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    #31
    I've been avoiding this thread because I don't want to discount any of the other wonderful adviced, because what everyone is saying is true. However, I have a very personal perspective regarding this type of behavior.

    My SO does things like this a lot. He isn't rude towards me and does not ignore me to be spiteful; he is the type of person who needs a lot of space, as I've come to understand with time. I'm not saying your SO is like my SO, but it is possible that he isn't trying to hurt you or be immature. Before my SO and I got our communication down and came to an understanding of each other, I would worry myself sick thinking that he did not love or want me as much as I love him. The turning point was when we had gone an entire two weeks of 5 minute conversations or none at all. I snapped at him, raged, yelled, cried, threatened to break up with him. He said nothing, hung up the phone. I made up in my mind right then and there that I was never going to speak to him again, but later that night he came to me with some devastating news. So much had been going on in his life in those 2 weeks we'd hardly spoken. I wanted to cry because I hadn't known that he was suffering so much. Some people suffer in silence. There are times when my SO and I will hardly speak for more than a week at a time, and usually I can directly connect it to something happening in his life - school, work, family issues. He usually does not talk to me about how he's feeling until after a few days of silence or a bare minimum amount of casualties shared between us. I've found that when I barger him it makes him even more shut off from me, so I definitely give him his space and wait it out. We return back to our relationship like normal every single time. This doesn't happen in person, but long distance wise it's doable and understandable.

    People deal with issues differently. I would be more concerned about his behavior if it was unprecedented for, but he lost his job. That's a tough pill to swallow. I would also be more concerned if he displayed these kinds of behaviors in person, as in outright ignored you physically and not just textually. Again, I don't want to discount the advice in this thread but just my 2 cents. I do believe that the "hissy fit" could have been avoided and there are some communication issues here, but nothing that cannot be sorted out or worked through. I have a really wonderful relationship with my SO and he takes "time off" quite often when he is stressed. It doesn't have to be a make or break thing if you two work the kinks out. I wish you the best of luck.

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      #32
      Originally posted by liquidlove View Post
      Okay good news is he finally messaged me! Turns out he "needed time off." We agreed to talk on Skype tonight so I have to figure out the best way to communicate that I will not tolerate being ignored like that.
      Great to hear that he contacted you
      But I agree that you should let him know that this kind of behaviour is not on.
      I think if a person needs time to themselves it would be good to agree that during those days the other person should at least tell the other that they need time to themselves etc.
      Maybe agree on a text a day or something.

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