In my personal experience, when men shut down and stop talking, they are hiding something. Tread lightly and think with your head, not you Heart. Good luck!
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I love him. Forever. And every day after that. -
Oh but you know, women be harpiesOriginally posted by snow View Post
they force men into lying.
Like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. - Steve JobsComment
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A real man can't be made to do anything.Originally posted by Malaga View PostOh but you know, women be harpies they force men into lying.Comment
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I don't think it has anything to do with being a man or woman. It is about your morality. They say the first time someones breaks a rule it is the hardest and each time afterwards it gets easier and easier. I don't think lying is any different. I agree, if he lied about this than most likely he will lie again. The fact is he knew what he was doing was wrong and that is why he lied about it. If he does not own up to lie and how wrong it was, I would never be able to trust him again and that would be a dealbreaker for me."Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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Polyamory is the obvious solution to all of this, everyone. Polyamory solves everything.Originally posted by piratemama View PostComment
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LOL. To each his own, but the OP does not seem to be okay with that so I don't think that will work for her. I would think any advice that is given to her should revolve around that concept and not other ones that contradict the very nature of it.Originally posted by CynicalQuixotic View Post"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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I probably laughed way harder than I should have.Originally posted by CynicalQuixotic View Posthttps://wearenottrayvonmartin.tumblr.com/
Makes my heart feel better a tiny bit.Comment
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LOL at this. Thanks for the replies everyone! I got him to finally talk to me last night and he apologized profusely (as he should have) and swore to me up and down he wouldn't do it again...he said he was afraid I would get upset with him going out..? Which I don't understand because we usually tell each other when we are. All there's left to do is trust that he won't do it again...but I made it clear if I find out about him lying again, it's a dealbreaker for me.Originally posted by CynicalQuixotic View PostComment
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Yeah, I knew that.Originally posted by CynicalQuixotic View Post
"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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Good! I'm glad you talked about it. Ex's are always a touchy subject so he probably thought you would have been mad if he told you and in his confusion he thought it would be better to lie.. which obviously is not the right way :POriginally posted by RachelAnne View Post
I'm all for second chances, so I second trying to trust he won't do it again!
Relationship began: 05/22/2012
First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015Comment
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I'm really glad to hear it was a bump in the road and nothing more serious.Originally posted by RachelAnne View PostComment
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Sometimes it does, yes. Sometimes it creates the same mountains out of a molehill that monogamy does, or worse. But I think it is more a human problem that some situations make us cowards, in one way or another, and we sacrifice truth or diginty to get some peace. I used to be very into lying vs truth, too. I was raised to never tell even white lies, and found it extremely offensive if someone lied to me. But then I read something, totally unrelated to lifestyle choice. It was something about lies was about not trusting the other to accept the gift of truth. Because truth IS beautiful. And most people lie out of desperation, not because they think it is ok to lie. I still think it is wrong to do it. So wrong and tempting in fact, that I think it takes the contribution of several people to uphold truth, and not just one person.Originally posted by CynicalQuixotic View PostI made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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You say lying is wrong but AGAIN, you are putting part of it on the person being lied to. Nobody chooses to get lied to. It is also not their responsibility to see to it does not happens. It is completely the fault of the liar to lie no matter how anyone tries to spin that to sound otherwise. I said what I did to Cyn because I felt it needed to be said. The OP is in a monogamous relationship and any advice that contradicts the nature of this is not going to be appropriate to her situation. I am surprised that you offer advice inferring three times that his lie was due to her actions. It wasn't, she is in a mutually committed monogamous relationship where they agreed to certain guidelines regarding going out. He lied about it and she found out.Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
Spin Spin spin......all sounds like something a person the lies says to make them feel okay about lying. I assume both your SO's are okay if you lie to them but mine would not be and I would never be. I had an Ex that cheated on me and lied about it months, was that out of desperation or because truth is beautiful and it was my responsibility to make sure he felt no need to lie? I call BullSh#$ on that. He lied because he wanted to frak the local bartender and not stay home with wife and child. I had another Ex that lied to me for a year that he had quit smoking when he never did. I did not give half a pooh about him continuing to smoke as I did being lied to for a frakin year. I felt violated, and he completely destroyed my trust in him and us. Most people lie because of low morals, they want to do something or not do something and feel that regardless of anything else they are going to have it their way, so they lie. Little kids do it all the time because they are immature, I consider lying a sign of immaturity too. If you think I am being hard on you sorry but every time you try to rationalize lying as part of the victim's fault, I will debunk it.
I am glad the OP did hold her SO accountable for his lies and equally glad that he owned it and how wrong he was and did not try to blame her for his actions and promised to never do it again. She trusts him and hopefully he learned his lesson and will not do it again."Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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he shut you out because he knew he got caught!Originally posted by Hollandia View Post
i'm glad he finally talked to you and apologized! and even more glad that you were able to express yourself and made it clear that you're aren't playing around. good luck girl! (:Originally posted by RachelAnne View PostComment
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