Originally posted by sarahjane1992
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My lover forgot my Birthday and the day we meant
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I have a feeling what snow_girl may have been trying to say was things like birthdays and anniversaries of... well, anything, really, are kind of trivial things.
From a 16 yr old, I would not be shocked by someone acting this way. From anyone who is an "adult"? This is unacceptable and extremely immature. (When I say adult I mean 18+. I put it in quotes because I didn't truly feel like an adult until I hit 25.)
Or, I could be putting words in her mouth. I hope not.
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Originally posted by lyonsgirl View PostI have a feeling what snow_girl may have been trying to say was things like birthdays and anniversaries of... well, anything, really, are kind of trivial things.
From a 16 yr old, I would not be shocked by someone acting this way. From anyone who is an "adult"? This is unacceptable and extremely immature. (When I say adult I mean 18+. I put it in quotes because I didn't truly feel like an adult until I hit 25.)
Or, I could be putting words in her mouth. I hope not.
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Originally posted by sarahjane1992 View PostI did that because what she said was harsh.
Other people have said the same things, not just me.
Just my two cents.
So, again, IMO, you telling her she was harsh, I disagree with your opinion.
And, IMO, anyone who disagrees with snow_girl is silly. Or Moon. She knows what's up.
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I think sometimes reality IS harsh, like it or not. Personally, I'd prefer the cold, hard truth to someone telling me what I want to hear, because then maybe I could learn something from it. I might not feel immediately supported, comforted or validated, but those feelings don't induce change, and don't help in the long run. I'd rather have a snow_girl-esque answer than hearing how I'm right, and my guy is a jerk, you know? Because, sometimes I'm wrong.Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein
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Originally posted by Moon View PostIf my boyfriend remembered my birthday, on my birthday, it would be my last one, because I'll have died of a heart attack. We don't have an anniversary, either. I like those things, sure, but they just aren't what he's good at, never has been. I'm used to it, now I make sure to remind him of anything I feel like celebrating in plenty of time. Not everyone puts value on dates, if you do, have the conversation. Had I dumped my guy because he's terrible with dates, that would have been MY mistake and loss.
Same if happening to me I love celebrating such dates but it's fine for me becouse i love him just as he is.. He is very romantic boy as well but sometimes for ppl in long distance relationship celebrating dates, sending each other letters or such things are difficult (not for me).. I am sure it will be easier when we live together.. just my opinion from my experience with my boy..
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Well it all depends.
Is it just the birthday and the anniversary he forgot or is this the top of the 100 other things he forgot that were important to you.
Either way ending a relationship that has been going on for two years over a missed birthday and anniversary (is it the first time? since you've been dating for over 2 years, did he remember the first times?) seems unreasonable to me.
But I guess it's how important those things are to you.
I wouldn't break up with my man if he forgot our anniversary or my birthday, I'd be sad but not angry at him.
Like lucybelle said on the thread lyonsgirl linked to on the first page: you have to communicate what you want, and if you want him to celebrate it with you, remind him!
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Originally posted by snow_girl View PostYou're almost 50 years old and you want to end a relationship because he forgot your birthday? Seriously?? I thought this silly shit came to an end once people grew up."We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.
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You guys made me laugh But let's not turn this into a vets versus the rest kind of thing, haha! But really guys, the people who have a couple thousands posts on this website are generally the ones that you would want to listen to, as they have a lot of advice and experiences to share. And yes, some of us like snow_girl are the kind of people who are not afraid to hide their opinions and can formulate things in a way you call 'harsh'. But they make a point, so look past the harshness because not everyone has the same way to phrase comments. No need to comment with such unnecessary things like 'wow you're harsh' every time.
Aaanyway. Let's all be nice and get back to topic. I personally like Rugger's comparison a lot Overreacting seems to be the key word yes.
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