What's the longest you've gone with no communication?

[differentcountries]

I've been "therapied" since high school, maybe even earlier. You either: (a) pay your money, cry for an hour, the therapists nods and makes notes (if they are even listening), and then time's up, schedules the next session. You're just a cash machine, nothing more. Or (b) you have a free session, you cry for 45 minutes, the final 10 are used to push you off on someone else, the therapists nods and makes notes so you can be "discussed" and "analyzed" (e.g. for student homework), but not actually helped. And you have to tell your story over and over again -- the good parts, the messy parts. It is unproductive, it is upsetting, and it doesn't bring him and I any closer, physically or emotionally. You ask point blank: "How does this bring us together?!" and the so-called professional sits there gobsmacked.

I have been to therapy, but it was alway very task based. I might tell about myself, cry and whatever, but it was always very "go home and think about this", or I would even get specific tasks. I also read books where I got tasks to do. I used to have an eating disorder and the way I healed was through a lot of self explore, self love, body awareness kind of approach. Later in life, when I was physically sick and went to therapy/coaching, it was even more kognitive/task based. I would get work sheets from my therapist, home work, almost. She helped me a lot with my claustrophobia and I had developed a fear of public transportation which I was very quickly cured from through her tasks. Therapy can be very specific. There are many different styles. A friend of mine struggles with anxiety and he likes the more "tell me about your childhood" type of approach (perhaps because he is already very proactive about everything, he is too efficient and "hides" in his cleverness). And then there is body-based therapy, I did that somewhat, too - like physical therapy but they focus on "getting to" your emotions through it and make you talk about it when you cry or feel uncomfortable. Also, lots of other things can have a healing effect; massages, yoga, walks in nature, music and differnt ways of self-exploring with other people. I also have some bad experiences with therapy, and I have left people I did not match with or did not experience as good - for me, anyway. It might be worth to travel a bit if you have to to get to a new/good therapist.

I am not sure how you expect the therapist to bring you closer to your boyfriend. Therapy is supposed to bring you closer to you. Unless it is couple's therapy, but then he would have to be there, not just you.