I want to feel sexy!

[Benni]

My SO is also really good about his compliments. He has a way of saying them in a real and detailed manner. He doesn't use only generalized comments. He'll say "you make that top look good," for example.

My guy is genuine, too. I can tell it's not put on or fake. He's good at complimenting my clothing and hair, too.

OP, I hope you get what you need. It DOES make you feel so good!

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

My guy is genuine, too. I can tell it's not put on or fake. He's good at complimenting my clothing and hair, too.

OP, I hope you get what you need. It DOES make you feel so good!

Mine is good with complimenting me too. I can be on Skype with my hair a mess, and he still says I look sexy! And it doesn't matter what I'm wearing. He's seen me in pajamas, before, with a red nose from a cold. But I'm still his sexy Lady.

[XxFranticLovexX]

I get told that I'm cute/adorable all the time.. but I rarely hear the word 'sexy'. He'll say it very rarely, but I don't really need him to tell me as long as he can show me. Little gestures and comments can mean a lot too, even if the words "you're sexy" are never actually said.

[Chillosaurus]

My man knew just exactly what to say the second time we were on Skype video. [...]

Good for you. Great to hear that you are both communicating on the right channels!
(Although it has not really anything to do with my post...)

[ldrxoxo]

Honestly, I hate being called "sexy." If it's from a person I like as well, I'll let it slide, but I don't like random strangers calling me that. I get called that the most and I feel like they just want a quickie depending on who says it. I would rather they call me things like beautiful and cute. "Sexy" just sounds to me like they want to get it in then get it out. "Beautiful" sounds like they might care about me as more than a quick lay. Sexy in a way sounds objectifying if said in a particular tone.

[XxFranticLovexX]

Honestly, I hate being called "sexy." If it's from a person I like as well, I'll let it slide, but I don't like random strangers calling me that. I get called that the most and I feel like they just want a quickie depending on who says it. I would rather they call me things like beautiful and cute. "Sexy" just sounds to me like they want to get it in then get it out. "Beautiful" sounds like they might care about me as more than a quick lay. Sexy in a way sounds objectifying if said in a particular tone.

To some people that's the point. To feel desired and objectified by their partner. They want to feel that their SO wants them as much sexually as they do emotionally. 'Beautiful' is nice, but sometimes people want to be craved and desired and applying the sexual aspect to it gives them that. Yes, it's pretty much just implying that they want to have sex with the person, but that's kinda the point.


Also, offtopic but, I'll reply to that message eventually. I've been kinda busy lately. x_x;;

[Benni]

To some people that's the point. To feel desired and objectified by their partner. They want to feel that their SO wants them as much sexually as they do emotionally. 'Beautiful' is nice, but sometimes people want to be craved and desired and applying the sexual aspect to it gives them that.

Exactly!

[ldrxoxo]

To some people that's the point. To feel desired and objectified by their partner. They want to feel that their SO wants them as much sexually as they do emotionally. 'Beautiful' is nice, but sometimes people want to be craved and desired and applying the sexual aspect to it gives them that. Yes, it's pretty much just implying that they want to have sex with the person, but that's kinda the point.


Also, offtopic but, I'll reply to that message eventually. I've been kinda busy lately. x_x;;

Lol, no probs about the message, I understand.

Since I've been objectified most of my life it gets old for me whenever someone calls me that never having been cared for properly or viewed properly.

Whenever someone talks to me that way in my town they show themselves as not wanting to get to know me as more than that for the night. I swear some people in my area may just suck like that. When it's said by someone who shows they care more for me and it isn't just about that, I definitely like being called that, though.

[XxFranticLovexX]

Lol, no probs about the message, I understand.

Since I've been objectified most of my life it gets old for me whenever someone calls me that never having been cared for properly or viewed properly.

Whenever someone talks to me that way in my town they show themselves as not wanting to get to know me as more than that for the night. I swear some people in my area may just suck like that. When it's said by someone who shows they care more for me and it isn't just about that, I definitely like being called that, though.

