Met online vs met in person relationships

[maja]

i think theres a difference in what you miss, ive met my boyfriend online, but we didnt call each other boyfriend/girlfriend before we met in person, and so we have set the day we met as our anniversary date...
So i never actually missed my boyfriend before we were going out, yet i longed to be with him seeing as talking to him made feel so amazingly good, no one had ever made me feel that way before.
I feel people dont quite understood our relationship at the beginning and the way we met and got to know each other..god thank you facebook for giving me the most amazing thing ever happened to me. But all those critics are reallyy quiet now that weve been together for over a year...i sometimes wonder how life wouldve been if we had met cd...wouldve been better to have a bit of time together before he would have had to go to uni/england...and i think i maybe wouldnt have agreed to the whole ldr thing, so im really glad we met online..

[garnet]

I met my ex husband in person, and we lived near each other, and dated for about a year. He was then sent off to school in another state (we were still in high school), for his senior year. We decided to give LD a shot. Our relationship just tanked. The communication died. We tried, but ended up breaking up only a couple months in. (Once he came back to town, we got back together, and got married.) Due to that, I sometimes have a hard time relating to those who started CD and went LD successfully. When we tried, it just seemed impossible. We didn't really trust each other, the mail / phone calls faded away...

Rane and I having met online, totally opposite thing happened. Our communication was the foundation of our relationship. We had to have enough faith to put full trust into each other, despite having never met. Oddly enough, it was easy. We knew each other inside and out. Just not physically. I think it was a blessing to meet online. I hated it, and I hated it far more after we met IRL, but it was probably the best thing that could have happened to us.

Anyway, yeah, I do think sometimes it's hard to relate to those that got into the LDR differently than you did. Not that we don't all try to understand each other and offer the best support we can. I like that we can all come together on this board, knowing that in one way or another, we all share at least one common experience, that of living away from your SO. It's support only those that have lived it can truly understand and give, I think.

[hellojamie]

I met my SO in person and we were together for five months before we became an LDR, but I knew going into it that he was moving and so that kind of changed the scope of our relationship. I know I acted differently (read: moments of crazy) because I always felt like there was this ticking clock constantly looming above us. Then he left and it took almost a year for me to completely get used to the distance.

I have trouble relating to people that have met completely online, just because online dating is something I don't have any experience with. I'm not completely foreign to the concept- I met a girl through a livejournal RPG and we ended up being roommates my first semester of college. It ended horribly, just because despite having talked for hours and hours with her, creating awesome fiction together, texting and communicating all the time, she was -nothing- like I thought she was when we actually met in person. She was loud, obnoxious, rude, got offended by everything to the point that she offended people herself, was not at all concerned with personal hygiene... I could go on and on. I know she is a special case and had a lot of issues, and I'm sure everyone on these forums showers regularly, as do their SO's. But that experience really left a bad taste in my mouth as far as meeting people online.

However, as others have said, we're all in LDRs. Some of us live 30 minutes apart, some of us have SO's on the other side of the world. It doesn't really matter how we all met, just that we're all here.

[squiddie]

I don't question the validity. I mean hey, one my and my SO's good friends met his now wife online and they're doing great. Granted it was never an LDR for them, but still. There is a fear that the person you meet online is not who he/she is in real life.

I met my bf through mutual friends (one of his good friends was my roommate's brother) and we were CD for about 9 months before going LD. In some ways I feel like having someone close by before dealing with the LDR can be harder, because you got so used to him/her being there, and suddenly they're not. And for people who are used to being around the both of you, it suddenly feels weird when only one is around.

[ErinKristine]

I met my SO in person. I've never met an SO online I don't have much of a comparison. It is hard for me to relate to the people who have met their SOs online, but have yet to meet in person. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I guess I just have hard time wrapping my mind around that concept.

[Miranda]

we were neighbors, friends at first and then fell for one another and lived together and spent alot of time together contently for six months. His job moved him to the other side of the state and now we are learning to adjust to a new routine which was so free and comfortable before. It has brought me to emotions that I never knew I posessed. My sleep is next to nothing, and our 'spark' has been placed o hold. That's what it feels like in general, like being placed on the longest hold that could be imagined.
It's very hard to express or joke via phone, as at times, your intentions can be mis-construed. Where before, we would instantly 'click'. My patience has been excersized and continues to grow stronger and my love for him confirmed through my tremendous feeling that this is temporary, not forever. I feel good things lie ahead for us both. I believe in us. Together, our energy is a combination that cannot be matched, therefore, I remain loyal to this rare, wonderful blessing.

[Čternity]

We met online, just over a year ago, and will meet finally in October. It is very different meeting online because all you have are your words to communicate how you feel. Another dimension was added when we got the webcams happening so we could see each others faces and expressions when we talked. It has provided a great foundation for our relationship, guess it is like an extended courtship because we've been unable to touch yet. Reminds me of 'Pride and Prejudice'. I used to feel alone sitting next to my ex-husband because we didn't know how to really talk to each other. But now, even though my SO is over 8.000 miles away I feel closer to him because we have done nothing but talk for 12m now.

[Karringtyn]

I used to feel alone sitting next to my ex-husband because we didn't know how to really talk to each other. But now, even though my SO is over 8.000 miles away I feel closer to him because we have done nothing but talk for 12m now.

OMG!!! I just had to call my love back and read him what you said....even though we aren't 8,000 miles away......YOU SAID IT! I was in a going nowhere marriage for many many years...with NO communication..in fact I think when I spoke he hated it..and now...well our communication is amazing.

Again Eternity..you took the words out of my mouth!!!

[vixx360]

For us the LDR has been a godsend in the "getting to know you" phase of our relationship. The fact that I could hide behind my hands literally when asking or replying to some of his questions or freely blush furiously safe in the knowledge that it was only me that knew that I was struggling, enabled us both to be more open with each other than either of us would of been under normal circumstances. It was liberating to actually be myself and this fearlessness has carried on through our relationship, although we quickly learnt how to read the long pauses or stupid replys during conversations. Most of our communication is carried out in IM, it's the format that we have both become used to and it means that the occasional phone call is such a treat, we cherish them almost as much as time spent together in real-life.

I don't know how different relationships are that have started CD but I do know that starting this on-line was as scary as it was liberating, the whole chemistry issue was a real worry for both of us and I don't suppose that you who have started CD have to concern yourselves with that but once it goes LD we're all in the same boat on that one..."will he still like me when he sees me again", "do I look like he remembers?" and the worst one "does he look like I remember".

Meeting for the first time was just weird for the first hr or so, there were none of the usual 'getting to know you questions' available for breaking the ice, we'd already done all of that stuff. Our usual conversation routines revolved around me lying in bed waking up while he was having his tea (we're in vastly different time zones) and with out any of that we kind of just sat and stared at each other for a while. We soon sorted it all out with some time lying on the grass in a park snogging like teenagers :o).

But having met in person didn't really change our relationship other than dispelling the initial worries about attraction and cementing our need to continue the relationship.

So in summary; I think we're all pretty much in the same boat...