long distance and being ignored

[zendaya]

we talked last night but still nothing about "us". im trying slowly to connect with him, i invited him to watch a movie online. and im trying to figure out how, any suggestions? he said ok to it. maybe i can get him to open up a bit little by little and not push him away

[piratemama]

we talked last night but still nothing about "us". im trying slowly to connect with him, i invited him to watch a movie online. and im trying to figure out how, any suggestions? he said ok to it. maybe i can get him to open up a bit little by little and not push him away

If you have Skype, you can find a movie online and use screen share. If not, you can both find the same movie and watch at the same time while talking on the phone. It's hard to sync them to start at the same time, but you can get close enough. I really like to find videos and stuff that interest my SO on YouTube and screen share on Skype.

[Dezface]

I think you should really focus on trying to get to the US to be with your child. I'm sure there is some kind of group or agency who could give you advice. The fact of the matter is that while yes, your relationship is important, it's not what's most important. And right now with you being in another country, it puts your child in a precarious situation. Your SO is withdrawing from you and you need to make sure he doesn't decide to legally take away your rights to the baby. I have absolutely no idea how you would go about all this, but you should really look into it. It just doesn't sound good from what I'm reading.

[xanzbarr]

I think you should really focus on trying to get to the US to be with your child. I'm sure there is some kind of group or agency who could give you advice. The fact of the matter is that while yes, your relationship is important, it's not what's most important. And right now with you being in another country, it puts your child in a precarious situation. Your SO is withdrawing from you and you need to make sure he doesn't decide to legally take away your rights to the baby. I have absolutely no idea how you would go about all this, but you should really look into it. It just doesn't sound good from what I'm reading.

I agree, I would be really concerned about my child considering the way he is acting right now. Do talk to someone to get legal advice as to custody of your child. He could be keeping you at arms length to gain legal rights while you are away. I hope not but Id be worried..of course im a worry wort too....

[zendaya]

i have been advised by my lawyer about it too. but right now, going back to the US is no longer an option for me, coz i dont have a visa anymore to go there.i am still waiting for my divorce to be final to be able to get back there and get my child. i did not want to leave the baby, it was heartbreaking for me to leave the baby. i was crying almost everyday even until now. my situation is just complicated, if i bring my baby with me here, i could lose my kid here to my ex husband . he will do everything in his power to get my son from me here. thats the reason why i had to leave him there for now. it hurts very much and i am scared as hell to lose them both. but his family is not like that. his family has assured me that it will never happen that he's going to keep the baby, they will not allow it.

[CynicalQuixotic]

i have been advised by my lawyer about it too. but right now, going back to the US is no longer an option for me, coz i dont have a visa anymore to go there.i am still waiting for my divorce to be final to be able to get back there and get my child. i did not want to leave the baby, it was heartbreaking for me to leave the baby. i was crying almost everyday even until now. my situation is just complicated, if i bring my baby with me here, i could lose my kid here to my ex husband . he will do everything in his power to get my son from me here. thats the reason why i had to leave him there for now. it hurts very much and i am scared as hell to lose them both. but his family is not like that. his family has assured me that it will never happen that he's going to keep the baby, they will not allow it.

I second xanzbarr: have you talked to a lawyer about this? Is there any free or low cost legal aid in the Philippines? It is very, very rare for a court (in the US) to give full custody to a father over the mother. It is not right for you to be denied access to your child. I hope you're able to find a solution.

[zendaya]

i now that probably is the best thing to do right now, buti dont want to do anything yet to make things worse. i am still willing to make this work for my baby, and i still have some faith in us this will work out. but if this will continue on for long, then ill make that decision when i get there and im able to get my baby.

[xanzbarr]

i now that probably is the best thing to do right now, buti dont want to do anything yet to make things worse. i am still willing to make this work for my baby, and i still have some faith in us this will work out. but if this will continue on for long, then ill make that decision when i get there and im able to get my baby.

Good I am glad you are thinking that way and also I think its a good idea to have the best relationship you can with him. Maybe itll work out and it never hurts to get along well considering the baby.

[zendaya]

yes thank you. i am still hopeful that things will still work out for the baby's sake. ill give it more time. but i do need to seek legal options just in case i cannot take this anymore.

[Ahava]

Your SO is not the father of the baby, but is still looking after him?

[differentcountries]

Or do you have two young children?

[zendaya]

the one with my SO is our biological baby, the one i have here is my child with my ex husband.

[zendaya]

I totally understand you missing both him and the baby! Do you Skype with the baby? What is your life like where you live ; any interesting things to tell him? Can you flirt online? Tell him you miss him by remembering together with him? Do you have plans for visits?

i tried to flirt with him online, but he doesnt say anything about it, he doesn't even react. is that normal?? i dont understand he use to luv flirting with me online but now he doesn't.

[Chris516]

hello, i am glad i found this site and i hope this will help me thru the pain im going thru right now. i think i am in a weird relationship right now and its long distance which makes it more hard. my boyfriend proposed to me in April 2012 and he had to go back to his home country. we had a baby and unfortunately the baby has to stay with him and i had to go back to my home country. initially we were so much in love, we talked everyday and he even answered every call i made, even at work. we even skyped everyday, even when he was tired from work. but then two months after we were apart, he changed. he said he loved me and is tired of always proving that to me, he said im always full of drama and that for him nothing has changed. he still wants the same things he said, and still wants to marry me when i get back there. but now, he said, if there is nothing important to talk about he doesnt want to talk to me, coz he said im always nagging him and complaining. i am just afraid for us to grow apart. i dont know what to do. please help

Since you are not married to him, why does he have the baby. This is also destroying your mother-child bond with the baby. Normally, I am on the father's side. But your situation is different.

[differentcountries]

i tried to flirt with him online, but he doesnt say anything about it, he doesn't even react. is that normal?? i dont understand he use to luv flirting with me online but now he doesn't.

It is not unusual, but it's also not good. Have you told him you miss the flirting?