Her parents made her miss the flight intentionally

[R&R]

Basically there is no legitimate reason to do something low like this other than the fact that it's her dad and he can abuse his power after anytime just because he's a parent. I have no legitimate case with all of this? That can't be possible.

It's not an "abuse of power" - it's making a decision as a parent. So, Unless the two of you can afford to move into your own place, you have to abide by their rules. That's reality. This is part of being an adult and the real world - you don't always get what you want and life isn't fair.

[D4Joseph]

If you guys were me or my S.O how would you feel? What would you do? Smile and act like it was all ok? It was ok to get robbed of opportunity.

[Moon]

Basically there is no legitimate reason to do something low like this other than the fact that it's her dad and he can abuse his power after anytime just because he's a parent. I have no legitimate case with all of this? That can't be possible.

Abusing his power...what???

You need to be less emotional and more rational. You don't make the rules here, your "case" has no bearing. I was something like 38 the first time I went to visit my guy, I'm a completely independent adult, with an adult child, and I make good decisions. Guess what? My parents STILL worried about me! The difference is I'm an INDEPENDENT adult, which your girlfriend isn't. Her parents really don't care how YOU feel about it, you have no say. I'm not sure you're getting that. I feel bad for you, I do, but you need to see the reality of your situation and deal with it more maturely.

[R&R]

If you guys were me or my S.O how would you feel? What would you do? Smile and act like it was all ok? It was ok to get robbed of opportunity.

Do you realize that a bunch of us in LDR's get "robbed of opportunities" all the time? My SO has missed 2 visits due to work. One that was paid for and non-refundable. It's called life. It happens. It's how you deal with it. You can cry and whine and be all "it's not fair" or suck it up and see what you can do going forward.

[crazycarrie06]

If you guys were me or my S.O how would you feel? What would you do? Smile and act like it was all ok? It was ok to get robbed of opportunity.

At your age - I'd probably have a screaming match with my mother and tell her they are the worst people on the planet out to destroy my life. All it would get me is a lot of tears and a sore throat.

I think I see things differently having lived on my own for sometime now. I am really starting to understand my parents better - I know I won't truly get it until I have my own children.

Do you realize that a bunch of us in LDR's get "robbed of opportunities" all the time? My SO has missed 2 visits due to work. One that was paid for and non-refundable. It's called life. It happens. It's how you deal with it. You can cry and whine and be all "it's not fair" or suck it up and see what you can do going forward.

I live in a country where it is unacceptable for an unmarried woman to associate with a man who is not related to her outside of a professional setting (and actually, even cousins are unacceptable associations as they are potential suitors). My SO will not be able to visit me here at all. It SUCKS. I want so badly to show him the work I am doing and to introduce him to the amazing people I have made friends with. But I can't risk my good reputation in the community. I work with children and if my reputation is damaged it will make my job impossible to do.

Life sucks.

[Moon]

Life sucks.

Yep, sometimes it does.

[D4Joseph]

So for those that are parents would you do this to your child? And if you did wouldn't at least try to help heal the wound of your child and significant other? You don't HAVE to but wouldn't that help settle things a little. You can think it's rational but feelings were hurt nonetheless. It is life. It being life doesn't prove anything. I am being emotional about this who wouldn't be. It was a bit of an emotional, angry decision to not bring her to the airport.

[R&R]

My daughters (20 and almost 19) would have sat down with me, confirmed it was okay to book the flights, and we would have done it together. Why? Because even though they are adults, they still respect that I am their parent and something as big as traveling cross-country our into another country is a big deal and it should be planned together.

And you should always have a plan B. If her parents decided not to take her, have the money ready for a cab or friends ready to help out. You are supposed to be at the airport at least two hours early and this would have given time for her to get there when her father decided not to take her.

I have consoled my daughters when they were upset but I also have taught them to not dwell on things. You can either let things get you down and destroy you or you can learn a lesson and do things differently next time. Needless to say, I have two mature daughters who act like adults.

[Honour]

So for those that are parents would you do this to your child? And if you did wouldn't at least try to help heal the wound of your child and significant other? You don't HAVE to but wouldn't that help settle things a little. You can think it's rational but feelings were hurt nonetheless. It is life. It being life doesn't prove anything. I am being emotional about this who wouldn't be. It was a bit of an emotional, angry decision to not bring her to the airport.

I'm going to be blunt. You've been given so much advice, which is what you wanted in the first place, and so many words of wisdom, yet you seem to pay little heed to them. I suggest you give yourself some time to digest the information, rather than continuing to display your unhappiness. I understand you're not happy, nor would I be in your situation, however that doesn't deter from the fact you are now talking out of anger and negative emotions, rather than seeing sense.

[D4Joseph]

Ok all emotions aside right now seriously. If the dad says the statement "yes I'd bring you to the airport I wouldn't do something low like that" doesn't that mean he knows it's something cruel to do and did it anyways?

[R&R]

At this point, you can sit and rehash it over and over, but it isn't going to change what happened. You have to move forward. If you are going to make plans for another trip for her to come see you, I would highly suggest making other arrangements for her to get to the airport.

[Moon]

So for those that are parents would you do this to your child? And if you did wouldn't at least try to help heal the wound of your child and significant other? You don't HAVE to but wouldn't that help settle things a little. You can think it's rational but feelings were hurt nonetheless. It is life. It being life doesn't prove anything. I am being emotional about this who wouldn't be. It was a bit of an emotional, angry decision to not bring her to the airport.

I wouldn't have told my daughter I was taking her to the airport, and then not done it, to be honest. I would have done what I said. I'm not saying her parents aren't crappy parents (or that they are), or that the choice they made was the right one, all of that is irrelevant actually, because it does nothing to help your particular situation. When appropriate, you do try to smooth things over with your children (not their SO's, the SO's feelings aren't my problem, to be completely honest, you aren't my kid), but when you feel your children are being completely irrational, then you just let it go, and let 'em deal with it themselves.

Smoothing things over doesn't mean you give it, it means you apologize and show sympathy, but stick to your parental guns. That's how you raise prepared, mature adults.

[D4Joseph]

Like I said emotions are out the way seriously and I'm done rehashing it. I just want an objective reply to my last post

[whatruckus]

Ok all emotions aside right now seriously. If the dad says the statement "yes I'd bring you to the airport I wouldn't do something low like that" doesn't that mean he knows it's something cruel to do and did it anyways?

Yes, but at the same time, in his mind he did the right thing. That's how parents are. His first instinct is to protect his daughter, especially with you being her first boyfriend.

[R&R]

If my daughters asked me if I would do something for them and I said I would, yes I would do it unless something came up beyond my control or I found out something that would make me have to change my decision. Unfortunately, not all parents are the same.