I need help or advice

[snow_girl]

her uncle got really drunk and took all his cloths off ahhahahah so I want to avoid those things

I think this would make for an awesome wedding story!

[Photonut]

Honestly I think the majority of the people here (and in society) do not and will never understand non-drinkers (and to be honest will always be a tad selfish). My SO and I don't drink ether and don't plan on having alcohol at our wedding ( I have a lot of personal issues with alcohol). It will be on the wedding invitations and if people don't want to celebrate with us because there will be no alcohol, they can stay home! This day is about YOU and your finance. Its about celebrating love and the start of a new life together for the both of you.

You do not need alcohol to have a good time, i'm living proof of that. I have a fantastic life, great friends, family, great boyfriend and we all have a good time without any alcohol around. I get it, some people need it to "loosen up" but strictly in my opinion, those types of people tend to have more issues and insecurity within themselves even if they don't like to admit it.

Stick to your own beliefs, love. The people who care for you will come to your wedding no matter what and celebrate with you!

[lucybelle]

The worst wedding I ever went to was when the couple used to be Baptist so their families didn't drink, and they were newly converted Catholics. So the ceremony took like an hour AND THERE WAS NO BEER AFTERWARDS.

Seriously, I wanted to leave as soon as I realized that. It was awful.

Just saying.

Let me add- my cousin got married recently and he is a recovering alcoholic. He still had booze at his reception.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Honestly I think the majority of the people here (and in society) do not and will never understand non-drinkers (and to be honest will always be a tad selfish).

Come on, there's no need for that kind of self-righteousness. Nobody has said anything about itsjen's personal decision not to drink. We just think that weddings with no alcohol are boring.

This day is about YOU and your finance.

Well, that's certainly true...

[snow_girl]

Honestly I think the majority of the people here (and in society) do not and will never understand non-drinkers (and to be honest will always be a tad selfish). My SO and I don't drink ether and don't plan on having alcohol at our wedding ( I have a lot of personal issues with alcohol). It will be on the wedding invitations and if people don't want to celebrate with us because there will be no alcohol, they can stay home! This day is about YOU and your finance. Its about celebrating love and the start of a new life together for the both of you.

You do not need alcohol to have a good time, i'm living proof of that. I have a fantastic life, great friends, family, great boyfriend and we all have a good time without any alcohol around. I get it, some people need it to "loosen up" but strictly in my opinion, those types of people tend to have more issues and insecurity within themselves even if they don't like to admit it.

You clearly don't know much about alcohol. I also could say having a dry wedding is selfish.

[CynicalQuixotic]

You clearly don't know much about alcohol. I also could say having a dry wedding is selfish.

Exactly, there's only so much of "celebrating love and the start of a new life together for the both of you" that even people who really, truly care about the couple can take. You're throwing a party for other people as well.

[lucybelle]

Exactly, there's only so much of "celebrating love and the start of a new life together for the both of you" that even people who really, truly care about the couple can take. You're throwing a party for other people as well.

This is the way I see it- it's a party. If you don't want to have a party, that's fine. Have the ceremony and be done with it. I think not having alcohol at a party is like not having music at a party. What are you supposed to do the whole time?

[Photonut]

I think all of you failed to understand it is her religious view not to have alcohol. So basically, you are offending her religion by basically making fun of her and telling her her wedding is going to be boring because what? No alcohol? By the way, that personal issue I mentioned? My father was an abusive alcoholic and I have panic attacks whenever i'm around alcohol. So in your opinion I should just deal with it to make other people happy? The people that love me wont care either way. I think you guys really need to think twice before opening your mouths.

[itsjen516]

You realize that you have to drink a lot (well, relative to your body mass) to get to that stage, right? Most people at weddings aren't binge drinking. They just want a freaking vodka cranberry to forget the fact that they have to interact with Creepy Uncle Lester and eat mass-produced Caesar salad.

This is the way I see it- it's a party. If you don't want to have a party, that's fine. Have the ceremony and be done with it. I think not having alcohol at a party is like not having music at a party. What are you supposed to do the whole time?

That's dumb ... Have you ever been out with friends to just eat and have a nice time or to a concert and not drink.
You have fun with out it and you make the fun your self

[CynicalQuixotic]

I think all of you failed to understand it is her religious view not to have alcohol. So basically, you are offending her religion by basically making fun of her and telling her her wedding is going to be boring because what? No alcohol? By the way, that personal issue I mentioned? My father was an abusive alcoholic and I have panic attacks whenever i'm around alcohol. So in your opinion I should just deal with it to make other people happy? The people that love me wont care either way. I think you guys really need to think twice before opening your mouths.

I understand that people have issues with alcohol, and as I said upthread, if having a wedding with alcohol will really upset itsjen to that extent, she shouldn't have alcohol at her reception. It's her decision and her right. Will it negatively affect the overall quality of the party? Probably. That's just the truth.

Also, the religion argument isn't going to sway most of us. Devoutly religious people are the minority here.

That's dumb ... Have you ever been out with friends to just eat and have a nice time or to a concert and not drink.
You have fun with out it and you make the fun your self

First of all, I didn't call your decision not to drink and potentially miss out on a whole lot of under the influence shenanigans dumb, so there's no need to call me dumb for not agreeing with you. Secondly, friends and family are completely different animals. If you sincerely enjoy spending time with every single member of your family, and/or if every member of your family gets along well together under one roof, then please accept my (very sincere, honest to God) congratulations. Your family is much less dysfunctional than mine. I need a drink to get through most family dinners, much less a wedding reception. Mercy me.

[itsjen516]

I think all of you failed to understand it is her religious view not to have alcohol. So basically, you are offending her religion by basically making fun of her and telling her her wedding is going to be boring because what? No alcohol? By the way, that personal issue I mentioned? My father was an abusive alcoholic and I have panic attacks whenever i'm around alcohol. So in your opinion I should just deal with it to make other people happy? The people that love me wont care either way. I think you guys really need to think twice before opening your mouths.

See that's another thing I invited a lot of my church friends and they don't drink and others are under age
This is why I'm also upset that my family is being really rude to me about it

[lucybelle]

That's dumb ... Have you ever been out with friends to just eat and have a nice time or to a concert and not drink.
You have fun with out it and you make the fun your self

Wait. No one here has not even once attacked you for choosing to not drink. You asked about including alcohol and we're giving you reasons why we think you should. If you just wanted people to agree with you you probably should have just talked to your SO. And then you decided to call those of us who decide to drink dumb? Classy.

[snow_girl]

That's dumb ... Have you ever been out with friends to just eat and have a nice time or to a concert and not drink.
You have fun with out it and you make the fun your self

Geeze, people that drink alcohol aren't dependent on it for a good time. I don't know where people come up with this shit. Of course we are capable of having a good time sans alcohols but if you can enjoy a soda you can enjoy some rum in the same way. Drinking doesn't always mean getting drunk or relying on it for a good time, but it's nice to have. It's like popcorn at a movie, why wouldn't you have some???

[Photonut]

See that's another thing I invited a lot of my church friends and they don't drink and others are under age
This is why I'm also upset that my family is being really rude to me about it

Tell them they can either deal with it or to stay home! Its not fair that your family is giving you a hard time about -your- wedding.

[Moon]

Tell them they can either deal with it or to stay home! Its not fair that your family is giving you a hard time about -your- wedding.

And if her family is paying for it, I kinda doubt they'll do that, while staying home