Cheated On

[digitalfever]

It doesn't sound fishy. It sounds completely made up to save face.

[Ejoriah]

I just wanted to say it's unfair for him to go clamoring that you don't trust him anymore etc etc. Willing to bet that if your best friend had messaged him telling him you had made out with a hot guy at a cabin, he would probably be reacting with a lot less diplomacy than you're reacting right now (I seem to recall he got mad that you had a picture of you and a guy friend up on your facebook from before you dated).

[Dezface]

Yeah honestly sounds to me that Justin got to the friend and convinced him to say it was a lie. The whole story just doesn't make sense. Why would the friend suddenly decide to tell you it was a lie? Wouldn't his original intention of "saving Justin" still stand? I don't get it. Any of it. I would be skeptical.

[Kiyama]

Yeah honestly sounds to me that Justin got to the friend and convinced him to say it was a lie. The whole story just doesn't make sense. Why would the friend suddenly decide to tell you it was a lie? Wouldn't his original intention of "saving Justin" still stand? I don't get it. Any of it. I would be skeptical.

I would think the same.
On the other hand, it sounds strange to me that his best friend would betray your SO and tell you about the cheating. Why would a best friend do that? Even if he doesn't approve, are the two of you so close that he feels committed to tell you the truth?
But the whole Syria thing doesn't sound like a good enough reason to send you such a text either so I don't really know what to believe here.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It must all be really confusing and I hope you can clear up your thoughts eventually and decide what's best for you. We are all here for you to help.

[Louise_B]

To be honest this is ALL a bit too much for me. I feel like I am being pulled in all different directions, Just to clear up a few things. Scott his best friend and I aren’t exactly close. We had each other on Facebook, We wouldn’t talk on chat or anything but he would like a few of my posts. And that’s that between me him Scott. Amber Scott’s girlfriend, on the other hand yes we do talk.

I do not know what I am meant to be doing for the best. I know that sounds crazy to most and yes it sounds crazy to me sometimes when I think about it,

Yes, Scott and amber told me Justin had cheated on me
Do I have any more solid evidence from them? No.

The guy who I love with all my heart tells me he hasn’t,
Am I going to believe him more over 2 people who only had words to back up they said? Yes.

I’ve told both Amber and Scott to stop bullshitting me because all this is not fair. If they have proof Justin did such a thing I want to see it, if not I don’t want to hear any more about it. SIMPLE!

I’ve told Justin that he needs to understand how I’m feeling about this whole shamble and that I will be withheld for the time being and I will need my space.

I am trying to look out for ME. For once in my life. Ok everyone has voiced their opinions on how Justin is lying, covering up and so on. And part of me can see all of that, But love kind of weighs it out.

I will not be taken for a fool. I’m just waiting for concrete evidence and answers before I totally make a decision I may regret either way.

Sounds fair right, correct me if you think not. And also what would you guys do. Honestly?

I'm simply looking for closure on this whole thing, So i know then what to do with my relationship. If i still have one. Its not to much to ask for is it? Closure?

[ushiwakafox]

I think after all is said and done, there really isn't much real tangible evidence that he cheated. Honestly, some guys in the military can be a little f'ed up. From what I can gather, his friend is in a great distress of worry over your SO's safety. I wonder if your SO feels a level of guilt for cheating with those other girls in the past, and therefor became aggravated when you showed signs of distrust, not necessarily because he cheated on you.

I know it's hard, but I feel like it's not fair to base something off of someone's past with other people (as far as relationships go). He cheated on girls in the past, but you decided to continue to stay with him. Base your decision off of what you know from YOUR relationship with him, not off of his past relationships.

At the end of the day, there is really no solid evidence. Until you are given actual evidence, I wouldn't worry about it anymore. This may be naive of me to say, but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, at least until they've given me a reason not to. There's no pictures, no texts between him and her, no nothing. But there are texts that were exchanged between him and his friend. That's the only evidence you have, and therefor really the only thing you can base your decision off of.

