Advice Regarding a Girl That I Met Online Recently

[Arhat]

My SO lives a couple of hours from Manchester.
My dad is from Kent but left the country as soon as he could LOL (Finland wasn't his number 1 destination, but he ended up here and decided to stay for us because of the education system).

Bad economy seems to be the swear word everywhere nowadays
Here you can read in the paper about companies having to lay of people nearly on a daily basis.
A couple of close friends of mine have been unemployed (both have a bachelors or a masters education) for a couple of years now and actively trying to find a job.

I hope things are going well for you with your SO. I'm sure he will understand what I means about this country too, and your father from the sounds of it lol
All countries have their problems, but my god, the UK for me is like a prison sentence, I always refer to it as such lol, it's the only suitable description. A friend of mine came looking for work here from Poland, and he absolutely hates it. So I live in hope that I'll get my parole eventually when i'll have served my time. My life will truly begin when I leave here. You see, the thing is, I don't seek anything particularly extravagant in life, I don't seek to be self-realization or gratification through the prestige of a particular career, I've outgrown such notions. I'd be happy in what some might consider a menial job, I think there is too much career snobbery and division within society.
Speaking about this reminds me of what I like about her, career prestige or assets don't impress her, she wouldn't look down on me if I just wanted to live a simple life. She buys all of her clothes from second hand stores, and isn't materialistic at all. It's such a different attitude than what I've seen displayed by a lot of women. I went on a date with one woman last year, and it felt like a job interview. She was patently trying to asses my income, and the blatantly obvious way in which she did it, made it all the more despicable to me.

I think your father made the right choice about finland Ahava lol, I used to have some pen-friends from scandinavia. And by all accounts, the prisoners in scandinavian prisons seemed to enjoy a better and more luxurious standard of living than working-class people in England lol.

I'm going to remain positive though for now, even if i have to enter as a student, I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end, it will just be the next in many of my life's challenges so far, that have made me stronger.

[Ahava]

I hope things are going well for you with your SO. I'm sure he will understand what I means about this country too, and your father from the sounds of it lol
All countries have their problems, but my god, the UK for me is like a prison sentence, I always refer to it as such lol, it's the only suitable description. A friend of mine came looking for work here from Poland, and he absolutely hates it. So I live in hope that I'll get my parole eventually when i'll have served my time. My life will truly begin when I leave here. You see, the thing is, I don't seek anything particularly extravagant in life, I don't seek to be self-realization or gratification through the prestige of a particular career, I've outgrown such notions. I'd be happy in what some might consider a menial job, I think there is too much career snobbery and division within society.
Speaking about this reminds me of what I like about her, career prestige or assets don't impress her, she wouldn't look down on me if I just wanted to live a simple life. She buys all of her clothes from second hand stores, and isn't materialistic at all. It's such a different attitude than what I've seen displayed by a lot of women. I went on a date with one woman last year, and it felt like a job interview. She was patently trying to asses my income, and the blatantly obvious way in which she did it, made it all the more despicable to me.

I think your father made the right choice about finland Ahava lol, I used to have some pen-friends from scandinavia. And by all accounts, the prisoners in scandinavian prisons seemed to enjoy a better and more luxurious standard of living than working-class people in England lol.

I'm going to remain positive though for now, even if i have to enter as a student, I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end, it will just be the next in many of my life's challenges so far, that have made me stronger.

Thanks. Things are great, it's only the distance and our "prison sentence" of having to be long distance for a long time. (We both have children)
So won't be closing the distance this decade. It is what it is LOL

You can get a lot of great stuff second hand that are as good as new. Just been selling my daughters too small clothes and some of mine at a second hand store. (We have a table there for the week).

LOL on the job interview date. But somehow is not surprising as the media and everything around us (+ what kind of friends you hang out with) dictates what you should look like, act like, wear, do, what your hobbies should be etc etc. A lot of people just follow the herd. Also besides having a long list of things women look for in their perfect partner they also seem to have it planned how things should go in life and in what order.

