How to know if our SO's are serious in the relationship!?

[Malaga]

I don't know anyone that would choose to be casually in a LDR, therefore anyone that chooses to do it must be serious.

I don't know about that. I think there are people who use LDRs to dodge responsibility, have their cake and eat it too. Just look at this forum. I think it mostly pertains to a certain age and it makes me so happy I'm not that young anymore, I wouldn't be able to handle that wishy-washiness.

How to know if someone is serious about you? They don't go back and forth with their feelings about you and your relationship.

[differentcountries]

I don't think that shows seriousness, that shows irresponsibility.

Spending what you have is neccesary, at least in the beginning. How else will you afford travels and so on? I mean cutting down on hobbies and luxury items, not not paying bills...

[differentcountries]

I agree with this. My SO tells me to save all my extra money for airfare to visit her and prepare for our future together. She would rather be able to spend some time with me versus receive any material gifts.

Sorry i thought it was obvious that i meant spend your money on travels and communication.

[Kiyama]

I don't know about that. I think there are people who use LDRs to dodge responsibility, have their cake and eat it too. Just look at this forum. I think it mostly pertains to a certain age and it makes me so happy I'm not that young anymore, I wouldn't be able to handle that wishy-washiness.

How to know if someone is serious about you? They don't go back and forth with their feelings about you and your relationship.

I second that and I don't think it's only related to a certain age group. There are commitment phobic people who choose long distance because they perceive it as less dangerous.

[Ahava]

I ditto the above! (Malaga and Kyama)

[piratemama]

I wanted to say I get what differentcountries meant about spending all your money and then some. It doesn't mean being irresponsible, and I get that. I've done what she means. It means sacrificing all you can, giving up things you want for yourself, so you can spend money for your SO with little loving gifts and travel to see your SO. I've given up buying things for myself many times, so I could do something for my honey. As soon as I read her comment, I nodded and smiled in agreement. It's only about putting someone else first, not being irresponsible.

[CutieTii]

Making themselves feel vulnerable to let you know their feelings. o:
Helping you to battle your fears and insecurities. ^^

[Zephii]

I have to strongly disagree with this one:

try to talk to you when he or she busy during work.

No, when you're at work, you should do your damn job and leave each other alone.

I want to add:

Include you in their lives in whatever ways they can, rather than just telling you about it.

For us, I knew he was serious when he chipped me about a joke I'd made. I'd said something about running away to Canada to be with him and he was all "Don't joke about that. Don't even say it if you're not going to do it." We weren't technically together.

[snow]

Zephii beat me to it. I strongly disagree that someone should try to talk to you while working or being extremely busy.
I think it's the other way around - showing support and understanding while you're busy and can't talk as much as you want would show sincerity.

I agree with involving the family and friends around, though I think that's a guy thing. I didn't involve my family nor friends, but he made sure that his friends played with me and that I added them and talked to them. He also talked to his whole family about me before we even met and I skyped / talked on TS with everyone before I came.

[Elizabeth123]

I agree with the above posters..work is work.
Other times though to show your support and listen and give real advice if needed.
Feeling that you are a part of each other's day if only for a few moments...

[BabyGund]

We're both home for the holidays and want to spend all day long on the computer with each other.

[FoxxieKay]

I don't know about that. I think there are people who use LDRs to dodge responsibility, have their cake and eat it too. Just look at this forum. I think it mostly pertains to a certain age and it makes me so happy I'm not that young anymore, I wouldn't be able to handle that wishy-washiness.

How to know if someone is serious about you? They don't go back and forth with their feelings about you and your relationship.

Oh. My. Gosh. I've never seen something so accurate.
I had an on and off again LDR..we broke up and got backtogether 6 times. He'd end it..and i'd take him back because he'd say " i've changed..i will take it seriously now"
well. i was finally strong and didn't take him back...
because you're exactly right.....

someone that is serious won't go back and fourth with their feelings...and won't be with you one week and break up the next.

[hopefulteapot]

It's serious if it's obvious he's committed to you. I've only been with my boyfriend for about a year now and we are 100% committed and serious as we constantly talk about the future. It's something that you should never have to ask, you just know it!

[differentcountries]

It's something that you should never have to ask, you just know it!

But people want to know, still, especially if they have been hurt in the past or have other reasons to become sceptical. Asking if the other person is serious aqknowledge that it is not always straightforward.

[stormy]

I have to strongly disagree with this one:


No, when you're at work, you should do your damn job and leave each other alone.

I have to disagree with this... I do not believe that it has to be that you have to contact people in a way that takes away from your or their work. A simple "Thinking of you" text while you know that your SO is busy can mean the world to the both of you. I know it has for me.