[Louise_B]

I think after all is said and done, there really isn't much real tangible evidence that he cheated. Honestly, some guys in the military can be a little f'ed up. From what I can gather, his friend is in a great distress of worry over your SO's safety. I wonder if your SO feels a level of guilt for cheating with those other girls in the past, and therefor became aggravated when you showed signs of distrust, not necessarily because he cheated on you.

This is what i think too. But peoplare seeing past all of that. Justins friend is VERY distressed about hes army career

I know it's hard, but I feel like it's not fair to base something off of someone's past with other people (as far as relationships go).

I also agree, i never battered an eyelid getting into a relationship with him even though i knew he had a past of cheating. My relationship with him doesnt have no ties with what hes done in the past.

At the end of the day, there is really no solid evidence. Until you are given actual evidence, I wouldn't worry about it anymore. This may be naive of me to say, but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, at least until they've given me a reason not to. There's no pictures, no texts between him and her, no nothing. But there are texts that were exchanged between him and his friend. That's the only evidence you have, and therefor really the only thing you can base your decision off of.

I also give everyone the benefit of the doubt, Thats why im being so patient but still going on with my life. I have told scott and amber unless they have something that really matters to this whole thing then not to bother bringing it up anymore because there is no point. And as for Justin i am still talking to him and getting on with everything.

[Safihre]

I have no real advice to give since the story is pretty crazy and I could believe both stories.

I just wanted to say I really feel sorry that this is happening to you and putting you through the emotional stress. The long distance and not being able to really talk about it face to face is the worst and can so easily leave traces of doubt, whichever version of the story is true.

[snow]

It's tough, I give you that. They put you in a situation that worries you and could either break apart your relationship or their friendship, which is a bullshit thing to do.
Did he cheat? No idea. Did his friend lie? No idea.
And that's the worst part, because you can't possibly know what's going on. With your SO's history one could easily think he did cheat and is trying to cover it up, but there is really nothing that says he did other than his friend telling you about it, but since you don't know this guy very well, you don't know how valid that information is. Maybe he likes to pull pranks on his friend, maybe he likes to lie and see how his friend gets out of a situation like that, maybe he genuinly said the truth, but there is just no way for you to know.

It all depends on what your gut says. What do you really think and feel?

Do you trust your SO that he didn't cheat on you? Then stick with him and try to work through this with him. Being in a long distance relationship it's hard to just disregard what people say that are close to your SO, because they are there when you're not and see things you can't and that's understandable, but in the end your SO is the person you should trust.

Do you think it's fishy and a made up story to cover up that he cheated? Find out more about this. Ask the right questions and see if you can go on like this.

Either way, I wish you good luck and hope this unnecessary confusion will be cleared up soon.

[SJ22]

I wonder Louise, did he ever give you any reason not to trust him? Did he ever lie to you before?

[Louise_B]

I wonder Louise, did he ever give you any reason not to trust him? Did he ever lie to you before?

He's not lied to me before no. The 5 years ive known him and the 6 months that we have been dating he has never lied, His always been upfront with me, From his wife getting in contact, her calling me a slut, he messaging him randomly .. To previous girls and his past.

[sarahjane1992]

I'm so sorry this is all happening to you, Louise! Trust your gut and you'll figure out what to do. Stay strong! *hugs*

[silvermoonfairy3]

Ugh, that's a sucky situation.

Without knowing your guy, him freaking out about you saying you'd rather know so you guys can work it out seems like a bad sign. If he really didn't do anything, it seems like he could be a bit more rational, rather than trying to start a fight/make it seem like you're being paranoid or untrustworthy, when you're trying to get to the bottom of something told to you by his best friend.

I agree with the others, go with your gut, maybe take some time to think it all over, and see if you can get him to have a calm discussion in a few days when he's had some time to think everything over, too. Good luck!