How often do you Skype/Video chat?

[canuck]

Wondering how often folks skype or video chat.

I'm asking because a lot of things I've read recommend keeping Skyping or video chatting to a minimum in a LDR...like once a week in many articles. What is that recommendation all about?

We do it at least twice daily. Morning coffee and in bed in the evening before crashing out. Other times throughout the day might be just a quick little video call to show each other our office, a project or reno we're working on, etc.

On top of that, we chat all day long on either skype or facetime messaging back and forth.

How often do yo do it?

[merlinkitty]

Skyping? Rarely. It's a luxury but we survive

Messaging? At least once a day. Sometimes nothing but a short conversation. Others, half the day it seems we don't bug each other much when we don't have much to say. Keeps us from getting on each other's nerves I think we save it for when we really want to talk

[canuck]

Is it a time zone thing that keeps you guys from doing it more often? That'd be understandable. My SO and I are in the same timezone, so that doesnt get in the way for us.

I guess part of it might be that we spent everyday together for over two years before she headed off to a contract job 900kms away. Used to seeing and hearing each other pretty much all day.

[TheSteelAngel]

We used to Skype everyday at first. Then it became every other day. And now it's once a week because of his job and that's if I'm lucky. Our main communication is by texting now and that's just a little bit everyday. It's tough but we still make it work.

[Unconditional]

I assume the articles mean well because many times you run out of things to talk about I'm an LDR if you talk too much.

Skype: I have to say RARELY. Let me emphasize that.
Messaging: Far more often than skype, as it's easier for him to shoot me a text before he gets super busy.

It all matters on what you're good.with. If you're happy with the amount of communication, then it doesn't matter. Take me for example, we rarely skype and often he only texts me when he can get the time to, so it's little and far between, and I'm alright with it. That being said I'd like more, but I will always understand why it is the way it is.and accept that.

[canuck]

We generally keep our morning chat pretty quick. Coffee and a quick chat about whats happening that day. Evening chat we talk for a bit and try to play an online game of boggle or something like that.

[Moon]

We rarely use video, but we talk almost everyday for about an hour, just as I get home from work, and he's getting ready to go to bed. We use Viber most of the time, with some backups when needed.

[Miasmata]

I honestly don't understand why someone would make it a blanket advice to limit Skype calls. "You will run out of things to talk about" or what? If you ever want to close the distance, you see each other every day too, so if you already run out of things to talk about via call, that's a whole different issue. Whether it's calls or in person, not having enough going on in your life outside of the relationship that you can talk about will be a problem. Same for bad communication. But I digress; just wanted to put that out there. Different things work for different people, as usual - But no matter how often you talk, in a good relationship, you should generally not feel like you have nothing to say. A good call doesn't always need to be a big discussion, the little things matter already.

As for me, we chat via messages on a few occasions throughout the day (I'll check in on him at work every few hours or so, basically), and we get on Skype when he's home. Even on nights we don't have much to talk about, we enjoy each other's presence, watch something together, that kinda thing. I cherish seeing his face every night, even if it's just for a short call.

[CanadianGirl]

Yeah, I don't really get why Skype should be limited. For us, we fluctuate, depending on how busy the other is. We might not talk much sometimes, and just have each others faces around for company . Some weeks, we might only Skype once or twice, but lately, we've been doing it every day. It really only depends on you, your SO and not much else.

[canuck]

I honestly don't understand why someone would make it a blanket advice to limit Skype calls. "You will run out of things to talk about" or what? If you ever want to close the distance, you see each other every day too, so if you already run out of things to talk about via call, that's a whole different issue. Whether it's calls or in person, not having enough going on in your life outside of the relationship that you can talk about will be a problem.

I can entirely agree with this. The whole running out of things to talk about doesn't make sense to me. How on earth can people be in a relationship where they can't communicate daily for even 5 minutes?

I'm really glad that my SO and I have always maintained communication with each other both when apart and when together. Her field of work has her away a lot. Sometimes just for a couple of weeks or a month, other times extended periods like now. Regardless, that shouldn't and doesn't hinder communication between the two of us. I've actually found that the times apart strengthen our communication and build a very fulfilling bond between the two of us.

[Unconditional]

I can entirely agree with this. The whole running out of things to talk about doesn't make sense to me. How on earth can people be in a relationship where they can't communicate daily for even 5 minutes?

It's hard but it works for us. That being said, there is a difference between consensually not talking because you're "afraid" of having nothing to talk about, and having to put up with it.
I can understand what they're talking about, but how can you not just start a new conversation by saying something random? It is super easy to make a new conversation. I believe if the conversation goes flat, perhaps you just need a new spark in the fire so to speak.

[Miasmata]

Yeah, exactly. As said, it's totally fine to do things in the fashion that work for you, but when you DO talk, it's really not that hard to get a conversation going. Overthinking it is the biggest obstacle there. Even just little things you might consider insignificant can spark nice conversations and make your partner feel more included in your life.

[canuck]

Yeah, exactly. As said, it's totally fine to do things in the fashion that work for you, but when you DO talk, it's really not that hard to get a conversation going. Overthinking it is the biggest obstacle there. Even just little things you might consider insignificant can spark nice conversations and make your partner feel more included in your life.

Just talking about the weather here can cause a 10 minute conversation! That easily leads to discussion about the various ways you could warm each other up!

[Unconditional]

Overthinking is definitely the bad guy when it comes to little to no communication or LDRs in general. Overthinking is definitely a hard thing to not do. A good tip that helps me is when you feel as though you are overthinking and it starts making you quite sad that you remind yourself how silly you are by rereading messages (or a journal if you write.) That helps a lot for me usually. Right now there's not a whole lot of overthinking goin on over here ^-^

[merlinkitty]

Is it a time zone thing that keeps you guys from doing it more often? That'd be understandable. My SO and I are in the same timezone, so that doesnt get in the way for us.

I guess part of it might be that we spent everyday together for over two years before she headed off to a contract job 900kms away. Used to seeing and hearing each other pretty much all day.

We've got a 7/8 hour time difference depending on the time of year. We don't observe daylight saving where I'm at. It's partly too because both our busy schedules and the fact he lives with family. I'd rather talk in privacy without grandma butting in