My lover forgot my Birthday and the day we meant

[sarahjane1992]

Oooooh burn! I'm going to go cry in a corner now. You're welcome to come over and watch so you don't run out of things to post about while I'm offine.

Really? That's mature. I joined this website for advice and support. Not to deal with [removed] like yourself. You can dish it out but can't take it.

[snow_girl]

Really? That's mature. I joined this website for advice and support. Not to deal with [removed] like yourself. You can dish it out but can't take it.

Oh I can take it and being called an [removed] won't stop me. If you want support stop posting after me and go actually go give some advice. You should probably double check your cornflakes in the morning.

[Fretboard_Magic]

Anyone that doesn't is silly then!

That's a bit of an absolutist comment, isn't it?

I read the original post and I'm thinking there just might be more to this situation than meets the eye. Who's to say that there are reasons we haven't even considered so far that makes the OP come across the way she does? When I consider that possibility, I can't be so quick to judge. I personally think that what is silly is for someone to decide how a person of a certain age must act. No one can decide that but the person him/herself. There essentially is no rule that says a 49 year-old person can NOT be the way the OP is. And for the record, you DID sound a bit harsh in your initial reply to this thread, too. I personally don't think that was called for, and it appears I'm not the only one thinking that.

To BentleyKim - I suggest talking to him about it. Communication is important. When you do, avoid getting excited and angry. Try to stay calm and discuss the matter with your SO. Some people are a little bit forgetful in the chronological department, so DO keep that in mind as well. Good luck.

[sarahjane1992]

That's a bit of an absolutist comment, isn't it?

I read the original post and I'm thinking there just might be more to this situation than meets the eye. Who's to say that there are reasons we haven't even considered so far that makes the OP come across the way she does? When I consider that possibility, I can't be so quick to judge. I personally think that what is silly is for someone to decide how a person of a certain age must act. No one can decide that but the person him/herself. There essentially is no rule that says a 49 year-old person can NOT be the way the OP is. And for the record, you DID sound a bit harsh in your initial reply to this thread, too. I personally don't think that was called for, and it appears I'm not the only one thinking that.

To BentleyKim - I suggest talking to him about it. Communication is important. When you do, avoid getting excited and angry. Try to stay calm and discuss the matter with your SO. Some people are a little bit forgetful in the chronological department, so DO keep that in mind as well. Good luck.

I agree with this. Well said. Communication is always key.

[Moon]

Wow. Newbies on the rampage

You all might want to go back and re-read MissButterfly's post, it was a good one. This is a pretty amusing thread though.

[lucybelle]

Actually I agree with the OP. If she wants to break up with this guy over a missed birthday she should. Because she obviously needs someone as birthday-obsessive as she is. I vote for break up.

[sarahjane1992]

Wow. Newbies on the rampage

You all might want to go back and re-read MissButterfly's post, it was a good one. This is a pretty amusing thread though.

I did read MissButterfly's post. I agree with a lot of it. I'm not a newbie. And even if that was so, it doesn't mean our opinions are not valid.
That's just my two cents. I don't have a problem sharing my opinions haha.

[Fretboard_Magic]

Wow. Newbies on the rampage

You all might want to go back and re-read MissButterfly's post, it was a good one. This is a pretty amusing thread though.

I read it. I thought she has a good point. But I also think that, just because some of us are newbies, doesn't make us any less...well, just any "less" in terms of who we are as people. Just because someone is an old-timer here doesn't automatically make them superior, not does it grant them to treat others with disrespect. I'm not here to stir shit up or anything, but I'm not afraid to point out mistreatment on a fellow member either when I see it.

My opinion.

[sarahjane1992]

I read it. I thought she has a good point. But I also think that, just because some of us are newbies, doesn't make us any less...well, just any "less" in terms of who we are as people. Just because someone is an old-timer here doesn't automatically make them superior, not does it grant them to treat others with disrespect. I'm not here to stir shit up or anything, but I'm not afraid to point out mistreatment on a fellow member either when I see it.

My opinion.

My thoughts exactly. Glad we can stick together!

[lyonsgirl]

Glad we can stick together!

