I need help or advice

[CynicalQuixotic]

I don't ever drink just cuz I never cared and when I go to things I have an amazing time cuz I'm with friends and it's all fine
I just don't see why we have to spend an extra 600 dollars for drinking it's really sad.
This is all actually pissing me off so bad and I'm having horrible panic attacks from it

To be fair, I come from a stupidly affluent area where it's considered tacky to not have an open bar. I realize it's really expensive and a cash bar would be a good compromise. All of the money-spending that goes along with weddings is why I'll probably never have one of my own, but I digress. That's not what this thread is about.

I'm sorry this is giving you panic attacks. It's your wedding and you can obviously do whatever you want, but in all honesty, most of your guests will be put out by a completely dry wedding.

[itsjen516]

If you guys were having an event and were against would you really want it around your event ? Or would you be really annoyed to ?

[snow_girl]

If I was having an event and say half the people wanted tomatoes on everything, while I hate tomatoes I would still have them there so that the others could enjoy them, I would just not eat them.

[Tooki]

If you guys were having an event and were against would you really want it around your event ? Or would you be really annoyed to ?

I would allow people to do it. Just because they want to drink doesn't mean that you have to drink.

I'm a non-smoker but I wouldn't tell people that they cannot smoke AT ALL.

[itsjen516]

Because being slightly drunk (as in, in control of your faculties and not blacking out or vomiting) is fun. There is no way around it. Your inhibitions are slightly lowered, you laugh more, you dance if you aren't usually inclined to dance, you dance *better* if you are. And this is coming from someone who gets tipsy after one drink and does not like drinking to excess.

To be fair, I come from a stupidly affluent area where it's considered tacky to not have an open bar. I realize it's really expensive and a cash bar would be a good compromise. All of the money-spending that goes along with weddings is why I'll probably never have one of my own, but I digress. That's not what this thread is about.

I'm sorry this is giving you panic attacks. It's your wedding and you can obviously do whatever you want, but in all honesty, most of your guests will be put out by a completely dry wedding.

I'm wondering how many people even notice it's dry like ill have a bar but only have a list of drinks and have them alcohol free

[snow_girl]

I'm wondering how many people even notice it's dry like ill have a bar but only have a list of drinks and have them alcohol free

The half that wants to drink, will indeed notice.

[CynicalQuixotic]

I'm wondering how many people even notice it's dry like ill have a bar but only have a list of drinks and have them alcohol free

Oh, honey. People notice when drinks aren't alcoholic.

If you guys were having an event and were against would you really want it around your event ? Or would you be really annoyed to ?

You have a decent point there, but it's an undeniable fact that drinking at large gatherings is a socially sanctioned event in Western culture and has been for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Nobody is saying that you HAVE to have alcohol at your wedding, only that if you want most of your guests to have a good time, you probably should. Most people have trouble sitting through long speeches without a drink or two.

[Laural007]

You asked for advice or help which they gave you, that clearly you didn't want...maybe next time change the post to "ranting only" so that you don't get advice that you truly don't want.

[Moon]

I give up never mind OMG I give up.

You've only just begun your planning, and you're letting yourself get way too upset over one aspect of the day, what is going to happen when you're getting closer to the day itself? You know posting here doesn't guarantee you'll like the advice you'll get, but don't get so stressed over it. I've been married twice, lyonsgirl just pulled off a big wedding a couple of months ago, so at least take into consideration that people are only trying to help you and that there's some experience here you can learn from. Weddings suck, they do. The planning is incredibly stressful, people fight with one another, families act like jerks, and all you'll want is a little peace and control, as you try to not rip somebody's head off! Accept that, and just try to go with the flow. Compromise where necessary, so you can leave the most important things to you. Before arguing with someone over something, decide if it's really worth it in the long run, then see if there's a creative solution. If you just get mad, and runaway from it, nothing will get done, and everyone will just be angry and miserable. Trust me on this one, I'd rather play in traffic than ever plan a wedding again.

Yes, your family will try to control the whole things, it's what families are for But, how you react and how you treat everyone around you will play a huge factor in whether it'll really be the best day of your life, or if you'll just want it over with. Most of us go through this, you aren't alone. Good luck.

[snow_girl]

You asked for advice or help which they gave you, that clearly you didn't want...maybe next time change the post to "ranting only" so that you don't get advice that you truly don't want.

Ranting only = blog it!

[CynicalQuixotic]

Ranting only = blog it!

Ranting only = Don't post it anywhere on the Internet with any sort of comment function.

[itsjen516]

I would allow people to do it. Just because they want to drink doesn't mean that you have to drink.

I'm a non-smoker but I wouldn't tell people that they cannot smoke AT ALL.

ya but smoking dosnt effect the way people act they just smell bad
I just know I been to weddings were people drink to much and end up acting like a idiot
My roomates all used to drink and they all came home at 2 am every week screaming and stuff
My fiancé said that at his brothers wedding the bride had a bar and her uncle got really drunk and took all his cloths off ahhahahah so I want to avoid those things

[hrp2007]

I agree with you. I see it like this, if they complain about it, they don't have to come. It's YOUR wedding after all. (Coming from a non-drinker.)

[snow_girl]

Ranting only = Don't post it anywhere on the Internet with any sort of comment function.

I stand corrected

[CynicalQuixotic]

ya but smoking dosnt effect the way people act they just smell bad
I just know I been to weddings were people drink to much and end up acting like a idiot
My roomates all used to drink and they all came home at 2 am every week screaming and stuff
My fiancé said that at his brothers wedding the bride had a bar and her uncle got really drunk and took all his cloths off ahhahahah so I want to avoid those things

You realize that you have to drink a lot (well, relative to your body mass) to get to that stage, right? Most people at weddings aren't binge drinking. They just want a freaking vodka cranberry to forget the fact that they have to interact with Creepy Uncle Lester and eat mass-produced Caesar salad.