Not Sure What To Do!

[LaydeeJx]

hi guys just looking for a bit of advise tbh well first of me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years and tbh i dont know what to do anymore
1. i don't trust him
- in the beginning of out relationship he used to gamble and i asked him to stop, so he swore he would stop but then i found out he started again!.
- also i rang him and it said he was on the phone but he denied it and said he wasnt then admitted he was on the phone to a girl!.
- then he started messaging his ex and talking to her (saying he was sleeping but really he was on the phone too her :/.)
- also he hid from me that he met his girl friend for a drink.
- he just constantly lies about stuff.
2. the other day i said to him that he doesn't understand how much i love him and i asked him question like do you ever think about us having a future together and he said he doesn't like to think about it because it scares him and it makes him feel old...

truth is i love him with all my heart but all he does is lie to me he never shows any commitment... i just dont know what to do im so lost! and in such a lonely place!
i dont even know who i am any more! i just really don't know what to do

[Moon]

I think you do know what you need to do, you're just too scared, and not quite ready to do it. Imagine if you were reading this post, written by someone else. What advice would you give them?

[Kristin91]

You have to ask yourself if you can tolerate his lying. Is your love worth it? Honestly, it sounds like you do know what to do, you're just too afraid to admit to yourself that you can't be in a relationship with him anymore.

P.S. Please use a regular font (ie not bolded) for your posts. It makes them a lot easier to read!

[Jaac]

I am sooo sorry you're in this situation!!!!
I am always the one trying to make people think about the positive things instead of the negative.
I understand that you love your SO, and ofcourse you do after 5 years!
There are a lot of signals here that show that he might not feel the same way as before anymore.
trust is THE most important thing in a relationship and you should have a serious conversation about this girls he's been meeting.
And if he's still for a 100% in this relationship.

Because if he isn't, he should be honest about it.

[differentcountries]

Realizing you are in love with an undeserving person is never pleasant. I feel for you.

[squeeker]

Aww dear I'm so sorry! He doesn't seem to be valuing your relationship anymore. I think you need a serious conversation with him, telling him how you are feeling because of his actions. If he doesn't change, I think you will have to come terms with the unpleasant reality that this guy doesn't seem to be the right guy for you because he doesn't seem to be taking his relationship with you seriously. I really hope the best for you, but if this is the way he is acting, I think you deserve someone who will actually want to be with you. Though I can see that after 5 years that is not what you want to experience. He needs to be honest with you though if he does not want the relationship anymore, instead of lying to you about it. Good luck.. I'm sorry.

[jana89]

I am sorry you are going through this, I really am. For me, personally, this kind of behaviour after 5 years of relationship would be the major red flag. Mostly the fact that he claims not to think about future spent together. You should have serious conversation with your SO and move on from there. The best of luck

[miza]

maybe you are not ready yet, but surely you have thought of it....just calm down, start loving yourself and when you are ready, you'll know what to do....

but try to think this way: you say you love him. what do you love about him? you say he is a cheater, a liar, a gambler....he shows no sign of commitmet, but, really now, do you really want to spend your life with a man who lies, cheats, doesn't respect you?

sorry you're going through this