A few months ago, since many of our letters to each other got lost, my SO and I decided that whatever we wanted to write to each other, we would from now on write it in a diary, and we would read each others' diary the next time we meet.
This next time will be in exactly one month. I now have 34 pages (I expect to reach at least 40 by the time we get together) and she has... well, 4. I don't mind the difference, but I'm facing a dilemma: while I kept in mind that what I write would be read by her eventually, I can't help but think that this is a lot of unveiled mystery. In my diary I alternate between pages where I describe what I feel on a daily basis, and pages where I describe sort of a chronological story of what I felt for her (friendship, attraction, crush, growing closeness, etc.) before we were together and up to our first kiss (we met in April 2014 as she started working in my research lab, we are together since December 2015, so it's a description of how my feelings grew over time until they made me take a flight to see her 20 months later). Regarding the description of my feelings on a day-to-day basis, they are more like comments summarizing what we talked about on Skype, when I felt it was an important subject, and elaborating on that. I sometimes describe things that she did that made me really happy (like calling me in the middle of the day to cheer me up when I got a bad news), and also things that made me sad, insecure, or jealous (like her telling how great her ex was at giving massages). I also write about my hopes for our future, my fears, etc.
I don't think she will be surprised by the content regarding day-to-day feelings, since we occasionally take the time to talk openly about things we like and don't like in the other person's behavior, and promise each other to improve these things. The story of my feelings prior to our relationship may be a bit newer to her. Overall, however, I feel like this is a pretty large compilation of my feelings, in writing format, and that she could leverage it in a bad way (not necessarily consciously): by taking me for granted and stopping to make efforts, for example. I've always been told that to keep his relationship going, a man has to keep a part of mystery. I start to think that maybe this diary would be something to keep writing but give her only after a few years (maybe with a ring?).
What do you think?
This next time will be in exactly one month. I now have 34 pages (I expect to reach at least 40 by the time we get together) and she has... well, 4. I don't mind the difference, but I'm facing a dilemma: while I kept in mind that what I write would be read by her eventually, I can't help but think that this is a lot of unveiled mystery. In my diary I alternate between pages where I describe what I feel on a daily basis, and pages where I describe sort of a chronological story of what I felt for her (friendship, attraction, crush, growing closeness, etc.) before we were together and up to our first kiss (we met in April 2014 as she started working in my research lab, we are together since December 2015, so it's a description of how my feelings grew over time until they made me take a flight to see her 20 months later). Regarding the description of my feelings on a day-to-day basis, they are more like comments summarizing what we talked about on Skype, when I felt it was an important subject, and elaborating on that. I sometimes describe things that she did that made me really happy (like calling me in the middle of the day to cheer me up when I got a bad news), and also things that made me sad, insecure, or jealous (like her telling how great her ex was at giving massages). I also write about my hopes for our future, my fears, etc.
I don't think she will be surprised by the content regarding day-to-day feelings, since we occasionally take the time to talk openly about things we like and don't like in the other person's behavior, and promise each other to improve these things. The story of my feelings prior to our relationship may be a bit newer to her. Overall, however, I feel like this is a pretty large compilation of my feelings, in writing format, and that she could leverage it in a bad way (not necessarily consciously): by taking me for granted and stopping to make efforts, for example. I've always been told that to keep his relationship going, a man has to keep a part of mystery. I start to think that maybe this diary would be something to keep writing but give her only after a few years (maybe with a ring?).
What do you think?
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