That would really bother me to. And ya like if you ask where he is he should tell you the truth. If my so was out with other girls I would be hurt and would start to question things.
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In this regard it depends on the relationship. I think she was more upset that he didn't tell her he was out with a girl than that he was out with a girl. I would feel the same way. Just depends on the boundaries of that particular relationship.Comment
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She was upset because he LIED to her. He told her he was working and instead went out with his Ex. She was upset about the lie.Originally posted by nottheprincesspeach View Post"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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Thanks for all the replies everyone, sorry this is a late response...
Quick little update: This week has been going great. My so and I were just talking and he told me that he was planning on going out again this weekend. I thanked him for letting me know, and then I asked him "Will you tell me again on the day you leave?" for some reason, this set him off and he completely blew up on me and accused me of not being able to trust him, how he didn't have any hope this would ever leave, and I just sat here dumbfounded because I just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to lie again and that he planned on telling me. Didn't mean for it to turn into this...now I have no idea what to do because once again, he left mid-argument and isn't talking to me. I'm not sure what to do anymore.Comment
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At this point, I would not trust him either. He is using offense as a defense. He should not be going out right after he lied to his GF and think everything is hunky dory. It is not. Frak that. Yes, at some point you just have to trust again, but he is far from there.Originally posted by RachelAnne View Post
He should be concentrating on spending time together to work this out and if he is leaving mid discussions then he is not owning his part of it and putting the work in that needs to be done to fix what was broken."Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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I'm so sorry he blew up at you. It does throw up a huge red flag that he grew so defensive. I'd be wary. Why should he get angry at you? Your question was perfectly acceptable under the circumstances.Comment
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I am sorry he is being so defensive, but asking a person if they will be open /honest in the future... You clearly distrust him, which is not unfounded, but I think you are a little naive. Either he wants to share, or he won't. Your distrust is not his incentiv to act as you wish. He already admitted he was scared of your reactions, which is a warning sign you seem determined to ignore.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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Are you trying to put blame on her again? What warning sign are you talking about? That he is cheating or that she should just sit back and let him do as he pleases?Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
She has every right to ask him that. You have to earn back trust, it is not just instantly there after it is broken. He owned his stuff and now he showing signs of doing it again. Who cares if he is scared? Scared of what now? Getting caught lying again?
If he was frakin around and she found out and forgave him and he started showing signs of that again, should she not ask? What exactly are you saying she should do, stop asking because it upsets him? How about he stops breaking the AGREEMENT they already had made and he again said he would adhere too. If he can't and this is a dealbreaker for her, then I would call it quits."Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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At this point I have to assume you're trolling this thread, even if you aren't usually a troll.Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
This was basically: "I'm going out this weekend."
"Okay, but it's Tuesday, remind me again on the day you're going out."
"WTF OMG I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU." *leaves*
There's nothing in the OP's behavior that is naïve or "ignoring warning signs." (Except maybe that he's being a jerk.. there's plenty of warning signs for that.)
Essentially what you're saying that if the OP's SO gets upset about anything, whether it's unfounded or not, she should cower and give in because he's obviously right and she's obviously wrong.
You're honestly suggesting she basically create an emotionally abusive situation? Yeah, that's great advice. Way to go.Comment
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I agree with the asking for the reminder. I ask for that when my SO is going out so that I don't call to pester him unless it is really important. That works both ways because then he knows if I call it is important, and I know if he doesn't respond to a text that he's having lots of fun and will respond later.Originally posted by silvermoonfairy3 View PostComment
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