Does he truly love me?

[Moon]

Honestly, Moon, TwoThree, snow_girl, you talk as if you don't remember what it feels like being in a new LDR (or in a new relationship for that matter), or what it feels like been 19, or as if you always read and follow the forum guidelines. I think we have all asked questions similar to Keisha's at one point or another. All I am saying is, lets be kind or quiet, it doesn't take much, really.

Keisha, if you want to ask anything, PM me

Thanks for the lecture, Mom. You can answer posts how you see fit, and so can I.

[Ahava]

My kids enjoyed watching the video, thanks for sharing dglynn77.

Also:

But seriously you can tell by his actions:

If he initiates contact (skypes you, sends messages, phones, emails = which ever app you use for communication), asks you how you are, takes an interest in your life, wants you to be happy etc I would say he truly loves you. Of course people are different and show it differently. But a golden rules is, if he loves you it will show from his actions. (Not necessarily lovey dovey stuff, coz not all guys are into that).

If you can make him laugh chances are he's got the hots for you!

[80anthea]

https://www.ask8ball.net/

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

IMHO, it's not about frustration from old-timers at how often these posts are made, but more about the nature of said posts. We CANNOT know what OP's SO meant when he asked if she loved him. We DO NOT know how he feels. We don't even know her enough or know her history with him, to be able to make guesses. As for the legitimate question about communication, I don't know that it's legitimate, honestly. I wouldn't know how to teach someone to communicate with their SO. You just communicate.

Right, we are not mind-readers, or psychics here, so we can't tell people the answers to questions that they can only get from their SO. Even how to communicate is something you learn together, with time. And 6 months isn't a long time to get to know someone, especially long-distance.

Even four years into our relationship, I'm still learning about my SO, and how to talk to him, when to bring things up, and how, and what his silences mean. I am just lucky that he is so patient, understanding, and easy-going, and he says we can talk about anything because we have an open communication. But, even so, as I found out last night, he does get frustrated with me sometimes, and feels like he's already said everything he can say on a subject. And I am getting used to his pattern of giving me lots of attention, and then backing off for a few days. It's just his way of handling things, and he does have a busy life, and a demanding job. I know the distance gets to him, too, sometimes.

[piratemama]

It wasn't rude, clearly sarcasm doesn't translate well. Could you really not see the unseriousness in my post??? o.0

I don't see the unseriousness of your post, either. It's hard to read sarcastic humor without it seeming rude and ugly, because we can't see your facial expressions or hear the tone in your voice.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months. When he came to visit me for the first time we had a great connection. But now that he's not here, he acts really distant. I love him and want to get closer to him emotionally but I don't know how. The first time that he told me that he loves me, he asked me if I loved him instead of just telling me that he loves me. What does that usually mean? Is there a way I could help our communication? I'm hoping I can help him to open up to me.

First, welcome to the forum. There are a lot of good people here, willing to share our experiences and help and support as we can. I would also recommend that you read the articles here, and download the e-books available. I especially recommend the Work Book. It has really helped me.

As for your questions, those are things you need to discuss with him. Try to have an open communication with him. Communication is so important in any relationship, but especially in an LDR. Use the technology we have available now, mobile phone, texting, Skype, Twitter, social networks, etc.

As for his question, asking you if you loved him, that is a pretty good indication that he loves you, and wanted to be sure you feel the same way, but if you are confused or uncertain, ask him. He might be the type like my guy, who doesn't tell you all the time. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And he could be distancing a bit after visiting you, because he is overwhelmed by his feelings, and needs to process them before he comes up for air again. Give him the time he needs.

By the way, how far away from him are you? That can make a difference in how posters here respond to questions.

Good luck with your new love, and I hope you will enjoy it here and get the support we all need sometimes.

[Ahava]

https://www.ask8ball.net/

I did and got a "yes"

[80anthea]

I did and got a "yes"

Yay.....unfortunately I'm doomed as I got 'don't count on it'. Oh well, it was awesome whilst it lasted.........

[piratemama]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months. When he came to visit me for the first time we had a great connection. But now that he's not here, he acts really distant. I love him and want to get closer to him emotionally but I don't know how. The first time that he told me that he loves me, he asked me if I loved him instead of just telling me that he loves me. What does that usually mean? Is there a way I could help our communication? I'm hoping I can help him to open up to me.

There are always ups and downs in any relationship, including an LDR. Communication is better some times over others. If he has anything on his mind worrying him, he might get distracted and distant. I've noticed my SO will get quieter and less expressive of his emotions, when he's thinking something over. I've learned to give him a few days and wait patiently, and he's always better with time. Most of the time these issues have nothing to do with us. You can certainly ask if anything's bothering him, but trust that everything's okay unless he tells you differently. Don't read anything there that isn't proven.

It is good to find ways to connect over Skype, if possible. If you can share a video via screen share that might make him laugh, that would be good. Laughter is always good. And, you'd have the video to talk about, asking him what he liked or didn't like about it.

I liked this video which talked about different communication styles for men and women. Although he is geared for Christians, it's not all religious; it's mostly about communication methods. It happens to be funny, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk

[Ahava]

Yay.....unfortunately I'm doomed as I got 'don't count on it'. Oh well, it was awesome whilst it lasted.........

I'm sorry to hear that


* * *

LOL

[differentcountries]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months. When he came to visit me for the first time we had a great connection. But now that he's not here, he acts really distant. I love him and want to get closer to him emotionally but I don't know how. The first time that he told me that he loves me, he asked me if I loved him instead of just telling me that he loves me. What does that usually mean? Is there a way I could help our communication? I'm hoping I can help him to open up to me.

Hi, I see why you may wonder. When someone deals with the pain of separation, they don’t always seem so loving. My bf acts really distant the first week after we separate. He will not even tell me he is sad, it is like he is too proud to admit it. I have to trick him into start talking to me again, haha... But then it is like a bubble bursting. Try to open up to him and tell him about your feelings, then he might open up to you too. You could perhaps get a better communication if you were aware that leaving after a visit is a little like having your heart broken. You may feel lots of negative or confused feelings towards the one you love. Try to talk about it being hard, and it will become a little easier.Use all the tips in here on how to stay in touch and get closer, use whatever works for you.

[Keisha]

Thanks everyone

[xanzbarr]

Good luck Keisha and I got "without a doubt"! wooo hooo