Okay. ^_^;

That's understandable, but this topic is specifically about the persons SO, someone that they're already in a relationship with. It's not about random men objectifying them on the street, it's about someone that they already know has an interest in them in more than just a sexual way.

[FromTheHeart]

Wow I am sorry for being so late to reply to responses! I have been busy and away....I will work on replying back

[FromTheHeart]

And personally, I don't think it's too picky or demanding to want to feel like a woman. I mean, who doesn't? I like being called cute and all, but if it was the only thing I ever heard, I'd definitely feel the same as you.

You are absolutely right

[FromTheHeart]

It's perfectly normal for you to want your SO to think you are sexy. It's really hard to feel sexual toward another unless we feel wanted and desirable, too. One thing my SO and I do a lot is talk. We talk about everything. We have asked many questions about every topic to get to know each other. I'll often ask a question then answer it, then he does the same. You could ask him what you do that makes him feel sexy, then you could share what he does to make you feel sexy. Next, you could ask if there were something else you could do to make him feel sexier and know he is desired. Then, you get to share the same! It's in an open and fun environment that, hopefully, comes after asking several easy questions to get the conversation moving. I think you could bring up most anything this way, as it doesn't put anybody on the spot.

Although I agree with most everything melarie said, I purposely avoid starting any sentence to my SO with "You should," "You shouldn't," or "You need." I read somewhere in a book about getting along with people that it is a way to set people on the defensive. I also had a guy once tell me not to tell him what he should do, because I didn't know. I got rid of him quick enough, but he had a valid point. It works to tell him what you need or how you feel. You could say something in general conversation like, "If you really want a hot woman, you have to make her feel sexy." It's good to lead into a talk about something like that by introducing an article you've read or something you heard on tv.

Good luck.

Very good tips. Thanks! Yes, I think telling someone they "should" do something makes them feel controlled, so I might avoid that word.

[FromTheHeart]

Shouldn't this feeling of being sexy come from your lovemaking or if you are currently seperated from the way you look at each other and talk dirty (about how it felt, when you kissed and ...)?
You can not do much about it. You can not tell anyone how they have to feel about you. You already realised that it has to come from him and him solely agreeing to that he thinks you are sexy, because he doesn't want to hurt/contradict you, does not help you further.
Don't try to make the guy responsible for your insecurities. That is something you might want to address from within yourself.

Well, we are currently apart. I talked to him about it and he prefers to enjoy sexuality in person..rather than "talking dirty" over text or skype. I respect that and that may explain why he doesn't say I am sexy over the phone.

And you are right, I can't make him responsible for my insecurities and I have to gain self-confidence. I want him to call me sexy because he really wants to and not because he feels like he is "obligated" to. Anyway, I will be with him again in a few months and we shall see if it improves

[FromTheHeart]

I will try to say this the nicest way; Since you have such a youthful appearence, and this attracts your man, I think "cute" to him IS sexy. Cuteness is your sexual appeal. You may get him to use the word sexy, but why not just go with his way of wording it? If you want, you can always go "details". I love the details game, and I often ask either of my men for it if I feel insecure. Basically, I just want them to tell me in very detailed ways why it is I am loved, or what is attractive about me and so on. It is like an instant love letter and feels very reassuring. The guy think it is fun, too. Of course, if the word sexy means the world to you, try to explain why and it might become easier for him to use it.

I never thought of it that way Maybe you're right. And thanks for the "details" tip

[FromTheHeart]

To the OP: I totally understand that you want your partner to say that you are sexy! You don't just want to be "cute", especially when you try to look sexy. I would probably either bring it up and ask him if he thinks I am sexy or let him know that you're uncomfortable that you look younger than you are.

Yes, I told him that it bothers me how young I look and he is compassionate. I ask him if he thinks I look sexy, and he says yes..I just want him to tell me without being prompted if that makes sense.