the phone at all? If this is an option for you, maybe just ask him if he'd like to set up a "skype date/phone date" with you. If you can't talk every day, maybe find a time every 2-3 days where you can really connect on that level and talk about more important things, other than small-talk texting. When he is busy and you are not, it's important to try to keep yourself busy, maybe, when you know he will be busy, plan to do something with a friend, or even just talk to another friend online. Occupy yourself so you won't spend the whole time waiting to talk to him, and that time will go by more quickly for you until you hear from him again. Feel free to even PM me if you'd like and we can chit-chat, I am often not busy and can get lonely too. Other things I do to feel less lonely is play games online, watch videos, do some crafty things, or even cleaning keeps me occupied! There are endless possibilities. I hope this helped you a little bit. Best wishes to you

[PrincessJOE]

We never talk on the phone cos being in two different countries it would be extremely expensive, but we use skype now and then, even if it happens rarely.
I think I'll try to talk to him about it and see what he thinks

[princessmaria]

I think this is perfectly normal. My SO and I live really separate lives when we're long distance. We're joined at the hip in person but at a distance, we're both pretty caught up about 80% of the time. We went two whole weeks with only very short conversations here and there until today. I snagged him up and we had a nice video chat. I ended up crying because I didn't realize how much I missed him and he reassured me that he misses me as well which made me feel way better. I think it's good for people in a LDR especially to keep themselves busy and continue on with their lives. It's also perfectly normal to get a little lonely and miss them, so maybe just try coming up with a schedule for you two to have time together. He probably misses you just as much as you miss him, so I'm sure he won't mind.

[Moon]

Personally, I've found that text messaging is a terrible way to carry on a relationship I know many of you will disagree with me on that.

To me, if the majority of the time you're conversing through text, you just aren't going to get that depth of communication you will when speaking to each other. Maybe he feels like he's been talking to you all day, so there's no need to rush home to do it some more? You don't get to hear the nuances in someone's voice, or connect on a more personal level through text, which is usually carried out in between doing other things, almost as an afterthought in a way. My honest advice is to speak to him and decide which days can be text days and which can be talk days and stick to that. On talk days, avoid texting as much as possible, preferably don't do it at all, that way you'll have plenty to talk about. But remember, you can't expect anyone to text all day, then have long conversations into the night, at some point everyone needs to get their other responsibility in life dealt with Good luck .

[PrincessJOE]

Thanks to you too princessmaria, it happened exactly the same for me a couple of days ago the last time we were on skype, i couldnt help but crying cos of how much i miss him.
The 'problem' with me is i have serious difficulties asking him (or to whoever i care about) some time to spend with me cos of some serious problems i had in the past, so even if i know its somethin completely normal and everything, its an EXTREMELY difficult step for me. at the same time, he is a VERY positive person, he always sees the full half of the glass, which is amazing on a side, but it makes it more difficult for me on the other.
I'll try my best!

[PrincessJOE]

Thank you too, Moon As i said to princessmaria (i didnt see your reply cos i was writing back to her when you posted yours i think) my problem is something 'more' due to some past issues, which make even little easy things more difficult.
Thanks a lot for the tip about choosing 'text days', i never thought about it before