Want to become intimate ut im christian..

[Astysuphos]

Thank you all so much it really helped me ^-^ i appreciate all advice and views so really thanks ^-^

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I know I'm late on this one, but just wanted to throw my two cents in. I also am one who was raised extremely religious. I was adamant that I was going to wait until I was married. I ended up waiting through my first few boyfriends, but I started to question why I was waiting. Was it for me or for other people? I almost had sex with my ex. Condom was on and everything, but I panicked. I started crying and decided I wasn't ready. Fast forward one little year and I was with my current boyfriend. We hadn't been together that long and all of a sudden I just knew. I wanted to have sex and I wanted it with him and it just felt so right. I never once doubted my decision nor felt guilty about it. When it comes down to it, you have to decide for you. You can't have sex or not have sex for your mom or your boyfriend or your pastor or you great aunt Stacy. It has to be for you. When it's the right time, you will know. All of those doubts will float away and what will be left is your unwavering decision. If those doubts are still haunting you for whatever reason, then it's not the right time.

[TheSteelAngel]

I'm late in reading this too lol, but I was also raised as a Catholic and I was always raised with the idea of the order of love first, marriage second, babies last (aka wait for marriage). I was very strict with myself to wait until I got married. Then I went to a public school for middle and high school and when I had sex ed, it showed me the true risks of sex which scared me shitless. I couldn't believe that teenagers my age were having sex and I turned into wait for marriage to being extremely anti-teen sex (I still feel this way a bit OP I'm sorry).

So in my case fear has helped make my decision, but now I believe I am ready for sex and I am only 23 myself. It takes time for people to get ready and be comfortable with it. My opinions of sex have changed a lot over the years, so my advice to you is do it once you feel less guilty about it. As long as you use protection I am sure God will forgive you

[MissButterfly]

Would you like to discuss this outside of the forum? Just between you and me? I promise I won't 'rake you over the coals'. I am offering that, one Christian to another. So we can straighten any Biblical confusion you may have.

I know you probably mean well but to me that sounds like a bad idea, a 48 year old man 'straigthening out Biblical confusion' with a 16 year old girl from the internet. Who is to say that your interpretation of the Bible is any better than hers? I'm sure she has a safe family/church community that she could fall back on to ask the questions she has about the Bible.

Astysuphos, religion is super complex and personal. There is no one right way to interpret the Bible or understand God. You're still really young, and probably learning a lot about what YOU believe rather than what your parents 'made' you believe so to say. If you are so insecure about your beliefs and values, I'd take some time to figure all that out first. If your religion is important to you, you need to take the time to come to terms with your own religious identity apart from your family. It's absolutely okay to decide that you do not agree with their interpretation. I definitely wouldn't rush into sex right now because as you said, you are unsure of where you stand with your religion and it can't be undone. Take your time to talk to people in your family or community, and make a decision based on what you think is right for you personally

[Astysuphos]

Thank you very much! Ive been talking to some friends aswell and the conclusion ivr come to is that, since i feel guilt im not ready for it. The reason i felt ready might have been just because i got excited after kissing and such. And its true, since im raised christian i believe in the God my parents do but not how i feel it and atm it is indeed verh confusing who God is in my life and how i want to deal with it. I hope ill figure it out in the future ^-^

[Kapwned]

There is no such thing as a perfect Christian. According to the Bible we all sin, so what's one more? Not to mention, the Bible is written on ideals and social structures for the time it was written and there's a lot of contradictions found within the Bible. This is not to bash your religion, it's just fact. The bible reflects an older time. You can still use it as a foundation for your morals and beliefs, but following the Bible as law may inhibit your individuality. Your God simply wants you to be a good person, and choosing to express your love in a physical way does not make you a bad person. Just be safe!

[elly]

I think you should go beyond the "word" of the Bible and try to understand the reason why it is said that you should wait untile marriage. It's not just an irrational commandment, it has a specific purpose which is related to the stability of marriage itself in the christian conception. However there are many different reasons even not religious to choose chastity before marriage. I can suggest to watch a really good video about this topic and it talks especially to teenagers. I cannot add the link of the video, but you can find it on YouTube by searching "Jason and Crystalina"

[Astysuphos]

I think you should go beyond the "word" of the Bible and try to understand the reason why it is said that you should wait untile marriage. It's not just an irrational commandment, it has a specific purpose which is related to the stability of marriage itself in the christian conception. However there are many different reasons even not religious to choose chastity before marriage. I can suggest to watch a really good video about this topic and it talks especially to teenagers. I cannot add the link of the video, but you can find it on YouTube by searching "Jason and Crystalina"

Thank you for your advice <3 sadly we have proken up 2 days ago because of the distance... im glad i didnt have sex.

[Elizabeth123]

I'm sorry you broke up.Please take good care of yourself. You have lots of good things ahead in your life to focus on...school, family, hobbies, etc.