Advice Regarding a Girl That I Met Online Recently

[Moon]

1. It's an insult to my intelligence, in her feminist addled brian she thinks oh, he's just a man, he won't notice something like this.

Seriously?? With that kind of crap attitude, I'd ignore you, too. And, who's Brian?

Here's a hint: Start treating women with respect and maybe you won't get ignored once they get to know you.

[lilspitfire]

1. It's an insult to my intelligence, in her feminist addled brian she thinks oh, he's just a man, he won't notice something like this.

Seriously?? With that kind of crap attitude, I'd ignore you, too. And, who's Brian?

Here's a hint: Start treating women with respect and maybe you won't get ignored once they get to know you.

Poor Brian

[Arhat]

I wrote that in haste. I edited my post, as I thought it might cause offence, It doesn't reflect what I really think on women or my views on them, I was merely annoyed at how she treated me, and the kinds of things she says about men, I hope you understand that. If I disagree with an ideology doesn't mean I have no respect for women now, does it? If I disagree with marxism it doesn't mean that I hate all the inhabitants of socialist republics does it? You see, because I disagree with feminism as a flawed ideology, in your mind that automatically means I have no respect for women. You make an assumption before you know anything about the kind of person I am. so often I'm appalled when I see how women are treated under religions in other countries or stoned to death in the middle-east. Or complain at how a woman is treated with no respect or dignity from a man, but it's okay because in your mind you've already made up your mind as to what kind of person I am.

My apologies if I caused any offence to you. It's never been a point of contention between her and I, but when I hear her repeat all of this, and what other women say, I see a lot of it as being no better than the kinds of things than chauvinist males espouse.

Brian is a nice chap, I knew him well.

[Arhat]

Seriously?? With that kind of crap attitude, I'd ignore you, too. And, who's Brian?

Here's a hint: Start treating women with respect and maybe you won't get ignored once they get to know you.

My sincere apologies, Moon.

[digitalfever]

You haven't even met this person and you already have an arguement in your mind as to why you shouldn't meet up with her.

Stop talking to this woman and move on.

[Arhat]

you're absolutely right. It's not worth it at all.

[Moon]

My sincere apologies, Moon.

No problem, but keep in mind that this forum ia almost all female. That's not a good way to get help here.

That said, if she truly does speak that way about men, and feels that you're all a bunch of morons, why bother with her? If she can't tell you the truth, is she really worth the aggravation? It doesn't sound like she's taking you very seriously at all, more like you're just there for her entertainment.

[Arhat]

I'm so sorry to have said that. If it had been a man that had aggravated me, I would've said something similar regardless of gender. Mysogynistic tendencies are just not in my nature at all. The thing is, even if I disagree with some of the tenets of feminism today, it doesn't mean that I don't think that it was right for its' time. Here in England, women gave their own lives so that women could vote and have simple things that people take for granted today. Women born in western countries today have it much easier than women of previous generations, and have not had to fight for these things in the same way, they don't suffer the discrimination that previous generations of women did. I just truly feel that such movements have lost their way, in a sense. I often see feminism attacking the wrong things, if you get me. very often I see feminists supporting certain religions that are male dominated, no names.

A lot of things that call to mind now make me feel foolish, that I knew about, but should've bore in mind that she was wrong for me. I think with it being a long time since I'd met someone, I got carried away.

[Ahava]

I'm so sorry to hear this Arhat.
Before you throw it all away, why not write her an email (when you are calm) and tell her about your feelings and give her the change to explain.
If you don't get a solid, valid, desent explanation and/or she doesn't own up, then you will have your answer and can let her go.

[p_b82]

As another male who has had a few casual relationships online, a 2 year LDR with an older lady, and recently started another LDR after a long term CD relationship ended, I can say that reading your posts you come across as very impulsive and some-one that wears there emotions on their sleeves for all to see.

I would say that to start with she really liked the attention, and maybe more recently she has found some-one else CD that is giving her the same ego boost and actual physical contact too.

It seems to me that while she has seen you as a very close friend, you may not have made it into 'BF' in her mind and therefore you two have had a disconnect somewhere. If you still like her as a friend then go visit and see how it goes, there might be spark and you might be worrying over nothing. Or she may have moved on, that is of course the other side of the coin.

