I think the important thing here is not really how long you go without hearing from him, but the fact that it is not agreed upon and that you are in doubt weather or not this may be part of his job. Regardless of him being busy, you should be able to get some kind of heads up about it before or during, and certainly after.
I do not survail my SO at any rate, but I know his work hours. The standard work hours are 10-22, but less in low season. I know that Sunday until Tuesday we will have probably little contact because Sundays are busy and Mondays in high season he works a double shift (10-18, one hour to eat and change and then he will work 19-02, and then from 10 the next day). Sometimes they have events on the job meaning he will work until late but he will tell me about it. Sometimes he travels but I will know. It has happened that he fell asleep right after work without being able to text me for nearly 48 hours because next day at work was busy (and I have been at his job many times, I have not doubts about the stress of his job) - but then he texted/called and apologized. 2 times I was not able to reach him because his phone was broken, within 48 hours he contacted me on Facebook. If I did not hear from him for days, I also would not hesitate to contact his friends, workplace, brothers, the local hospital etc. to make sure he was not hit by a bus and unable to contact me in any way. SO is the same; when my phone was out of battery for more than a day (I had recently moved, was tired, lost my charger and had no money to buy a new one and husband was at work) he called my husband, worried that I was sick, all three of us were soon in contact on Facebook to establish what had happend and what to do.
People are busy and things happen, but to not be in contact and give no reason why is simply not ok.
I do not survail my SO at any rate, but I know his work hours. The standard work hours are 10-22, but less in low season. I know that Sunday until Tuesday we will have probably little contact because Sundays are busy and Mondays in high season he works a double shift (10-18, one hour to eat and change and then he will work 19-02, and then from 10 the next day). Sometimes they have events on the job meaning he will work until late but he will tell me about it. Sometimes he travels but I will know. It has happened that he fell asleep right after work without being able to text me for nearly 48 hours because next day at work was busy (and I have been at his job many times, I have not doubts about the stress of his job) - but then he texted/called and apologized. 2 times I was not able to reach him because his phone was broken, within 48 hours he contacted me on Facebook. If I did not hear from him for days, I also would not hesitate to contact his friends, workplace, brothers, the local hospital etc. to make sure he was not hit by a bus and unable to contact me in any way. SO is the same; when my phone was out of battery for more than a day (I had recently moved, was tired, lost my charger and had no money to buy a new one and husband was at work) he called my husband, worried that I was sick, all three of us were soon in contact on Facebook to establish what had happend and what to do.
People are busy and things happen, but to not be in contact and give no reason why is simply not ok.
it doesn't feel like a relationship to me if I can't connect with them. And like I previously said, in today's world it is not hard to get a hold of someone. I know in the military they are denied regular contact with family on deployments, and when traveling overseas a lot of people just forego bringing their cellphone and that limits contact. But I still maintain the thought that it isn't that hard. I imagine it'd make one wonder where they stand in this person's life, especially if you're fighting for a future with them.
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