Moon's comment wasn't that you guys are any "less" because you are new here. Just that you don't know us, and we don't know you. Snow_girl's personality is playful, and she likes to joke-& I'm fairly certain that sarcasm is her 2nd language. So again, it's not that you are any "less" as people or members, but that we haven't gotten to know each other and you kind of jumped down all of our throats about it.

[Dezface]

Oy vey. This thread is full o' fun!

Any way-OP. I agree that you're overreacting. Something like this should probably be a discussion, not a break-up. Although it says you've been together since 2011? That's a fairly established relationship. If you're willing to walk over this little thing, that's a pretty bad sign.

[Moon]

I read it. I thought she has a good point. But I also think that, just because some of us are newbies, doesn't make us any less...well, just any "less" in terms of who we are as people. Just because someone is an old-timer here doesn't automatically make them superior, not does it grant them to treat others with disrespect. I'm not here to stir shit up or anything, but I'm not afraid to point out mistreatment on a fellow member either when I see it.

My opinion.

And just where exactly did I imply any of that? Of course you're allowed an opinion, and I'm allowed to be amused by this thread. Which I am, immensely.

[sarahjane1992]

Moon's comment wasn't that you guys are any "less" because you are new here. Just that you don't know us, and we don't know you. Snow_girl's personality is playful, and she likes to joke-& I'm fairly certain that sarcasm is her 2nd language. So again, it's not that you are any "less" as people or members, but that we haven't gotten to know each other and you kind of jumped down all of our throats about it.

That wasn't my intention. I was just expressing an opinion. Every interaction I've had with snow_girl has been snarky and less than friendly.

[LadyDaemon]

Holy over reaction batman. Personally I see where snow_girl is coming from. Nobody is saying that because you're older you don't have a right to act any kind of way. I think that all that's being said here is that this sort of over reaction is something to be expected from a teenaged girl versus a woman who's much older. When you're an adult and you act like some kind of scorned teenage girl and just start flushing a 2 year old relationship down the pipes over something as trivial as a forgotten birthday/anniversary,there's something to be said about that. I get that to most those are important dates and yeah it sucks when they're forgotten,but really? Break up with someone you supposedly love over something that can be just as easily addressed/dealt with through conversation. That's like I mentioned before,making a mountain out of a mole hill. So all the people getting butt hurt over snow_girls reply need to calm down just a little bit. It's not that serious folks.

[ThePiedPiper]

I see this in one of two ways: either the OPer has a hard time separating her emotions from a missed birthday/anniversary/whatever, which is an issue, or the missed birthday/anniversary/whatever and the reaction it's caused is a symptom of a deeper problem, which is also an issue. Either way, there's an issue, and there's nothing wrong with having one. We all have issues. We all have triggers. And not one of us is mature, rational, or logical 100% of the time from birth to death. I prefer it pointed out to me when I'm being ridiculous, because I can sometimes be ridiculous; it's simply the way I am and the way I like to think that people in general are. Telling the OPer that she's being childish and immature is harsh, yes, and perhaps the wording would rub some people the wrong way, but having been on the receiving end of some people's harsher comments on this site, I can say that they (generally) had a point and once I got past the wording and looked at the intention, I was grateful for what they were trying to communicate. Sometimes, especially on a text-based forum, you have to look at intention beyond the wording.

@ the OPer: I think other members have posed some pertinent questions. Does this happen often, or is this the first time? Why is it such an emotional trigger for you? Did you talk with him about your expectations, or remind him that your birthday was coming up? I might be a little put off if my current partner forgot my birthday or our anniversary, but only because his birthday is the 9th of June, my birthday is the 10th of June, and our anniversary is the 11th of June. My ex-SO was terrible at remembering dates so I'd be reminding him up until my birthday that it was my birthday. It was simply the way he was. I've had friends who suck at it and friends who are amazing at it. I'm great with numbers and remember the phone number even of clients I've dialled once sometimes at work. Does this mean that my boyfriend doesn't care about me because he doesn't have my phone number memorized but I know many of our clients' numbers? No! It simply means I'm better with remembering numbers. The same goes for birthdays and other "important" dates.