Yep the prisoners have it great over here LOL

[Arhat]

Thanks. Things are great, it's only the distance and our "prison sentence" of having to be long distance for a long time. (We both have children)
So won't be closing the distance this decade. It is what it is LOL

You can get a lot of great stuff second hand that are as good as new. Just been selling my daughters too small clothes and some of mine at a second hand store. (We have a table there for the week).

LOL on the job interview date. But somehow is not surprising as the media and everything around us (+ what kind of friends you hang out with) dictates what you should look like, act like, wear, do, what your hobbies should be etc etc. A lot of people just follow the herd. Also besides having a long list of things women look for in their perfect partner they also seem to have it planned how things should go in life and in what order.

Yep the prisoners have it great over here LOL

Yeah, it was hilarious that date lol, she text me after saying she wanted to see me again but that she had a number of other men that she was exploring friendship with on a platonic basis LOL. I sent a txt back saying I wish you success with finding the right candidate, call me old fashioned, but it's not my up of tea.

Yeah, you know, I actually was told by a scandinavian pen pal of mine ten years ago, that people from the third world commit crimes there in the hopes that they will be imprisoned lol

[Arhat]

Thanks. Things are great, it's only the distance and our "prison sentence" of having to be long distance for a long time. (We both have children)
So won't be closing the distance this decade. It is what it is LOL

You can get a lot of great stuff second hand that are as good as new. Just been selling my daughters too small clothes and some of mine at a second hand store. (We have a table there for the week).

LOL on the job interview date. But somehow is not surprising as the media and everything around us (+ what kind of friends you hang out with) dictates what you should look like, act like, wear, do, what your hobbies should be etc etc. A lot of people just follow the herd. Also besides having a long list of things women look for in their perfect partner they also seem to have it planned how things should go in life and in what order.

Yep the prisoners have it great over here LOL

Well, I just spoke to her, and she shared photos with me of her trip home, they were beautiful. It all appears to be completely innocent, she went to her hometown with her female roomate and this friend of hers, I can't imagine any threesome having transpired LOL. But yes, we spoke on the phone, she said she was sorry and that she'd been so tired the last few days. I said to her on the phone that I sometimes suffer from the male equivalent of PMS and she burst out laughing on the phone for over a minute. lol

[rondynash]

We meet different people every day and the one with whom we are impressed would be our friends.

[Ahava]

Well, I just spoke to her, and she shared photos with me of her trip home, they were beautiful. It all appears to be completely innocent, she went to her hometown with her female roomate and this friend of hers, I can't imagine any threesome having transpired LOL. But yes, we spoke on the phone, she said she was sorry and that she'd been so tired the last few days. I said to her on the phone that I sometimes suffer from the male equivalent of PMS and she burst out laughing on the phone for over a minute. lol

Sounds good

I like how you replied to that date of yours!

[Arhat]

We meet different people every day and the one with whom we are impressed would be our friends.

What do you mean Rondy Nash?

[Arhat]

Sounds good

I like how you replied to that date of yours!

Thanks Ahava - she said to me last night, I've talked with my boss about getting some time off for the end of september, and I replied, now isn't that a nice coincidence, and she laughed and said, yes it is

[Arhat]

?Not long now until my visit to her beautiful nation

[Ahava]

Not long! And I have our next visit/holiday just after that!

[Arhat]

Not long! And I have our next visit/holiday just after that!

You'll be visiting England?

[Ahava]

You'll be visiting England?

I fly to England then the next day we jump on a plane together and head to the Canaries for a week

[Arhat]

I fly to England then the next day we jump on a plane together and head to the Canaries for a week

How lovely - hope you both have a great time

[Ahava]

Thanks, I'm sure we will!

[Arhat]

Thanks, I'm sure we will!

Well, it's now less than a month from now, that i'm due to visit her city, and quite a few things have happened over the course of the last few weeks. A number of things, in fact, that make me question whether it's even worth meeting her at all; or indeed if she was the person that I thought she was.