I'd take what other people say about other's with a pinch of salt as well.

My Ex had a 'terrible' reputation and a mutual friend that grew up with her warned me off when I told him that I was seeing her in the early days. We did fall out over her view point on sex and relationships in the end (I am a one woman guy, she wanted to the freedom to sleep around but come back to me) but she was faithful to me right until the end, even if she often resented the fact. I know for a fact I am the only male she has remained faithful to in any relationship as she told me about all of her ex's and one that were just conquests too.

Incase it is too long, here is my summary, go out there for your trip, enjoy it for the holiday out the UK it is, and see if things spark off between you when you are there. If they do, have the conversation about next steps etc, but don't be disappointed if she is just offering friendship at this point. There may be something going on in her life that is just distracting her too, something she doesn't wish to talk about at all, so give her a little slack.

Good luck though and enjoy the trip!

[lilspitfire]

I'm so sorry to have said that. If it had been a man that had aggravated me, I would've said something similar regardless of gender. Mysogynistic tendencies are just not in my nature at all. The thing is, even if I disagree with some of the tenets of feminism today, it doesn't mean that I don't think that it was right for its' time. Here in England, women gave their own lives so that women could vote and have simple things that people take for granted today. Women born in western countries today have it much easier than women of previous generations, and have not had to fight for these things in the same way, they don't suffer the discrimination that previous generations of women did. I just truly feel that such movements have lost their way, in a sense. I often see feminism attacking the wrong things, if you get me. very often I see feminists supporting certain religions that are male dominated, no names.

A lot of things that call to mind now make me feel foolish, that I knew about, but should've bore in mind that she was wrong for me. I think with it being a long time since I'd met someone, I got carried away.

Excuse me?!? We have it much "simpler" here in America as women? I don't think so. Have you ever even lived here? If you haven't, don't base what you say on books and TV. You know **nothing** about what we have to fight for here. So yeah. Gee, with your sexist ways, I can see why she wants nothing to do with you.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Excuse me?!? We have it much "simpler" here in America as women? I don't think so. Have you ever even lived here? If you haven't, don't base what you say on books and TV. You know **nothing** about what we have to fight for here. So yeah. Gee, with your sexist ways, I can see why she wants nothing to do with you.

I knew I liked you!

I am not getting involved (again) in one of These Types of Threads, but I will say this: as a man, you obviously have intimate knowledge of whatever struggles women go through, Arhat.

[lilspitfire]

I knew I liked you!

I am not getting involved (again) in one of These Types of Threads, but I will say this: as a man, you obviously have intimate knowledge of whatever struggles women go through, Arhat.

I promised Michelle I wouldn't be a cloud of negativity because of being dumped, but that was totally and completely uncalled for. I would have said the same thing with different words if it were a woman too, so it isn't just because he is a man. I had to say something. He has no clue the struggles women still go through in the US. Correct me if I'm wrong, but has there not been a few women Prime Minsters? Where is our woman President? Hell, our woman Vice President? He needs to do some research before spreading lies about the web.

[Arhat]

Excuse me?!? We have it much "simpler" here in America as women? I don't think so. Have you ever even lived here? If you haven't, don't base what you say on books and TV. You know **nothing** about what we have to fight for here. So yeah. Gee, with your sexist ways, I can see why she wants nothing to do with you.

It seems you can't say anything right regarding any subject like this lol if you had read what I wrote, I said women of today have a much better situation than their forbears as they can vote, they can work in positions that they were not afforded in previous decades, there is nothing sexist about that. I don't know your situation in the USA, as I don't live there, but here in the UK women now have more rights than men.

[Arhat]

Well, it seems even having empathy towards the opposite sex is sexist as well, somebody neglected to tell me that. It's like if a person disagrees with multiculturalism they're a racist, if you talk about progress that has been made in societal terms you're a sexist! Wow!
Obviously, I've not lived as a woman CynicalQuixotic. but thanks for informing me that making any kind of observation or commentary on such things is automatically sexist if you happen to be from the wrong gender, what an interesting world it is that we live in!