Originally posted by Petals
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Originally posted by uk2usa View PostI'm trying to busy myself with work (new job), reading and going for walks. But he's the only one who is consistently there for me, out of all my family and friends. :/
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I agree with all those who have said cut the cord with the BFF. You are not only risking things with your SO, you are going to break up a friendship. That is not fair to your SO. Wrecking your relationship bc of your attraction to the BFF is one thing, killing a friendship is another. Even if you and your SO don't work out and you end up with the BFF, you've still ended their friendship. I don't know many friendships that can handle the ex dating the friend. Being super lose with your SO's friends isn't the way its supposed to be unless you were friends before the relationship. Back off before it's too late."You want for myself
You get me like no one else
I am beautiful with you
I am beautiful with you
Even in the darkest part of me
I am beautiful with you
Make it feel the way it's supposed to be
You're here with me
Just show me this and I'll believe
I am beautiful with you"
-Halestorm
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Well, I have to disagree and say that being close with your SO's friends is nothing wrong. However, when you definitely feel more than friendship, you need to take a step back and re-examine the situation and your approach to it, that's for sure! Be honest with yourself, that's the most important part.
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You sound to me like you are having some sort of crush on his friend. Only you know if it is platonic or romantic, and what it means to you. One very practical tip: stop comparing the two men to SO, especially to your SOs disfavour, unless you want to give SO the impression of not liking him anymore.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits
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Originally posted by Miasmata View PostWell, I have to disagree and say that being close with your SO's friends is nothing wrong. However, when you definitely feel more than friendship, you need to take a step back and re-examine the situation and your approach to it, that's for sure! Be honest with yourself, that's the most important part.
If a guy were saying the things she's saying about his attachment to his girlfriend's bff, wouldn't your alarm bells go off?Met Online : July 2013
Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
Proposal : December 2014
Closed distance : February 2015
Married : April 5, 2015
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Originally posted by Petals View PostNo it isn't wrong to be close to your SO's bff, but in this context, she is getting closer to the bff than her own SO. Something is wrong with this picture. She needs to work out issues with her bf and if the relationship is not working then end it. IMO, what seems to developing here is an unhealthy attachment, while she is in this relationship and it is likely to escalate if she doesn't put an end to it soon. It doesn't mean not talk to him at all, but reduce the amount of time she spends talking to him.
If a guy were saying the things she's saying about his attachment to his girlfriend's bff, wouldn't your alarm bells go off?
OP, either you prioritize your SO again, or you break it off with him. I don't like being so blunt, but when something goes so beyond friendship like your relationship with the BFF seems to, you are not having your priorities straight! If you feel neglected by your partner, say so. Don't use his friend as the replacement boyfriend!
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I meant in this situation where she is spending more time talking to her SOs bff then her own SO it isn't right. Being casual with ur SOs friends is more appropriate. They are too close for comfort."You want for myself
You get me like no one else
I am beautiful with you
I am beautiful with you
Even in the darkest part of me
I am beautiful with you
Make it feel the way it's supposed to be
You're here with me
Just show me this and I'll believe
I am beautiful with you"
-Halestorm
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I definitely don't have feelings for my BFF romantically, so I will curb the conversations. You guys are right when saying it could lead to something devastating and it isn't fair to SO
I do prioritize my SO but it's so hard when I get nothing back. I don't want to lose him, but it's so hard
I do have other friends but it's not the same, I'm very grateful to call my BFF just that.
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Then, like I said, don't use the BFF as the replacement boyfriend, the guy who gives you the attention and care your partner doesn't. It's not fun, but you definitely need to convey to your SO that you have some serious issues with the way things are, and that he needs to take that seriously. LDRs are tough, and it needs the energy and devotion of everyone involved to make it work. Instead of seeking comfort in the BFF, try confronting your SO with these problems. Best of luck!
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Originally posted by uk2usa View PostIt's my SO's birthday today and he hasn't spoken to me once. He's still gone to college, and he's read my messages. :/
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Originally posted by uk2usa View PostI can't say anything because it's his birthday.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits
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A relationship isn't supposed to make you miserable. How your partner treats you isn't supposed to make you miserable. Yes, it will have ups and downs but from all you have posted, you are really the only one vested in this relationship. He can say he loves you or wants this relationship all he wants but his actions have proved otherwise. End it, birthday or not. You don't deserve to keep suffering because of his actions (or non-actions).To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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