Little over three weeks ago, I came online after work to see if she was online, and I though it's strange, she's made no effort to speak to me or contact me. So I sent her a link to something that we found amusing. No response, and when I attempted to speak to her she wasn't responsive at all. Then explained to me that she was in a bad mood as she had loaned a friend money and she could not go out and get wasted . following on from this a day or two later, after she had made no effort to contact me, I asked her how she was, and that she could speak to me, if need be. She assured me that it was nothing I had done, and that she had just been in a bad mood over the aforementioned occurrence. Nonetheless, I wanted to get an answer either way, and she said: "Yes, I've been in a bad mood, but at the same time, I felt like I had ran out of things to say." There and then, I thought to myself 'Oh, that's nice'.

A few days later she apologised profusely and then said how much she had missed me, and made an effort to ask about what I had been busy with lately. so we talked for awhile, and then she went out to celebrate her birthday. All she seems to care about is getting wasted and spending her money on this.

The thing that really disappointed me was something weird that happened. Recently she had sent me some books and wine by post, and I enjoyed them a lot. And as it was her birthday, I thought to myself, I'll send a card. so I looked on the return address written on the parcel and I thought to myself, this is wrong. I knew her address, as we had talked about me looking for a place to live in her neighbourhood for when I go there as a student, so I knew the postal code. and she had shown me her apartment on googlemap as there was something amusing across the street from her. So anyway, one of the digits of her apartment number was incorrect, the name of the street was slightly different, and the postcode had the number 2 instead of 1, which is a different area altogether. I just felt incredibly insulted by this, for a number of reasons:
1. It's an insult to my intelligence, in her mind she thinks oh, he's just a man, he won't notice something like this.
2. It's like altering her address means, either; she didn't want to receive anything further from me and she could say it got lost in the post, or she doesn't trust me (despite inviting me to her place in a month from now).
Now, it could be perfectly genuine that she made an error, but really, I find it so unlikely for a number of reasons.

1. She has shown me her street on googlemap a number of times
2. What person forgets the name of their street? The number of their apartment? Or indeed even the postal code of the area incorrect AFTER having shown it you multiple times online.

I confronted her with this, after I decided not to send her a physical card, after feeling insulted. And I got the impression that she felt a sense embarrassment that she had been found out, and it had backfired on her. As she changed her story a few times. which confirmed it for me. It went from: "I would not write the wrong address, as the postal service need it to return a letter." And when I pointed out to her that the number of her area was 1 and not 2, she said: "Oh, maybe I wrote my old address down by mistake." Oh, so that's the the wrong apartment address but slightly modified.

We speak as normal, and everything seems okay. But still, a no interest in me whatsoever, but responsive none the less.

We didn't speak for a whole week, and she completely ignored me, never even bothered to leave me a message to ask how I was. I spoke to her and she was distant again. She made another lie this time about her computer being repaired at work, and the other computer there is too slow being the reason why she hadn't spoken to me. A pathetic excuse, as she has a computer at home, and her phone is even faster than her home computer.

so anyway, I thought I'd ask her a question on French grammar as an excuse to speak to her, she was happy enough to answer my question and was cordial. but just the same. I told her I had sorted out my new passport, and she remarked that it won't be long till i'm there now, and that she was looking forward to meeting me (Yeah, it really shows). I asked her which days would be best for her for us to go to a nearby city, she just said the same thing as last time, that she might be able to get a few days off work etc.

I just feel really let down by all of this, I haven't done anything towards her, and she says I have done nothing wrong either, but I just feel like a complete fool to have wasted time on her, I actually thought she might have been a decent person, and to just change so suddenly. I was a little irritated at her total ignorance lately, I could not understand it.

I honestly thought she seemed like a genuine girl.

Honestly, no offence to the women that happen to read this, but I'll never understand women as long as I may live. lol After being so ignorant towards me these last two weeks, I don't think I could ever be the same towards her again. It would take a hell of a lot, but honestly, I don't think she would be capable of it. And what's more is, two of my friends there, that know her personally have told me things about her that made me see her in a different light. I'm still looking forward to my trip, and the possibility of moving there immensely, I feel that it will be a really nice journey.