He went home, and I am already struggling

[LivingInWonderland]

My boyfriend went home yesterday, after an amazing three weeks together. He fit in so well with my family, and into our household. Within a couple days it was like he was one of the family. We spent almost every waking moment together, other than the few days that I spent at work. It was all perfect. We had a couple small arguments, but being with him, and living with him for three weeks really gave me a taste of what it will be like to live together.

My mom and I brought him to the airport very early yesterday morning. I of course cried like crazy and it was impossible to let him go, and to watch him walk away. Knowing that I won't be seeing him again for another six months.

He made it home safe, and we began skyping and IMing each other right away. I cried when we first opened Skype. Because it really hit me then that he was gone. And he started crying when I left to go eat dinner with my family, because he said he was so used to just getting up and going with me.

This morning he messaged me and told me that his house no longer feels like home. His brother and parents feel like strangers to him. He said he would give anything to be back at my house.

It is helping both of us to know that we will be closing the distance for sure in July. It's just getting through the next six months that is going to be really hard for both of us. I miss him. I know it's going to get easier with time. But right now it just feels like this constant ache in my chest since he left.

[abna1]

Sending your way! Goodbyes suck so much, especially when you know that you'll have to spend quite some time apart before the next visit. We had the same situation in Oktober. Knowing that you'll definitely be apart for at least six months is hard. But at least this time you know that this was the last goodbye and have closing the distance to look forward to. That's really exciting and I'm so happy for you

[KansasPrincess]

I know exactly how you feel. I just brought my SO to the airport yesterday and cried my eyes out because I won't see him until June and I have to go back to my boring life here and do things.
But I try to see things from a positive point of view. As positive as you can make it in situations like ours, right
You guys spend a great time together (fighting belongs in there as everything else that's couple-y) and you know when you are going to close the distance. With every day you wake up, you will be one day closer to that day
Stay strong but it is ok to be sad from time to time. It is not easy to be love from a distance but worth it <3

[Redheart14]

Hang in there!! I was like that on the last visit before we closed the distance. You'll be so busy organising stuff soon that it will just fly by.

[LivingInWonderland]

Thanks everyone

[Honour]

It'll make closing the distance all the more fulfilling when you both get there. Hang in there.

[Unicorn26]

I feel for you, I was so down after my visit I missed him more than I ever thought possible. I still do, but it's so important to keep busy.

I found hanging around on here helped a lot. Having people who totally get what your going through can be a real help and boost to your mood.

[Ella85]

We can count down the days till closing the distance together. We just filed for my visa and as long as it comes though in time should be closing down the distance end of July. Also heading back to England tomorrow and SO is at work. Had a few tearful moments already. Sending hugs your way.

[Loveyoumore]

Saying i'll see you later always sucks. On the flip side at least y'all are closing the distance soon. I cry every time my boyfriend and I have to go back home. It feels like that loneliest drive ever.

[LivingInWonderland]

Thanks for all of the kind and supportive words everyone. It is much appreciated.

I have been doing a bit better today. I broke down and cried while we were skyping again. As hard as I tried not to. I feel bad because in the heat of the moment I just kept repeating, "I can't do this" with my face in my hands. Which made my guy feel really bad. He and I both know we can and will beat the distance. Spending the last three weeks together definitely confirmed that this is worth fighting for. But it also has made it a lot harder to go through. He has always been better at saying goodbye than I have. I think it hits me a lot harder than it does him. But he has always been the pessimist, and I the optimist. :/

His mom basically came in and called him a phsycopath (yes, she really said that), because I got home from a long day of work and fell asleep during our Skype call, and he left it open. His mom is a strange.... Strange women. Neither of us know why she freaked out so much about that. But she called him phsycopathic, and proceeded to go into the other room and cry and tell my boyfriends dad that I have changed her son for the worst. So she has definitely not made saying goodbye easy....

But we are taking it one day at a time. Thanks again everyone. This forum really has been such a big help over the last year.

[Loveyoumore]

I'm glad to hear you are doing a bit better. It's rough being away from the one you love. Weather you have a good day or a bad day you get through a bit stronger then the day before.

[differentcountries]

His mom basically came in and called him a phsycopath (yes, she really said that), because I got home from a long day of work and fell asleep during our Skype call, and he left it open. His mom is a strange.... Strange women. Neither of us know why she freaked out so much about that. But she called him phsycopathic, and proceeded to go into the other room and cry and tell my boyfriends dad that I have changed her son for the worst.

You say in your first post that her son - your SO - feels like he lives with you already, his house is nothing longer his home and his own family are now strangers to him. I take it that she noticed him detatching more and is not happy about that. And I guess he will move to you in July? She is grieving the changes and the upcoming loss of him.

[LivingInWonderland]

You say in your first post that her son - your SO - feels like he lives with you already, his house is nothing longer his home and his own family are now strangers to him. I take it that she noticed him detatching more and is not happy about that. And I guess he will move to you in July? She is grieving the changes and the upcoming loss of him.

She has more than likely noticed him detaching. But she is currently unaware that he will be moving here in July. We decided that it was best to wait to tell her until a few months before. Because we know how she is going to respond. She was beyond angry that he was coming here for just a few weeks. I can only imagine how she will react when she finds out it is permanent this time.

I understand that she loves her son, and is not quite ready, and may even be scared, to let go. But because of the way she has treated me, the things she has said, and her behavior over the last 6 months.... She has already lost him. Which is something that I think she has yet to realize.

[sasad]

Yea,... I don't think she is grieving per se.. I think she is "punishing" him for going. That is what it sounds like.
I hope they do reconcile at some point. Is he the oldest child or only child?

[LivingInWonderland]

Yea,... I don't think she is grieving per se.. I think she is "punishing" him for going. That is what it sounds like.
I hope they do reconcile at some point. Is he the oldest child or only child?

Yeah, that's what my mom said when I told her about what has already been going on since he has been home.

He has just one other sibling. His fraternal twin brother.